My boy with the bread, My Peeta
by ginger on fire
Summary: My love. My boy with the bread. My Peeta.   My take on the 'Real or Not Real'. BTW: LEMONS, although tastefully done. I don't own anything! Turned into a series of related one-shots.
1. Chapter 1

**Note from Adillae: So, even though I LOVE the Hunger Games, the last paragraph of Mockingjay left me slightly dissapointed... So this is my take on the whole situation! Review and let me know what I can work on. Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language and I'm a little rusty. **

**By the way, I don't own the Hunger Games, any characters or the song. I also quote a line from Mockingjay, that one isn't mine either. The song from the first Hunger Games and at the end of Mockingjay. Nothing is mine, except the plot. If it was, I wouldn't be living in a crappy trailer park in the middle of North Carolina.**

**Enjoy :) **

"Peeta!" I shouted into the darkness of the arena, hacking away at branches and jungle vines. My heart was beating so loudly I was sure that it was going to beat right out of my chest and explode. "Peeta!" I screamed, rounding a corner and tearing more foliage away when I saw it.

Peeta, lying lifeless on the jungle floor; dead.

"Peeta!" I cried, running over to him and collapsing, shoving his body, forcing him to stop pretending, to wake up and move. "Peeta! Peeta please! Peeta!" I screamed over and over again until my throat was raw, tears streaming down my face.

"Katniss." I heard someone say as I buried my head deeper into Peeta's shirt, wanting to die along with him. There was nothing left for me now.

"Katniss, wake up." The voice said again as I jolted awake, gasping. Sitting up quickly, I shouted Peeta's name once more before the real Peeta came into focus in front of me, a troubled look on his face.

He was kneeling in front of where I sat on the couch, looking worried and concerned. His blonde hair was brushed out of his face, revealing his sparkling blue eyes. His hands, warm and tough from the bakery, were on my shoulders as he gently rubbed up and down, trying to calm me.

"Peeta!" I cried, actual tears running down my face as I leaned forward, falling into him. His strong arms were around me in mere seconds, holding me gently as I let my tears cascade down my cheeks and onto his shirt.

The nightmares haven't stopped. Every time I closed my eyes, images of dead Peeta, dead Finnick, dead Rue, dead Thresh and so many others popped into my head. I couldn't get them to go away, no matter what I tried; I eventually let them come and suffer through them, since that was all I could do. The last night I slept without a nightmare was with Peeta on the train. And that night was long gone.

Peeta and I hadn't spoken since he planted Primrose in my garden, and once I realized that, I was completely surprised to find him here. I suppressed the pang of guilt that hit my stomach as I thought about how incredibly horrible I was to him, yet he was still here. Had he heard me screaming and came to comfort me? Had he just been walking by and randomly visited? Had Haymitch set him up to it? Did he actually want to see me, and just walked in during a bad time?

I normally would never have been so teary, but the nightmares were getting more realistic by the second. Thankfully, he didn't seem to mind. I inhaled deeply into his shirt; He smelled of cinnamon and nutmeg. He was still warm, even though the freezing drizzle and cold temperatures outside suggested he should be otherwise. I missed him, and I was an idiot for not doing anything about it, but especially for not admitting it.

I pulled away, giving what was supposed to be a faint smile, and mopped up my eyes. He brought his hand up and brushed the hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear before giving me a once-over. Thankfully, this had been a day where I had showered and actually took the time to come out my hair, putting it in a nice long braid down my back, however my thrashing during my nightmare made it very messy.

"Nightmare?" he questioned quietly as I merely nodded in return. He looked sorry, which only made me feel worse. I had practically ignored him, and I don't even have a good reason why, and he still had time to worry about me after losing everyone he cared for. The guilt feeling only got worse. Haymitch was right; I didn't deserve him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked softly as he gestured to a basket that was sitting next to him, holding a half-dozen cheese rolls. I had to smile at this.

He squeezed my hand before getting up and grabbing the basket, setting it on the kitchen table. He began to tidy up slightly, clearing off my table, brushing off the counter, folding the towels, and making his way over to the living room to do the same. It made me feel like I was a drunken Haymitch, but I suppressed the instinct to shout at him to stop. He was in fact being helpful, but I felt like the cheese rolls, however wonderful, were just an excuse.

"What are you really doing here?" I questioned once he finished, sitting down on the couch next to me.

"We need to talk." He said calmly and quietly after a short silence.

I didn't know what that meant. "About anything in particular?" I asked.

"Everything." He whispered, catching my eye. I swallowed. He continued. "There has been so much I have wanted to say to you, I just haven't been able to make sense of it in my head. I think we should just take turns saying what we need to get out, and then never bring it up again. The past can truly be the past, and we can both explain things that we've been wanting to explain to each other. Like one big 'Real or Not Real' game." He told me, and I was relieved. There was so much I wanted to tell him, so much I wanted to explain, but then I froze.

"Peeta, you know how lousy I am with words—"

"Yes, when you think. Just feel." He said. "Don't think about what the other _wants_ to hear, just honest answers so we can have clean consciences." he said sweetly, and I saw that the old Peeta, the Peeta that I cared for, was back; His perfect way with words, and his loving personality unconsciously flowing into his conversation. My heart fluttered at the realization.

"You start." I tell him, and he smiles at me, turning to me on the couch. I sat cross-legged facing him, and took a deep breath.

He did the same. "Ever since you sang that song in your red dress, I've been caught under your spell. I know you don't like to hear me say things like that, but it's one hundred percent true. Everything I said to you in the games, especially in the cave, was true. I know that you were just acting, but I meant every word, and I'm not ashamed to let you know. I know you might not feel the same way, but it felt good to tell you—"

"Peeta—" I started, interrupting. I needed to let him know that I felt the same way, but the look in his eyes made me stop.

"Katniss, please, I need to get this out." He breathed, and I nodded, urging him to continue. "My whole plan from the beginning was to get out of there. I managed to get out with you, which made me the happiest man on earth. Everything from then on was still true, but it somehow made me feel worse to have you act differently than you felt. I knew it had to be that way, to keep you alive, and I am willing to do absolutely anything to do that. I wanted everything to be real, so _desperately_, but I figured that if I couldn't have you in real life, then that was the next best thing." He told me, his gaze never wavering. Tears were streaming out of my eyes by now, and I didn't even try to be strong.

"During the Quarter Quell, my only objective was to keep you safe, and I made so many mistakes that almost cost you your life. I failed you by hitting the force field and by letting you out of my sight." He said, shaking his head, talking to himself more than me. "I tried to protect you as best I could, but then Snow and the tracker jackers…" he trailed off. "I will never forgive myself for hurting you like I did, but you have to try and understand. I was so confused and scared, I didn't know which memories were mine and which were the Capitols. I didn't know up from down anymore. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you." He said softly, his eyes settling on my hands in my lap.

"Peeta," I started quietly. "I forgive you. Of course I forgive you." I assured him, taking hold of his hand gently.

He looked up at me sadly. "They turned me against you. It was the most horrible feeling in the world. I feel like a monster, knowing that I could hurt you at any moment. If I was smart, I would stay away from you and keep you safe. I'm just not strong enough to do that. I don't want to leave you." He ended quietly.

"I thought you were a mutt, real or not real." He asked.

"Real." I breathed.

"I strangled you the first time I saw you after you rescued me. Real or not real."

I sniffed, tears rolling so fast down my face they completely passed my cheeks and fell onto my chest. "Real."

"I shot you with your own arrows. Real or not real."

"Not real." I said, sighing internally. I didn't want them all to be real and make him feel so much worse.

"I am so afraid," he continued so quietly I had to strain my ears to listen, "of hurting you again. If I lose control, I'll never know and might end up doing something terrible. I'd never forgive myself if something else happened to you."

"Peeta…" I sniffed, reaching a hand forward and touching his cheek. We weren't very far apart by now. In fact I could feel his warm breath on my face; I could see the sparkle in his bright eyes. "You won't hurt me Peeta, I'm right here, I'm okay." I sniffed. If I didn't deserve him before, I certainly didn't deserve him now.

He brought his hand up to my face, and smiled faintly, however his eyes changed in a split second. His sparkle was gone, replaced by a dark, angry blue.

"Katniss, I need you to leave, please." He said quietly, looking down at his hands, his muscles starting to clench.

I didn't answer, I just stared back at him.

"Katniss, please leave." He said loudly as he got up from the couch and turned away from me.

"Peeta?" I asked weakly.

"KATNISS, GET OUT!" He shouted as he walked over to the window. He leaned his hands on the window for support, his whole body was rigid as his muscles tightened, trying to stay focused.

I felt a mean retort trying to make its way out of my mouth, but I held it back, trying to comprehend what was going on. I was hurt at his words, after just telling me that's not what he wanted. Then I knew. He wasn't being mean. He was trying to protect me.

I gasped as I understood. He was trying to suppress a memory. An artificial, Capitol implanted memory; a feeling of hate towards me. So this was what it was like. He had no chains on his arms to keep him in check, but it didn't seem to be as bad as before. Hands on the window, head hanging down low, his muscles flexed in both strain of remaining in focus and not letting those feeling overcome him. A blush crept slowly across my cheeks as I felt a surge of immense gratitude.

I had always felt it. I had owed him from the moment he became my boy with the bread. But I never repaid my debt to him; I had only made it greater. And he never owed me anything. It was one sided. I was just too self-centered, terrible, cruel and selfish to comprehend the magnitude of it all. Here, in my house, after everything we've been through, I began to understand, at least a little bit, of his feelings.

Walking over to him slowly, tentatively, I reach out my hand and lightly placed it on his arm. He didn't throw it off, so I moved it up to his neck, stroking his blond hair that made a point on his neck. He was shaking slightly, muscles still rigid with concentration as he opened his eyes. They were dark pools of black, so shockingly different than his sparkling blue eyes that were there seconds before.

"Get out." He said, voice shaking. It seemed to be a last ditch effort to protect me.

"_Because that's what you and I do, protect each other."_ I smiled at the memory, of how much of it was actually true.

I wasn't going to abandon him; I don't care how much he wanted me to. I gently stroked the back of his neck as he stayed still, except for a little shaking, and waited it out with him.

I felt horrible. I wanted to make it all better; I wanted to make all of his pain go away, since I seemed to be the reason for it, but I didn't know how. Then, as if it was an instinct, I started to sing.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow,  
>a bed of grass, a soft green pillow,<br>lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes  
>and when again they open, the sun will rise.<p>

Here it's safe, here it's warm  
>Here the daisies guard you from every harm<br>Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
>Here is the place where I love you."<p>

I felt him slowly start to relax, his muscles loosening themselves a little more with every word. His face looked calm and peaceful again, and I'm sure his eyes were his normal bright-as-the-sky blue. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I pushed Rue out of my mind, focusing myself only on Peeta and what he needed from me, however my singing seemed to do the trick. He breathed out slowly as I slowly started to move my hands again, one on his neck and the other on his arm.

Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead up against the cold window, the cold condensation dripping down the clean panes. He sighed as his breathing returned to normal. He looked exhausted.

"Thank you." He breathed, as I smiled faintly, placing a small kiss on his arm, just under his t-shirt sleeve. "That was beautiful."

"I'm glad it helped you." I responded truthfully.

"It helped more than you even know. You have no idea what you do to me." He replied as I tried to lead him back over to the couch, but he stayed at the window, frozen, his eyes still closed.

Terror shot through my veins as I tried to understand what he meant. Did he mean that I started his memory and made him like that? Or did he mean that I helped him back from one? Or did I just make it worse?

He lifted his head up, turned it and opened his eyes, which were back to their ordinary beautiful blue shade. He smiled, and even though it was a tired smile, it gave me that feeling that I had only felt twice. A stirring in both my stomach and in my heart.

I slipped underneath his arms, the only thing that was still holding him upright, so that his palms were pressed against the window on either side of my shoulders. I looked up at his handsome face. The few scars from the new skin, a couple scars from the games, a tired smile, and his burning eyes only made the feeling flutter, feeling as though it could lift me up off the ground. The air between us seemed to be electrified. I knew that he could feel it too.

Calmly, gently, and ever so achingly slow, I leaned my head in and pressed my lips against his. I could feel him hesitate out of confusion, but I kept going. He still smelled of cinnamon and nutmeg, and tasted of pure heaven. His soft lips felt perfect against my own. That's when I knew. I knew for sure.

I pulled away and looked into his eyes. As expected, confusion was the main emotion, although glimmers of happiness and love shone through as well. There were no cameras around, and I knew he might not understand at first. I smiled at him, telling him that I chose to do that on my own, and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, hugging him so fiercely I'm sure I would've started another bad memory.

He stayed frozen for a second or two before wrapping one arm around me just as tightly. A feeling of pure happiness shot through me, something I didn't think I could ever feel again, as I smiled, inhaling deeply into his shirt again. I couldn't get enough of his smell. He kissed me back. He hugged me back.

"My biggest fear is hurting you. I'll never forgive the capitol for what they did to me. To you." He told me sweetly, his head buried in my hair, his lips millimeters from my neck. Shivers were sent up and down my spine, giving me a feeling that only Peeta could.

"Peeta…" I breathed, trying to find some way to thank him, to say something that would make up for all of the torture and hell he went through for me, but he seemed to understand. I smiled faintly at him, a smile that he returned as I led him back over to the couch a few feet away, where we resumed our earlier position.

"Are you getting any better?" I asked him quietly.

He nodded. "I don't get as many episodes anymore. I'm figuring out how to control myself. Things are going well." He told me, and I felt relieved.

"Your turn." He smiled gently after a silence.

Something about the way he said those two words made me stop and think.

Peeta. My Peeta. My boy with the bread. He was here, in front of me, and we were safe. He was safe. I knew I could tell him everything. For the first time in my life, I really trusted someone. I fully, truly, wholly, trusted them.

Peeta seemed to sense my hesitation and ran his finger down my arm. "Don't think. Just feel." He whispered.

I looked into his eyes. And then I started to feel.

"I will never forget how you saved me with that bread." I started. "I still feel a horrible pang of guilt when I picture you with that burn mark on your face where your mom hit you. I know that was because of what you did, and it just scared me. I was scared that I was the cause, and I thought that by just pushing you away, things would get easier. But I don't remember saying thank you, which has been bothering me ever since that day. So thank you."

"I didn't act as much as you thought I did. In the cave, there was one kiss that… I felt this feeling, and I-I knew that there was something there. I got the same feeling on the beach. The first time, it scared me. I was childish and selfish, and when I said that I didn't feel the same way, I…" I trailed of, not knowing what to say. "My whole goal of the second games was to keep you alive. I never told you, since you never would have agreed. By the end, I was making decisions on whether or not they would help you live. But when your heart stopped…" I had to trail of again, since a fresh wave of tears overflowed. Images from my recent nightmare were raging through my mind as I tried to focus. "I wasn't acting, not then. When I saw you there, with no heartbeat, it was the worst few seconds of my life." I cried. "I don't ever want to see you like that again. And when we split up, and I lost you…" Sobs starting to take over my body as I remembered those painful days. This was not as easy as I thought. I felt Peeta gently pull me across the couch and into his arms. He set me in his lap and held me there, whispering sweet phrases in my ear, rubbing my arms protectively, and let me cry.

Once I dried up enough to speak, I continued. "When I found that you were taken, I didn't want to believe it. Haymitch never let me forget how I let you get away from me. Before we went into the games, I made him promise that he would save you, and not me. I ruined everything, and you were being tortured because I was stupid enough to let you out of my sight. I didn't even want to think about you being hurt, but my nightmares showed me over and over again, they still do. I don't think I slept at all without you."

"And when you came back, I had never been so grateful. Then when I first saw you and you…" I trailed off as I felt him sigh. I know that he was still upset with himself for what happened. "I know it wasn't your fault, and I don't blame you at all." I added, turning my head to place my forehead on his cheek. "I was afraid that I would have to kill you. I worried so much about you. When you came on my mission and were in so much pain, we were so distant then that I didn't know what to do." I cried again.

"Katniss…" I heard him say, the aching in his voice cutting through my body like a knife. I looked into his eyes and saw so much pain there that it made a new wave of tears overflow. He tried to wipe them away, but there were too many and coming all too quickly, so he brought me to his chest, pinning me there. His strong arms were wrapped around me again, rubbing my back and drawing circles on my new flesh. I felt his fingers playing with my braid, twisting the soft hair underneath his fingers.

"I don't deserve you." I breathed. "I'm sorry that I am so horribly self-centered, and I am so sorry for everything that I've done in the past that has caused you any pain at all." I whimpered. It was so unlike me to do all of this, but Peeta needed to hear this. He deserved to know.

"I'm so sorry for all of the pain that you have endured because of me." Peeta replied.

"I wish I could help you." I whispered.

"We can help each other." Peeta said, and I could hear traces of a smile in his voice.

"Real or not real?" I asked, smiling too.

His bright eyes met my dull gray ones and conveyed more love than anything I had ever seen. "Real." He whispered, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"Katniss…" he breathed as I looked into his eyes. "You love me. Real or not real?" He asked, and I could feel the spark between us.

"Real." I breathed so quietly that I didn't think he heard me, but his eyes lit up and a huge smile slowly spread across his face.

"I love you, Katniss." He smiled, cradling me in his arms.

I smiled up at him. "I love you too, Peeta."

He smiled and laughed a little, bringing his face closer to mine. "I'll never get tired of hearing that."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his lips to mine, kissing him deeply and taking him by surprise. He wrapped his arms tighter around me as I parted my lips slightly, moving a hand to the nape of his neck. It was soft and slow, though incredibly passionate. Peeta was gentle and calming yet confident, just like always. He was perfect.

Peeta moved his tender kisses down to my jawbone and then onto my neck, kissing every available inch of skin. I felt a fire burning in my heart as the electricity sparked between us, his kisses leaving behind a tingling sensation that was causing me to go mad.

"Tell me you love me." I smiled, closing my eyes, letting Peeta control what was going to happen.

"I love you." He murmured immediately into my skin.

I tried to steady my breathing, but Peeta's soft and slow kisses were making it difficult for me to think straight, let alone breathe. I gasped slightly as he brushed over my collarbone, my eyes fluttering shut.

"I love you, Peeta." I told him again, which seemed to give him a burst of enthusiasm. He brought his lips back up to mine, the fire and passion between us was unlike anything I've ever felt before. My hands were running through his hair as his were moving down my back, holding me securely. I parted my lips as his tongue slid across my bottom lip. I loved the taste of him, the feel of him.

Unexpectedly, his lips were ripped from mine; his whole body was suddenly taken away from me. My eyes flew open, looking around for him, wondering if he was having another tracker jacker issue. Worry shot through me, as well as a slight tinge of rejection that I tried to repress.

He was, however, only a few feet in front of me, breathing heavily and looking at me sadly. "I'm sorry," he started. "I couldn't continue because I know that if we went on much longer, I wouldn't be able to stop." He breathed, looking at me honestly.

I stand up, completely in awe about his kindness and thoughtfulness. My heart was aching for him, and I could tell his was doing the same. He at least had the courtesy to stop and make sure he wasn't overstepping his boundaries. No matter what, I would never deserve my boy with the bread.

"I don't want to push you, Katniss, I know you're hurting." He told me quietly as I took a step over to him, laying my hands on his chest. "I don't want to pressure you. I just don't trust myself to stop." He whispered as he wrapped his strong arms around me.

Overwhelmed by his sweetness, I blinked back a few stray tears. "Peeta, I don't want you to stop."

He gave me a look of slight confusion, but he quickly understood what I meant, and only gripped me tighter. I could hear his heart beat, and I closed my eyes and thanked Finnick for restarting that beautiful sound. He was warm and safe, comforting. Just what I needed.

"Peeta…" I breathed, the ache in my voice was surprisingly clear. I knew he understood.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

I nodded. "Why, do you not want to?" I asked, dreading his answer.

To my surprise, he chuckled. "I definitely did NOT say that. I don't want to hurt you." he added seriously.

"You won't." I promised. "Stay with me." I breathed so softly that I'm not sure I even said it out loud.

"Always." He replied, equally as quiet.

I lifted my head to look him in the eyes, giving him a small smile before pressing his lips to mine. I could feel a new passion, a new fire underneath it all. His kisses were gentle yet strong, calm yet full of passion. They were perfect.

He moved them across my cheek, down my jawbone and all around my neck, taking his sweet time, even going over a couple spots twice. I closed my eyes and tried to tell myself to breathe normally. My ability to talk seemed to disappear as my brain turned fuzzy. I moaned breathlessly as his hands and lips traveled all over me, wanting to memorize me as much as I did him. His lips just barely brushed my collarbone as I whimpered, pleasure shooting through my body. His touch was electrifying, the tension between us was getting unbearable. He smiled as he murmured sweet phrases into my skin, and I was so thankful for him. For everything about him.

We took our sweet time exploring each other. I ran my hands lightly over his arms and his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his muscles. I listened to his heartbeat and his steady breathing as he played with the end of my braid, running his fingers through the loose ends. His hands ran over my arms and back, drawing pictures lightly into them as we enjoyed each other.

Swiftly, Peeta lifted me up easily and gracefully like I weighed nothing, and started to carry me up the stairs. He peppered kisses to my hairline and temple as I moaned quietly and held onto his shoulders, strong and safe. He carried me carefully into my bedroom, where we had spent so much time perfecting our book, setting me down gently on the floor.

"Peeta…" I whispered achingly, dragging my fingertips to the bottom of Peeta's short sleeve shirt and grabbing the hem, pulling it slowly over his head and onto the floor. I traced a hand carefully over the muscles of his chest and arms again, wanting to remember each one by heart. I was amazed at how perfect they were, how they had kept me safe over the last couple years. He reached an arm around to my braid, pulling of the tie and running his fingers through it. It fell out of its braid effortlessly, and he nuzzled his head into the soft wave of brown.

"I love your hair." He whispered, curling and twisting it between his fingers. "I always have."

I smiled at him as he grabbed the hem of my shirt and slowly worked it over my head, making my wavy hair cascade down to the middle of my back. He ran his hands through it before giving me a soft kiss on my lips.

His hands traced over my arms and stomach, the muscles involuntarily squeezing at his touch, and eventually brought his lips as well. I gasped at the sensations, the heat of his body mixed with mine was incredibly intoxicating. He covered every exposed inch of skin, and I was so tingly I was almost shaking with anticipation. He studied my arms as I did his, his hands running over me, sometimes tracing patters of flowers into my newly grown skin. I moaned quietly at his touch. It made me feel like I truly was the girl on fire.

His hands. I had always loved them, and I can't quite point out what was so unique about them. They weren't too big or too small; they were normal and perfectly sized. They were slightly rough and calloused from bakery burns over the years, and very detail oriented. They made beautiful cake flowers, breads and drew gorgeous pictures. And on top of everything else, they knew how to please me.

"And I love your hands." I told him quietly, just as they brushed against my stomach, making me shudder, a quiet gasp escaping from my mouth.

He slid his wonderful hands behind me and I hesitated, fear rushing icily through my veins. No one had ever seen me before, not like this, and I began to panic.

"Peeta," I started, looking into his eyes. He didn't seem upset which put me at ease. I wanted to make an excuse, and for a split second, I wanted to run. "I…"

"Sweetheart." Peeta replied lovingly, in a way that I'd never heard before. That word was saved for Haymitch in his scratchy voice, his flare of frustration. That was the first time Peeta had ever said it, and the way it rolled off his lips with such happiness, even though I stopped, made it my favorite word in the world. "It's okay. We can stop if you'd like to." So caring. So responsible. So loving. So Peeta.

"I'm scared, Peeta…" I whispered, deciding that from this moment on, I would never lie to Peeta again. He deserved the truth, especially since I hid them from him until only a few moments ago.

"Katniss…" he breathed, kissing my forehead. "It's just me." he reminded me calmly, running his fingers up and down my arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps wherever they went. "It's only me." He repeated.

And he was right. Peeta's eyes shone down at me, a loving expression in them and caring lips that had explored almost every part of me, and I knew that I was safe. It was Peeta. I had been stupid to be afraid; I knew that he would never hurt me. He was the only boy that could make me feel this way. My boy with the bread.

I smiled up at him, pressing my lips against his, rekindling the dangerous fire.

He took his steady hand and reached back behind me again, unclasping my bra with one easy click. I let it fall to the ground with the rest of our forgotten clothing, Peeta giving me all the confidence I needed. He peppered small kisses across my new skin and breasts as I whimpered.

Peeta lifted me up again, this time gently setting me on my bed as he supported his weight above me on his forearms. I kissed him deeply as he trailed them down my neck again and across my chest, bringing a hand up to caress the newly exposed skin. He kissed the tender underside of each breast as I groaned his name quietly, trying to ignore the heat that was forming between my legs. His warm palm rolled over each of them, sending tingles down my spine and letting a soft moan escape from my lips. I arched my back, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You're so beautiful, Katniss." Peeta murmured into the valley between my breasts, kissing all over them tenderly as I laced my fingers in his hair. A hum of sorts escaped my lips as I felt Peeta smile, moving his kisses all the way down to my abdomen.

Suddenly, his face was back up to mine, his lips capturing mine in a gentle kiss. "Do you trust me?" he breathed, eyes shining even in the darkness.

"Always." I whispered softly back to him, and he smiled.

"I love you Katniss." He said, his blue eyes twinkling.

I smiled. "I love you, Peeta."

He trailed his kisses quickly back down to my stomach before taking hold of my simple hunting pants, easily sliding them, and my underwear, off of me and onto the floor.

He covered my thigh in kisses as I grew slightly impatient. I needed him; the fire inside me was burning so brightly that I had to tell myself to wait. I knew he wouldn't leave me disappointed.

"Peeta, please…" I whimpered eagerly as he chuckled; bring a few fingers up and tracing the fire between my legs teasingly. "Peeta, that's not fair." I told him, voice somewhat high-pitched and strangled. I felt him smile.

My breath hitched in my throat as he slipped two fingers into me easily, kissing my neck slowly. "Peeta…" I gasped, amazed that anything could feel this wonderful. My eyes fluttered shut as he slid them slowly in and out. I wouldn't be able to think straight even if I wanted to; pleasure from Peeta's hands completely taking over. Our kisses were sloppy and short, both of us gasping for breath but still maintaining contact. His fingers continuously ran over a certain spot inside me, and it took all that I had not to scream out so loudly that I'm positive all of District 12 would come running. His thumb gently brushed over a spot that made jerk against him, pleasure shooting through my veins. All I wanted to do was have him closer; I couldn't get enough of him. I needed his kisses, his hands, his fiery skin touching mine. I was addicted to my boy with the bread.

"Peeta, I love you." I managed to whisper.

"I love you too, Katniss." I heard him answer sweetly.

I reached my hands down to his belt, messily undoing the buckle and forcing his pants onto the ground. I wanted to protest when he slid his fingers out, but I was too preoccupied with his lips.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. Of course he was thinking of me. I truly would never deserve him.

I nodded. "Just go slow." I breathed.

I felt him slowly push into me before the pain ripped through me. I felt like I was being torn apart as I squeezed my eyes shut tight. I didn't want Peeta to see any tears, since that would make him stop immediately and he would never forgive himself.

His lips were all over my face, giving me small kisses as I tried to adjust. I could tell he was dying to move, but he stayed completely still.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you. I'm so sorry." He murmured over and over again in between kisses, into my new pink skin, doing his best to comfort me. I knew he blamed himself for my pain, since he would always blame himself. I grabbed a hold of his hand and squeezed it, telling him it was alright.

I nodded after a few minutes, and he started to move. Expecting pain, I gasped in surprise when nothing but pure pleasure shot all through my body. His rhythm was slow and steady as I clutched into his shoulders, bring him closer to me. He laid his head in the crook of my neck as I pressed my forehead against his shoulder.

I whimpered his name over and over, 'Peeta' seeming to be the only word that I could form. My heart was overflowing with love for him. I still couldn't get close enough as I pressed my body up tighter against his, needing his touch.

"Katniss, I love you." He murmured sweetly, kissing every bit of skin he can reach.

Suddenly, I shouted Peeta's name so loudly I thought that Haymitch would certainly come running in the door. My whole body tensed as I felt Peeta do the same, a feeling of complete happiness and euphoria washing over me. It felt like I was losing consciousness, although full of so much more pleasure. It seems like I couldn't stuck enough air into my lungs as I whispered Peeta's name continuously.

Peeta collapsed next to me, breathing just as hard as I was. Still craving his touch, I slid over into his arms and laid my head on his chest, his wonderful heartbeat pounding in my ears. Thinking back to the arena, I would have never thought I'd be here to enjoy this, especially with him. I kissed the base of his neck as he wrapped his arms around me, pinning me close.

"I love you." I mumbled into his skin as he curled his fingers through my hair.

"And I love you Katniss. Always." He breathed.

My boy with the bread. My love. My Peeta.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note from Adillae: Hello everyone! Thanks for the wonderful comments and messages about the first chapter! I had originally thought it would be a one-shot story, but I only worked part time today, and as a result I wrote another chapter. It's going to probably end up as a series of related one-shots, if that's alright with everyone :).**

**Peeta and Katniss are so great together, and even though they are damaged since they have such strong feelings. And I wanted to focus more on feeling instead of getting straight to the slightly more raunchy (is that a word?) things, so if you're looking for wild sex stories with no feeling, this is definitely the wrong place.**

**I didn't have much to go on here, since the book doesn't really describe things like the bakery, or life after the war, so I wrote it how I figured it would most realistically be. Again, I don't own the characters or anything. If I did, I'd be living in a castle instead of a trailer park. Enjoy and review please! I'm always looking to get better!**

**P.s. I'm sorry this is a long note, but I talk too much. I'm sorry if the grammar is wrong. I've been speaking a lot of Romanian lately and I'm getting a little mixed up. I've checked a thousand times, but I'm sorry if there is something I'm forgetting! Romanian and English are very different languages and it gets tricky.**

The rain was coming down in buckets as I ran through the street, dodging potholes that were quickly becoming swimming pools for the fallen leaves. I was soaked to the bone, a chill creeping down my spine as I turned the corner. The bakery stood on the far corner, the lights shining brightly in the windows and smoke billowing from the chimney.

Every time it rained, I couldn't help but remember the time that Peeta saved me. The time that he handed me those two burned loaves of bread and saved my entire familyl. I tried to suppress the memory as I made it to the end of the street, standing under the small awning of the bakery and attempting to drip dry for a few moments.

It smelled heavenly. A mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, dill, cheese, dough, frosting and strawberries emitted from the doorway, which stood wide open even in the rain. The light inside flickered, indicating that Peeta had just put something in or taken something out of the oven. I continued to let the heat from the open door dry me, not wanting to drip water all over the bakery floor.

When Peeta wasn't home, he was here at the bakery. He had always loved it; he always talked about working with his hands. He was wonderful at it too, always creating beautiful masterpieces that people could afford, now that the war was over and things were working out. Life was as normal as it could be for us.

The nightmares still came. The flashbacks, the tracker jacker episodes, they all came back as well; the pain and sadness that came over us when we remembered those that were taken away from us. None of that has changed. The world, however, had turned around. There were no more Hunger Games. There were no more starving people; everything in each district was evenly distributed and traded. Everyone had at least some money, enough to get what they needed. People were happy again, people smiled again. Life was happy.

Peeta and I were still there for each other. Those times when the nightmares and flashbacks took one of us over, the other was always there to comfort. To tell each other how much we loved each other and that everything was okay. We knew that we would never fully heal. We had accepted that. The fact that we had each other, though, was enough to give me enough happiness to last the rest of my life.

I stepped into the bakery, the heat from the oven hitting me at almost full blast. It felt so great after being in that bone chilling rain. It was a comfortable temperature. Maybe that's why Peeta liked it, too.

The bakery was small, oddly shaped building. There were a few chairs and tables on the right side, while on the left stood the counter and the display case that held all of Peeta's wonderful creations. In the corner behind the counter was a big oven, almost like a kiln, that held a few dozen loaves of bread at the moment. There was a large archway that lead to another small room, which was where the treats were made and decorated. Two big wooden doors in this room opened up to the alleyway behind the bakery, and those too were open.

It wasn't much, but it was everything.

Peeta was standing in front of the oven, holding a big wooden paddle that was now retrieving a few loaves. His broad shoulders and strong arms did this easy as I watched in awe from behind him. He turned around and deposited the warm bread on the counter before he looked up, locking eyes with me. A smile instantly spread across his face as his eyes shone back, and I couldn't help but return it.

"Hello sweetheart." He said gently, sticking the paddle in the oven and pulling out four loaves on the large surface.

"Hi." I smiled back, taking a step towards him. My boy with the bread hasn't changed. And yet, he has, in so many ways. We both have.

"You got caught in the rain I see." He laughed, setting the paddle down and walking over to the counter. "Were you hunting?"

I nodded, taking off my fathers' hunting jacket and hanging it over the back of a chair. I squeezed the end of my braid as water trickled onto the floor, leaving a little pool of water. "I just got back from dropping the rabbit and squirrels at Greasy Sae's. She is going to make us rabbit stew for dinner. She was just starting it when I dropped the meat off, and it smelled wonderful." I told him.

Hunting wasn't really a necessity anymore, since everyone was able to hunt now, and everyone could afford meat. It wasn't like before. There wasn't any more black market trading at the Hob, but at least everyone could afford a good meal, and I was thankful for that. I just hunted because I needed something to do, and I truly did love it. Being out in the woods helped clear my head of the nightmares and flashbacks.

Greasy Sae has taught me a few basics about cooking, but I still wasn't anywhere near ready to feed Peeta and me on my own. Thankfully, her and her granddaughter came over every day and helped. She would cook and I would watch. It's not that I didn't know how, I just didn't know how to do all the fancy things that she did. I was used to cooking for survival, and now that things had changed, she was teaching me how to make things taste delicious with different kinds of spices and seasonings. I had to say that I enjoyed it.

While I had the cooking lesson, Peeta would play with Greasy Sae's granddaughter. He loved children, and every single one loved him. Peeta and that little girl however, that was something different. They had a bond of sorts. She would always bring her ball of blue yarn, and they would spend the whole time winding it, unwinding it, he would teach her some easy knots, even draw flowers with it. She would smile and clap as she sat in his lap on the floor, trying to do recreate what he showed her. Sometimes, if she was having a good day, they would talk; usually about the grass or the trees, or sometimes even Buttercup. They would spend the whole time together, never leaving each other's side.

And I could see the ache in his eyes when she had to leave.

He would sweep her of her feet while she hugged him fiercely, squeezing her eyes tight before he set her back down on the ground. He would hand her the ball of yarn while Greasy Sae would grab her other hand, and off they would go.

Watching them made me smile. It made my heart both ache and flutter. I knew that Peeta wanted children, and a part of me wanted them too. A small part. I could see how much he wanted them. He would be the perfect father, and I wanted that to come true for him. I wanted us to prove our love in that way. I wanted to have someone that was proof that him and me were meant for each other. I wanted someone to have a bit of both of us in them. I wanted to look at a child knowing that he had his father's eyes, or his father's kind heart.

The majority of me, though, was afraid. I didn't trust this world enough to bring another life into it, not yet anyway. Things were still changing out there and I wouldn't feel safe bringing a child into the mix. It had only been a couple years since the war. Things needed to simmer down a bit before anything of that sort happened. I didn't trust myself as a mother; I knew I'd be lousy at it. I was afraid of failing, afraid of things that were beyond my control.

Peeta understood this, and of course he was absolutely wonderful about it. He knew my feelings towards having children, and respected them whole-heartedly. After all these years, I still didn't deserve him.

He had only brought up the subject once, and it was right here in this bakery. It was a late September night not too long after we were married, and I had come to find him still working, afraid that something had happened to him.

"_Katniss," he breathed, his hands on my hips. "I'm going to say something, and I promise that I'll never bring it up again, alright?" _

_I nodded, feeling the warmth from the oven and from his calloused hands that were gently holding me near to him. _

"_I want us to have children. I want it so desperately. I want us to be able to have kids that we can call our own. I want them to have your eyes, and your spirit. I want it more than anything in the whole world. I'm not saying that we have to have them anytime soon. I just want you to think about it, please." His voice broke on the last word, and so did my heart. "If you ever change your mind, come tell me, alright?" _

_I inhaled and exhaled deeply, looking into his bright eyes. "I know." I whisper. "I know you do. And we will, I promise we will. Just not now." I breathe as Peeta's eyes grew wide, and a smile spread across his face instantly. His arms wrapped around me tightly, making it difficult to breathe, but I hugged him back with the same ferocity. I felt nervous for what I had just promised, but I knew I would follow through. Peeta deserved to be truly happy._

"Good, I'm glad it's rabbit stew. I'm sure it will be wonderful." Peeta smiled as I snapped back into reality.

I nodded. "Was it a busy day?" I asked, walking over to the counter and leaning across it, careful not to touch the piping hot bread. I was inches away from Peeta's face. He smelled wonderful.

"We sold out of cheese bread." He smiled wryly. I laughed at him as he leaned in closer; his lips mere millimeters from mine. "Mrs. Mellark, you are getting your wet hair dangerously close to my fresh bread." He whispered, giving me a quick peck of the lips that didn't satisfy me in the least.

I whimpered quietly as Peeta laughed, taking a step back and starting to put the loaves in the display case. I wiped up the drops of water that fell on the counter with my hand and gave Peeta what I thought was an annoyed look, however it only made both of us laugh harder.

Mrs. Mellark. We had been married for a couple months, but the name still sounded foreign yet wonderful to me. We were in no rush to do the toasting. We waited a few years until after the war, just to let everything settle down, but he asked me, and I said yes. It was beautiful, his proposal and the toasting. We were officially married, but I had given my heart to Peeta a long time ago.

"Come stand over here by the fire sweetheart, you'll be dry in no time." He told me as I walked behind the counter and in front of the burning flames. The bright orange tongues licking the side of the oven wall only made me think about our first carriage ride. When I was the girl on fire.

I instantly felt warmer as my clothes began to dry, giving them a stiff feeling that I hated. I turned and watched Peeta work as I waited for the heat to do its job. Watching Peeta work was amazing. His hands, those hands that I loved, could create the most gorgeous pictures on both cakes and canvases. I watched in awe as he finished painting a daisy on a cake and setting it in the window display.

"Who is that for?" I asked quietly.

"Tom and Lara's wedding. It's tomorrow, but I figured people should have a chance to see it before then." Peeta replied, putting away his frosting. "Just let me clean up and we can head home, alright love." He told me as he began to unknot his apron, bringing it over his head and hanging it on the hook.

"No hurry." I told him, practically all dry.

He swept the floor, locked the display case, cleaned the counters, and extinguished the fire in the oven. I watched the muscles in his arms work, feeling a tingly sensation run down my spine as I shivered despite being warm. I was crazy for my boy with the bread.

"Are you alright?" he asked, noticing.

I smiled at him. "I'm fine, thank you."

He returned the smile as he went to go lock the back doors. With his warm hand wrapped around mine, his other hand holding a basket full of day-old rolls, and my hunting jacket back securely around my shoulders, we headed home.

The rain was only a light drizzle now, the mist mixing with a slight fog, giving our normally cheery walk home a depressing look. It reminded me of the acidic fog that haunted my dreams, but I tried to push that out of my mind. Peeta's hand never left mine, his grip never slackened. I laid my head on his shoulder and stifled a yawn as we rounded the corner to home, passing Haymitch's house on our way.

I looked up at Peeta, wondering if we should go in and make sure he was alright, but he just smiled.

"He's fine. He came into the bakery today and bought a loaf of bread." He told me as we stopped in front of our door, setting his basket down on the ground and pushing the door open.

Greasy Sae's granddaughter came flying at Peeta, who caught her with one arm and hugged her tightly. I gave his hand a squeeze as I smiled at him and went inside, where the smell of delicious stew filled the air.

It was hard to focus on Greasy Sae. My eyes kept wandering over to Peeta and her granddaughter, playing with that blue yarn. Peeta was currently making a flower for her, laying the yarn on the floor and forming each individual petal. She laughed and tried to copy him, maneuvering the yarn herself. The result was a sloppy bunch of loopy yarn, but Peeta still praised her, telling her it was the most beautiful flower in the world.

I smiled as I watched him try to teach her a simple knot, which she understood after a lot of practice. Peeta was patient, helping her through the twists and turns of her fingers, never getting upset or frustrated with her. He was calm and gentle, just like he was with everything.

They were talking about the meadow, and how they liked the feel of the grass while she kept trying to perfect the knot. He carried on the conversation so easily it didn't look like it took any effort from him. The ache in his eyes was gone. He seemed so much more comfortable and happy with her here.

Then she had to leave. And the ache seemed to return with a greater force.

Dinner was wonderful. The stew turned out perfectly, and when it was accompanied with one of Peeta's sesame rolls, it was simply divine. The rain stopped sometime during our eating, and left a strange fog behind. Peeta added some more coal to the fire as we settled into the couch after dinner, a cold sweeping through the house that meant winter was surely on its way.

This was our usual after dinner activity. We would curl up on the couch, happy just to be in each other's arms. We would talk about anything and everything, or sometimes not talk at all. Sometimes we would just listen to each other's heartbeats and tell one another over and over again how much we loved each other. Lots of sweet kisses and almost nightly gentle love making has happened on this couch; some beautiful moments that I'll never forget. I blushed at the thought of them.

"Katniss, are you alright?" Peeta asked, drawing circles absentmindedly into my arm as I sat in his strong embrace, my head leaning against his chest.

"Yes." I answered, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Peeta asked. We knew each other so well that it was hard to keep things from each other, not that we ever did. "Don't think. Just feel." He whispered to me. He knew I was having a hard time putting it into words.

"I was thinking about… children." I breathed.

I felt him freeze underneath me. I heard his breath catch in his throat. I knew how important it was for him, and I was so stupid for keeping the things that he truly wanted from him. I was a coward. I never will deserve him. After all these years, I'm still self centered and despicable.

"What about them?" He whispered softly, although unable to hide a tinge of excitement in his voice.

"Well…" I trailed off. Feel, just feel. "I was thinking we could maybe… have a couple." I told him. "I-If you want." I stammered out of pure insecurity.

"You think we should have a couple?" he repeated, dumbfounded.

"Well… yeah." I told him quietly. I couldn't help but smile, even though that was probably the dumbest sounding thing I have ever said.

Suddenly, his lips were on mine with such force and passion that I fell backwards onto the couch, surprised by his answer. He cupped my cheek as I ran my fingers through his hair, smiling beside myself. He kissed me long and slow, stopping only to whisper 'I love you'. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pinning him to me as his fingers ran down my arms, making me shudder. I felt a flush creep across my skin as I realized where this was leading. It had been a whole day since we had proved our love to each other, and that was definitely too long. I had an ache for him, but I took a slow deep breath to try and steady myself as he moved his kisses across my cheek and down my neck. Moving one hand down to his arm, I traced the muscles there and earning a shiver in response. He ran his hand down my body, eventually landing on my hip, giving me a tingly feeling as I gasped a small breath.

"Yes. Please." Peeta told me after what seemed like hours of gentle kisses and touches, his voice breaking with emotion. "Please, Katniss."

How could I say no to him? How could I say no to his eyes, to his voice that was so full of love and need? How could I say no after I saw him today with Greasy Sae's granddaughter? How could I say no when I saw the pain return when she left? How could I say no to my Peeta? His own passion had ignited a fire inside of me too, and before I knew it, I felt myself accepting the idea of a family, maybe even savoring the idea. What this boy did to me, I'll never quite understand.

"Then soon." I breathed back. "Very soon."

He smiled back at me, his eyes shining, as we continued until all hours of the morning. My Peeta. My boy with the bread.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note from Adillae: Hello everyone! Thanks again for your wonderful comments and messages! They make me so happy :) I worked the morning and afternoon shift at the diner today, so again as a result, you all got another chapter!**

**The English… I hope it's alright. Romanian has been my main language for the last couple months, and I only speak English part of the time at my diner job. So… I did my best! The main thing I forget is the whole past tense/present tense (I mix them up a lot), conjugations and I probably messed up on a few words. So, I hope everything is alright! I've double, triple, quadruple checked it, but things can still slip by!**

**Again, I don't own anything. If I did, I wouldn't be living in a trailer park. Enjoy!**

**Te iubesc, şi bucuraţi-vă! :)**

"Peeta!" I screamed, trying to get to him. The acidic fog that has haunted my dreams ever since the Quarter Quell trapped me where I was, forcing me to stay put. I wracked my brain frantically to try and figure out some way to get to him, but I came up blank. I wasn't able to jump over it, and I certainly couldn't go under or through it. I was trapped.

He shouted again as President Snow let out a horrible laugh that made my insides clench. He was torturing Peeta, pinning him to the ground, slashing at him with a knife. There was blood everywhere, rose petals littering the floor. The look on Peeta's face broke my heart.

"Peeta!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face as he let out another blood-curdling scream. President Snow was slashing at every part of his body before giving him a punch in the face.

There was nothing I could do. I couldn't reach him. He was forcing me to stand and watch.

Suddenly, I heard the howls of the mutt wolves coming from beside me. I turned to locate the sound, but I didn't need to look far. A pack of twenty or so charged towards me, their eyes sparkling. Revenge was clear. I was going to die.

At the last second, they changed their path from me to turning off slightly. Confused, I followed their path, and fear spread icily through my veins. They were headed straight towards Peeta.

"PEETA!" I shouted over and over again until my voice went raw, tears running down my face. I heard his screams of terror and pain as I collapsed on the ground, the acidic fog starting to creep around me, making everything go dark. Peeta's screams filled my ears as the burning sensation overtook me.

"Peeta!" I screamed, waking up with a start, opening my eyes that were blurry with tears. I looked around frantically, trying to calm myself down with no avail. I must have fallen asleep on the couch, which is something that always ends badly. I tried to focus my eyes and look for Peeta, but he was nowhere to be found. I was shaking horribly and tears were streaming down my face by now. I was scared out of my mind.

"Peeta?" I questioned into the darkness of the house. The sun was beginning to set, but it always set early in the wintertime. The light reflected off the snow that was slowly fluttering down onto the ground, making them shine just like Peeta's eyes. "Peeta!" I shouted again, my voice scratchy and rough from screaming. No answer. I didn't know what to think. Was he safe? Was he dead? I didn't even want to consider the possibilities as I grabbed my hunting jacket and bolted out the door.

It was lightly snowing but was already accumulating. The snow crunched under my hunting boots as I passed Haymitch's house and sped around the corner, down the street. No one was out on the streets except for a few children, all bundled up in their jackets and homemade scarves. They waddled down the street and hurried into a warm looking house, trying to get out of the howling wind. The shutters of every house were all closed, but candlelight shone through the cracks, giving the homes a warm glow. Dinner was probably being prepared. Quiet laughter could be heard from every house I passed, but I only had one thing on my mind. Peeta.

The bakery door was open, of course. Even in the snow. It was warm enough that any flakes that entered the bakery melted instantly, leaving just a speck of water on the ground. The fire was flickering inside, and I could hear the wooden paddle scraping across the floor of the oven.

I sobbed once, messily wiping my nose as I sped to the open bakery door, bursting inside and looking around for Peeta. My eyes were probably blood red, my cheeks and nose as well, but I just had to see him. I had to know he was okay.

I heard him humming the song I sang to Rue, and I looked back into the decorating room. He was standing in front of a big white cake, piping green frosting onto it. They looked like vines, twisting and turning around the whole side. He looked so focused, so happy.

I exhaled, but only cried harder once I realized he was alive. I quickly walked behind the counter and through the archway into the decorating room, sniffing loudly.

"Peeta…" I breathed, running towards him as he looked up, surprised.

"Hi sweetheart, I didn't hear you come in—" He started happily, but quickly saw what was wrong. "Oh Katniss…" He whispered, setting down his frosting and cupping my face in his hands.

I sniffed loudly, letting out a few quiet sobs, closing my eyes and reaching my hands forward to grab onto his apron.

"Shhh, Katniss, you're okay. You're alright, I'm here now." He comforted me softly as I leaned my head into his chest, wrapping my arms around him tightly. He laid his chin on top of my head, wrapping his arms securely around me.

"P-Peeta…" I started, my voice shaking too much to form any other words. He shushed me quietly as he brought a hand up to stroke my hair calmly. He whispered sweet phrases into my hair, holding me tightly until my sobs were reduced to a steady stream of tears. His grip never slackened, his calming presence never left. He just waited with me, holding me until I was ready to talk.

"Come here." He told me quietly, leading me over to a chair at the end of the decorating table. He sat down, and then pulled me into his lap, his arms still having a tight hold on me. I snuggled into him, laying my head on his chest. I was so tiny anymore that I could fit comfortably in his lap, my feet hanging off the side and not even being close to touching the floor.

"It was horrible." I whispered after a long time of just sitting in the warm room, watching the snow stick to the warm windows and melt away. "This time there were mutts." I remembered, blinking away my tears rapidly. I didn't need to start again.

"You're alright. You're safe now." Peeta whispered, kissing my hair.

"Peeta," I sniffed quietly, remembering back to the nightmare where I was helplessly watching him die.

"Hmmm?" he hummed into my hair. His hand was absentmindedly drawing shapes into my arm.

"I can't live without you." I told him quietly, holding onto him for dear life.

His arms tightened around me at those words. "You won't have to." He whispered to me, with such emotion that only Peeta could convey. It was such a typical Peeta thing to say. Soft, gentle, comforting, and it made me feel wonderful. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." He continued. "I love you Katniss." He reminded me, and I couldn't help but smile.

I reached up and kissed the base of his neck, hugging him closer to me. "I love you too Peeta."

"Let's go home and see Greasy Sae, alright?" he said sweetly after we sat for a while, just holding each other. I felt better knowing he was here, knowing that he was safe and I was in his arms again. It reminded me that everything would be okay, and I have no reason to be afraid anymore. Peeta was here, and we was with me. I nodded at him as he helped me up, wrapping his arms around me in a warm hug. "I just have to clean up, okay? I won't be long, I promise." He whispered to me.

I nodded again, not being able to form words at the moment. I watched as Peeta shut the doors, put the cake in the display window, put out the fire, and quickly swept the floor. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I slid mine around his waist, and we walked towards home.

The wind was chillier than I remember it being, and the snow had picked up a little. Peeta kissed my hair as we rounded a corner and saw a few children sledding down a small hill. They were wrapped tightly in big coats and hats, laughing and having a wonderful time as the two children climbed into a sled and rode all the way down the hill. They rolled off into the snow, wiping their noses and holding out their tongues, trying to catch as much snow as they could. Suddenly, a snowball fight broke out amongst them, shrieks of laughter and happiness making their way towards us. They looked up at us as we walked past, sitting up quickly and waving.

"Hi Peeta! Hi Katniss!" They shouted, their voices muffled by their fluffy coats.

Peeta and I both waved, and I even let out a tiny smile beside myself. I glanced up at Peeta, who was smiling too, his eyes holding that familiar aching look. The same look that came when Greasy Sae's granddaughter had to leave.

The same pang of guilt hit me and I knew I was being horribly selfish and unfair towards him. I knew that kids would make him truly and completely happy, maybe even heal him. I knew that. I knew that he wanted them more than anything else in the world. And even when I knew that, I still didn't do anything. Was I truly that selfish? Selfish enough to keep the one thing that he wants just barely out of his reach? He deserved them; he deserved everything I could give him. He had waited patiently for me for a long time. I owed him that much. I just didn't trust the world, or myself. I could barely take care of myself, especially with the nightmares, could I afford to bring another life into the world, and be solely responsible for it? We discussed the topic just recently, when I told him I was thinking about it,and since then I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. The ache in his voice when he practically begged me is what made me agree. We haven't talked about it since then. But here, in the snow, with the familiar ache in his eyes and in his heart, I fully agreed. I decided to act.

I felt a flush creep onto my cheeks as I realized what I was deciding, but it's nothing we hadn't done at least six times a week. The fact that we had a goal now is what made things different. Before, it was just a consummation of our love, proving to each other that we would always be there; it was even incredibly therapeutic. Now however… things were changing.

We passed Haymitch, who was out sweeping snow from his front steps. He waved at us and winked as we waved back. It was too cold to stop and chat, but I would go over for breakfast and chat with him over some peppermint tea like always.

I opened the door as Greasy Sae's granddaughter ran into Peeta's arms, making the aching in his eyes go away. His face light up as he caught her, hugging her close. I knew that he needed them. I knew I had made the right choice.

I gave his hand a squeeze as I went in to go help Greasy Sae, who was making deer soup.

They left all too early, Peeta giving her granddaughter her blue yarn back as they headed out into the cold, and the familiar ache in Peeta's eyes returned. I tried to ignore it as Peeta and I settled into our soup, knowing that things were going to change. Conversation wasn't a priority, since the soup was so delicious and we didn't want to waste any time eating. His feet, however, were determined to keep a long game of 'footsie' going underneath the table, which was a sure way to keep me smiling.

When we ate until we couldn't possibly stuff ourselves any more, we brought our dishes over to the sink and started our usual washing and drying process. I always washed; I loved the feeling of the warm water and the bubbles.

I turned to look at Peeta, who was busy drying off a soup bowl next to me. I realized that I hadn't really kissed him at all today, and I was in desperate need of his touch. Maybe that was what's wrong with me. I carefully set down the fork that I was washing and dried off my hands, taking a step to my left and wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing the base of his neck. I inhaled deeply. He smelled like basil.

I kissed up his neck to his jawbone, pressing my forehead against his cheek. We stayed like this for a while, just happy to be near each other.

"I've been drying the same bowl for ten minutes." He laughed quietly after a long silence that was filled with just the wind howling.

I laughed too, kissing his cheek before turning his head gently towards me, pressing my lips against his. It was sweet and gentle, just like everything with Peeta was. He carefully set down his bowl and turned completely towards me, running a hand through my long hair that I didn't have in a braid. I parted my lips and stood on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck, pinning him against me.

I pulled away after a long time, my brain dizzy from lack of oxygen. I gave him one more lingering kiss before I pulled away, picking up my fork and starting to wash it again. I heard him sigh.

"Thank you, I needed that." He told me quietly as I gave him a smile.

We finished cleaning up the kitchen in a comfortable silence, heading over to the couch. Peeta added a few coals to the fire before he sat down, making the fire roar and hiss. I laid my head in his lap, curling my feet up on the cushion next to me as I laid my hands on my stomach, looking up at him. He smiled down at me, putting one hand on top of mine, and the other one in my messy hair.

"Peeta?" I asked quietly, looking up into his blue eyes. They shone down at me with so much love that I almost forgot what I wanted to say.

"Hmmm?" he replied, curling a strand of hair between his fingers.

"I've been thinking…" I started, unsure how to continue. I brought this up a little while ago, but I'm sure he hasn't forgotten.

"About?" he asked, caressing my hand with his thumb.

I hesitated. "About… children." I told him, and he instantly froze.

"You have?" He replied after a little silence. I had made him speechless, and I smiled beside myself.

"Yes." I breathed. "I know you want them more than anything. And because of that, so do I."

"Katniss…" he smiled, closing his eyes. When he opened them though, there was almost a hint of sadness or confusion.

"Don't say yes because you think that you owe me. I only want them if you want them too." He told me quietly.

I looked up into his eyes, the familiar ache staring back at me as I searched my feelings. Why was I afraid? Peeta and I would be doing it together. I wouldn't be alone. We would always be together. When I searched, I found this feeling in the depths of my heart that I couldn't explain, but it made me smile with longing. It was an ache, one that ripped through my heart when I acknowledged its presence, just like Peeta's, that had been hidden away. Children. It had been there all along, I just had to look for it.

I smiled up at him. "I want them." I beamed as I watched the smile grow across his face. "I want them so badly." I could hear the new ache in my voice, and now I knew how Peeta felt. The dull pain that was constantly inside, wanting to be relieved. How he managed to survive all this time was beyond me.

"You do?" He asked in disbelief.

I nodded as he breathed a sigh of relief. A relaxed look flowed across his face. He looked at peace. "I love you so much Katniss." He told me as I pulled myself up onto his lap, laying my forehead against his.

"Then stay with me." I smiled.

He smiled. "Always, sweetheart." He whispered as he picked me up gently, kissing my neck as he walked us both upstairs.

It was dark in our room, the wind howling and lashing against our house, but we didn't need to see. We went by feeling, the warmth that he gave off guided me to him. He set me down on the floor before kissing me gently, running his hands through my hair, curling it between his fingers. I sighed and tilted my head back as he kissed my jawbone and down my neck, the normal tingly sensation was returning. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing his mouth back to mine as a new wave of kisses erupted.

Shirts started to come off slowly, lifting them over our heads as we spent lots of time running light fingers over newly exposed areas, needing to feel each other. My skin felt on fire whenever Peeta's marvelous hands went, the air between us seeming to be electrified. My hands traced Peeta's muscles like always, all over his chest and down his arms, his broad shoulders and back. I was still amazed as I always was, spending time feeling them while he played with my hair, his rough hands twirling and braiding it. I whimpered quietly as he started to kiss my shoulder, and I had to remind myself to breathe.

Other clothes gradually started to be shed, being thrown into a messy pile on the floor where they would stay until the night's festivities were over. Clothing was only a barrier, something that needed to be eliminated before I could feel whole again.

He picked me up with a graceful ease, gently placing me on the bed as our fingers and lips traveled everywhere at once, needing each other's touch and warmth. I felt a certain fire and passion burning inside me, and I felt like I needed to have all of him at once. His hands, the hands that I adored, were caressing my whole body, his lips not far behind them and I shuddered and whimpered in response. I tried to steady my breathing, but the things he was doing with his marvelous hands only made it pick up.

"Peeta…" I sighed, the friction between us becoming g unbearable. I felt like I was burning, Peeta's warm skin coming in contact with mine and igniting another spark, another passion inside of me. I gasped as his hands traveled to my thighs, his lips on my collarbone. I sighed quietly, arching into him. The sensation was wonderful as I felt a rush of pleasure all the way to my fingers and toes.

"I love you Katniss." He murmured into my skin, his voice steady and strong. He was always so calm and gentle, while me on the other hand, I felt like I was going to burst, not being able to form sentences even if I wanted to.

"Peeta…" I breathed, my voice heavy with emotion. "Please Peeta." I begged, wrapping my arms around his neck, bringing myself closer to him. I needed him. I needed his touch and his lips, his fire and his heart.

He brought his lips back to mine as I wiped my tongue across his bottom lip when I felt him slowly press into me. I practically melted with pleasure, taking a gasp of air. The pain was gone, it had been for years, and left in its place was a mix of the most breathtaking feelings in the world. Being whole, being healed, and being loved more than anything else in the world.

We found our usual rhythm as our kisses became more hurried and more passionate, having to breathe in between every one or feeling like I could lose consciousness from pure love. 'Peeta' seemed to be the only distinguishable word I could make, and I breathed it over and over again, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible.

The familiar feeling of pure joy and love washed over me as I screamed Peeta's name loudly, clutching onto him as he whispered my name, holding onto me just as tightly, both of us peaking together. Pleasure was overriding our senses and I couldn't move, staying frozen in his arms as we waited until we could move our limbs again. I tried to steady my breathing, closing my eyes as Peeta rolled off of me and laid next to me, still keeping a firm grip on me. I never wanted to let him go. I was whole again, at least for a little while.

"Peeta, I love you." I whispered, my voice breaking with emotion. I buried my head into his bare chest as he laid his chin on top of my head.

He gave me a gentle kiss, drawing circles onto my bare back. "I love you too Katniss." He breathed.

I smiled as I listened to his heart, the soft pounding lulling me off to a calm, nightmare free sleep with a full heart. My love. My boy with the bread. My Peeta.


	4. Chapter 4

Note from Adillae: I'm spoiling you with all these chapter updates :D. Things will be changing soon though, since I'm scheduled at the diner practically all day for the next week, AND I'm starting school again next Tuesday. So, we'll see what happens.

Obviously I've never had a kid, so I don't know how a lot of this stuff works. I have three younger sisters and a brother that will be born in early April (I'M PRETTY EXICITED), so I've experienced babies, although not myself personally. Anyways, I did my best with it and I hope it's alright! I really tried my hardest, but people say you won't understand until you actually have one. I'll just believe them for now.

I should be speaking more English, so hopefully the grammar is getting better! Mostly I'm forgetting word order, but I've checked and double checked like always. Please review and tell me where I can improve! I've always loved feedback.

Vă mulţumim pentru lectură, şi bucuraţi-vă de poveste! :)

I smiled beside myself, both fear and excitement shooting through my veins. It had happened. It didn't take that long either. I exhaled, leaning back on the bed while I cleared my head. There was no turning back now.

I felt a strange sense of happiness that I never thought I'd feel. The ache in my eyes and my heart could finally be put to rest, and so could Peeta's. I flushed with excitement as I laid my hand on my stomach. There was a person inside, or at least something that would grow into a person soon. It was proof that Peeta and I loved each other so much that our extra love had spilled over and made a baby. I was scared, but happiness and excitement soon took over. I couldn't stop smiling.

Why had I been so afraid? Now that I knew what had happened, I can't imagine feeling any different than what I felt now: happy. My life was changed forever, but more importantly, so was Peeta's. He could finally get what he had always dreamed of; he could finally be truly happy. And when he was happy, so was I. I had to tell him.

"Peeta?" I asked, coming down the stairs, looking around for him. He was pulling bread out of the oven with a small smile on his face, humming a short tune to himself.

I smiled as I walked over to meet him, smelling the fresh bread that he had just placed on the countertop. He took some dill out of a dish he had laying beside the countertop and started to sprinkle it on the warm bread, pouring a slight bit of oil on top before sticking it in the oven again. I admired his graceful hands, taking care of every detail. He made everything with an imperfection beautiful.

It was a Sunday, and Peeta decided to take the day off. He worked too hard anyways. He needed a day to relax, even if all he did on his days off was bake. Sometimes he would even try to teach me how to make a simple roll or cake, and it would end so horribly wrong with our kitchen in a mess and a very ruined dessert, but smiled plastered on our faces, our laughter ringing through the house. But today, a day to relax probably meant a day with nothing to do… and that's when the nightmares come.

"Good morning darling." Peeta said sweetly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze. "I made cheese rolls." I heard him smile, gesturing to a cooling rack of rolls on the kitchen table.

I smiled back at him. "You're too nice to me." I told him as I grabbed one, ripping it in half and offering one to Peeta. He took it thankfully and we started to eat, staring out the window. The snow had accumulated so that there were a few inches on the ground, but was so cold outside that you practically froze once you stepped out the front door. Peeta already had coal blazing in the fireplace, keeping us nice and warm, bless his heart.

"What is your plan for the day sweetheart?" Peeta asked as he took another bite of his cheese roll.

"Oh, I don't know. I'll probably read a bit, go visit Haymitch, eat these delicious rolls." I laughed, taking another bite. They tasted as good as always, but even better since they were very fresh and of course made by Peeta's hands. "What about you?"

"I think I'll paint a bit." He told me quietly and I faintly smiled at him. He painted every time he had a free moment, which wasn't a lot lately. It helped him clear his mind, even more than baking did, and it was almost as therapeutic as our nightly love making.

"You should." I told him softly, tracing my fingers lightly down his arm.

"I think I will. Seeing Haymitch also sounds like a good idea, do you mind if I join you when you go?"

"No, of course not. I'm sure he will be glad to see you." I grinned. "What is in the oven now?" It smelled heavenly.

"Just some dill rolls. I thought they sounded good this morning." He told me, grabbing a pot holder and opening the oven, reaching inside to grab the golden brown rolls.

"Where did you get dill in the middle of winter?" I asked him curiously, leaning over to smell them.

"I got it from Haymitch when I went to visit him a few days ago. He has a pretty extensive herb garden he is growing in his kitchen, you know. I'm extremely jealous."

I tried not to laugh at the thought of Haymitch having an herb garden. I knew he was trying lots of new things since to keep him occupied, but some of them just sounded so unlike him.

"What is he going to take up next, knitting?" I laughed, poking fun. Having a little laugh at Haymitch's expense was always welcome.

"I wouldn't be surprised." Peeta laughed along with me, setting the slightly cool rolls on the kitchen table as he turned the oven off. He pulled the apron over his head, hanging it on the hook as he put the oven mitts back in the drawer.

"I'm going to go paint, promise me you'll be alright?" He asked softly, laying his hands on my waist.

I nodded, giving him a tender kiss as I felt him absentmindedly run a hand through my hair.

"I'll be just down the hall if you need me." He told me, squeezing my hand before he turned to go walk down the hallway.

I took another cheese roll as I went to the book shelf, grabbing the cookbook Greasy Sae left me. Sitting down on the couch, I opened up to a page that explained how to make pie. I'm sure Peeta likes pie. I should learn how to make him one someday.

The morning passed quietly, except for a nagging sensation in my head. I knew I had to tell Peeta, and I had to do it soon, but I wanted him to get some painting in before I sprung the news on him. He deserved a break, both creatively and physically. He worked too hard, but I knew why he did. It's the same reason I still hunt. We don't need to, we have enough to keep us happy for the rest of our lives, but we just needed to be busy. We needed things to do, and we had both found things that made us happy.

After I got tired of reading about pies and cakes, I wandered down the hallway to where Peeta was, slowly peeking my head around the corner.

I guess you could call it an art studio, but we didn't really have a name for it. It was the room where Peeta painted. The walls were filled from floor to ceiling with his art, and some of his bigger pieces were stacked against the wall. I could stay in here all day, looking at the beautiful paintings he made. The way he was able to convey emotion through art was breathtaking.

He mostly painted memories. He said it helped him cope and move on. Rue, Thresh, Foxface, Primrose, Finnick, his son and Greasy Sae's granddaughter stared back at me from their fixed spot on our wall, their eyes twinkling as if they were still alive. The colors he used were brilliant: bright red's, dark blues, pale yellows, grassy greens, deep purples, light pinks. They played off of each other well, making them give an almost angelic glow.

A few pictures of the games were hanging up as well, but he covered most of them, knowing how I didn't like to be reminded of those horrible times. They were painted from his point of view, and I felt like I was looking through his eyes when I saw them. I still don't know how he would willingly remember back to the mutts and the cornucopia as he would paint the gruesome scene out. He wouldn't show me that picture, but frankly, I didn't want to see it.

He stood with his back to me, a big canvas stretched out in front of him. He seemed so calm and relaxed, so focused on his painting that I stopped and just watched him for a while. He spread his brush strokes over the whole canvas, using a rich brown and a light peach.

I stood on my tiptoes as I tried to see what he was painting, and I let out a little gasp.

It was me.

It was the day we had been laying on the couch, my head resting in his lap, when I told him I was ready for a family.

It was from Peeta's point of view, my face and hair taking up most of the canvas room. I looked so calm and peaceful, my eyes sparkling. I blinked away a few tears as I continued to watch him work, his graceful hands tracing each stroke of hair with such ease. Changing colors, he moved to my face, creating each individual freckle in a manner that suggested he knew the exact location of every one.

"Peeta, it's stunning." I whispered after watching him for quite some time. He turned around and smiled at me, gesturing for me to come over.

I slowly walked forward, now being able to see the whole painting. It was wonderful, although he made me look ten times better than I normally do.

"I never wanted to forget how beautiful you looked at that moment. The way your hair was laying, your freckles shining even in the darkness, the twinkle and happiness in your eyes, the love in your smile." He listed off quietly, sliding an arm around my waist. "Now I can always remember. It's not done, of course."

"I think it's perfect." I told him, sniffing quietly.

I closed my eyes; afraid that tears would spill over if I kept them open any longer, pressing my forehead against his cheek. Love seemed to be pumping through my veins, making me tingly and warm. I could almost feel his loving radiating off of him as I squeezed my eyes tighter, keeping the tears at bay.

"I love you, Peeta." I whispered, kissing his jawbone.

"I love you too, Katniss." He breathed, rubbing his hand up and down my arm, making me shiver slightly with goose bumps.

We stood in each other's arms for a while and looked at the painting, wanting to drink in all of it. I was still amazed by the way he was able to literally show the love in my eyes. I could practically see it staring back at me.

"Peeta?" I asked quietly after a long silence, finally tearing my eyes away from the painting to look up at him.

"Yes Katniss?" he answered, looking down at me.

I opened my mouth and froze. Do I just say it? Do I just blurt it out and tell him? I felt fear slide down my throat, hitting like a brick in my stomach.

"I-I… um, w-we…" I started nervously, looking into his eyes, trying to not think and just feel.

"Are you alright?" he asked, turning to face me, placing his hands on my hips, eyes starting to fill with concern.

"Yes…" I managed to breathe out, telling myself not to shake. "I'm amazing, actually."

Peeta looked at me, and I could tell that he knew something was up. I don't think he knew just how big of a something it was, but he knew I was acting strange. "I'm glad you're amazing." He smiled, kissing my forehead, waiting for me to go on.

"Peeta…" I breathed, and the room got so quiet that I thought the world had stopped spinning. The only noise seemed to be coming from the wind outside as it howled and picked up, thrashing against the window. Peeta was watching me carefully, still not sure of what was going on, but I smile reassuringly at him. "Something wonderful has happened." I whispered, proud that I could actually form words.

He had a faint smile on his lips. "Like what?"

I sighed. Just tell him. Just say it. "I, well, w-we… we are having a baby." I finished quietly.

"We're what?" he whispered in disbelief. I chanced a look into his eyes and found them out of focus.

"We're having a baby." I repeated as a smile slowly spread across his face, blinking his eyes back into focus and looking down at me. His shining blue eyes were dazzling, and I told myself I'd never forget this moment.

"We're having a baby!" He suddenly shouted as if he just understood what my words meant, grabbing me and pulling me into a tight hug, lifting me up and spinning me around once. I laughed at his enthusiasm, my heart was about to burst with happiness. He set me back on the ground carefully before he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. I thought he was never going to let go, and I was fine with that idea. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him fiercely, wishing this moment would never end.

"When? How? How do you know? Are you sure? When are you due?" Moving his forehead to mine as he rambled, spewing out questions left and right before he suddenly let me go, worry filling his eyes. "I'm so sorry, am I hurting you?"

I smiled at him, shaking my head. "No Peeta, I'm fine." I assured him before he wrapped me in his arms again. He was so thoughtful and selfless. After all these years, I still didn't deserve him.

"How?" Peeta asked, pulling away so that he could look at my face.

I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks as I answered. "You know very well _how_, I didn't do it by myself, did I?"

Peeta laughed at this, a huge smile on his face. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly as I nodded. His smile was contagious, and I couldn't help myself. I found myself beaming just about as big as he was.

"When?" he asked, cupping my face in his hands.

"Early September." I replied breathlessly, leaning in to give him a kiss that I needed. I needed his lips; I needed his touch and his taste. I lifted myself onto my tip toes, bringing us closer together as he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?" He asked, pulling away, concern filling his voice.

"I'm sure." I replied, touched by his thoughtfulness.

"Katniss, I'm so happy. You've made me so incredibly happy." He smiled, and I had to tell myself to hold back my tears.

"I love you Peeta." I whispered as he kissed me tenderly.

"I love you, Katniss." He told me softly before bending over and pressing his lips against my stomach. "And I love you, baby."

A tear leaked out of my eye as I smiled at him, thankful to have the most wonderful man in the world. My heart was the happiest it had ever been, and Peeta's eyes were sparkling so brightly that I had to kiss him at least one more time, bringing my arms up around his neck. I pulled him close to me as he held me close, pulling away slowly and placing a hand on my stomach, his face in pure awe.

"Haymitch!" He shouted suddenly, beaming as he grabbed my hand, leading me down the hallway and pulling me out of the door, running over to the next house, Haymitch's house, and pounding on his door. Thankfully I had shoes on, since the snow was a few inches deep by now, the wind howling. Peeta didn't seem to feel it as he stood there, happiness threatening to take over him.

"Haymitch, open up!" he yelled, pounding on the door again but it opened suddenly.

"What the hell—" Haymitch bellowed, a confused look on his face. He relaxed slightly once he saw the two of us were alright and that we were both smiling.

"WE'RE GOING TO BE PARENTS!" Peeta shouted at him, the biggest smile on his face as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

Haymitch slowly smiled, almost smirking at us as he gave a good-hearted laugh. "It's about time! I've been waiting forever!" He grinned, walking up to Peeta and patting him on the back. "See, I knew you had it in ya, kid! Come inside, come inside!" Haymitch smiled as he stepped out of the way, Peeta and I making our way inside and to the kitchen.

"Congratulations you two!" he laughed, going over to the stove and putting on some hot water, passing his herb garden along the way. He knew my weakness for peppermint tea and usually was pretty well stocked since I came to visit him quite often. "When is the bouncing bundle of joy going to join us?"

I smiled at him. Only Haymitch could put it like that. "Sometime in early September." I replied as Peeta pulled out my chair for me. I gratefully smiled at him and sat down as he did the same, scooting over to hold my hand. I still got chills at his warm touch.

"Oh man, I can't wait to teach them all of my knowledge—"

"If you mean drinking games, I am telling you right now that I don't approve." Peeta laughed, but it was drowned out by Haymitch's loud bellow.

"Even I will wait until they're old enough. Your kid will know how to wield a sword before it can walk if I have anything to say about it!"

"That's it." I started as Haymitch went to go take the kettle off of the fire, grabbing three mugs on his way. "Our child is never coming over here unattended." I giggled, watching Haymitch pour the boiling water into our mugs, placing a tea bag into each and carrying them over to the table.

I grabbed one, placing it in front of Peeta before grabbing one for myself, taking a sip as Haymitch laughed. "I kid, I kid. You know I would never do that." He smiled, taking a long gulp of tea.

I smiled at him, playing with the bobbing tea bag.

"Hey, honestly, I'm happy for you two. I know you've waited for a long time, but it will be worth it. I promise." He told us, a gentle smile on his face, and I knew he meant it.

Peeta and I stayed and chatted for the remainder of the afternoon. Peeta was so excited to talk about the baby, and Haymitch was surprisingly willing to discuss everything with him. I just sat back and listened, drinking my peppermint tea and making comments where I thought my input was needed. When Haymitch brought up the idea of him knitting some baby hats, apparently a hobby he had recently taken up, it took all I had not to laugh. I glanced at Peeta, noticing that he was trying to pass his laughter of as coughing. We caught each other's eye and looked away quickly, trying not to giggle. I took a sip of tea as I pushed the mental image of Haymitch knitting a yellow blanket out of my mind.

We said our goodbyes just as the sun was starting to set, making the sky a light pink. Hand in hand, Peeta and I walked the few meters to our house, pushing in the front door and settling in on our couch. He wrapped his arms around me as I snuggled into his chest, breathing his warm scent in. Today had truly been a wonderful day. Much better than what I thought it would be when I woke up this morning.

Peeta soon loosened his grip, moving his head down and gently resting his head on my flat stomach. I smiled at his gesture, truly understanding just how excited and happy he was.

"There really isn't a whole lot to see or hear right now, Peeta." I giggled, laying my hand on his head, running my fingers through his hair. "Nothing important is there yet."

He shook his head, disagreeing. "It is important. It's everything." He breathed.

I let a tear slide down my eye and onto my cheek as I smiled. Words cannot describe how much I love him, how much he means to me, how much the little things he says mean to me. He would never know how much I depend on him.

My sweetheart. My boy with the bread. My Peeta. And now our baby.


	5. Chapter 5

**Note from Adillae: Hello everyone! It's been a few days since I've updated and I'm sorry about that. I've been put on double shifts at the diner all week. And it's busier since the normal interstate is flooded, so we have about triple the amount of people that we usually have since all the truckers have been rerouted. On top of that, my littlest sister Aekley is sick with the stomach flu, my half sister just had a baby and is coming to stay with us for a few days, and my mother is having false contractions… so needless to say it's been an interesting few days! (In the last update I said she was due in April, but I meant February. I get months mixed up a lot.) I know you don't care about all that stuff but I felt like I needed an explanation on why my update was late! Hopefully things will calm down, but I found some extra time and some internet, so here's the next update! **

**This time I went into Peeta's point of view instead of Katniss, just to try. He is such a deep character and I found it kinda tricky to write. I hope I did him justice! Please review and tell me what I need to work on!**

**The English is getting better, but again I apologize for any mistakes!**

**I hope everyone is well and having a wonderful new year that is filled with happiness! Enjoy!**

**Sper că toată lumea este bine sa avand un an minunat, care este umplut cu fericire! Se bucura!**

"Katniss!" I shouted hoarsely, jumping over wounded mutts and people that filled the Capitol streets. I felt like my feet wouldn't move fast enough, my voice wasn't any louder than a faint whisper. I tried to dodge the crowds as I ran, wanting to get to her and tell her to come back, to not try to assassinate Snow. I could come with her, help her.

"Katniss!" my voice barely made a sound as an explosion shattered the cobblestone streets, shaking the foundation of the building as people collapsed on the floor. The force threw me down on the ground as I hurriedly got up, craning my neck to look for Katniss. She was lying on the ground in a pool of blood, surrounded by wounded adults and children. She wasn't moving.

I couldn't find my voice, but the ground started to shake like there was an earthquake as I tried to get up, tried to get to her and save her.

"Katniss!" I whispered, trying to scream. "Katniss!"

I gasped quietly as my eyes flew open, darkness complete surrounding me. I couldn't see anything, but I felt a warm presence beside me, and it's chest was rising and falling peacefully. Relief washed through me as I smiled, closing my eyes. She was okay. She was safe. Nothing was wrong. She's alright Peeta; there is nothing to worry about. She is right here beside you. I sighed as I readjusted myself slightly, opening my eyes to look down at her.

I wasn't excepting to see her eyes shining back at me, concern etched onto her face. Her hair was free and messy, and she looked exhausted, like she hadn't slept all night. I gave her a faint smile, hoping she would return it, but she didn't.

"I tried to wake you, but no matter how hard I shook you, you wouldn't wake up." She told me quietly, laying her head on my chest, scooting herself as close to me as she could, her growing belly somewhat getting in the way. "You sounded so desperate, like you were in pain. All you said was my name. Katniss. Just Katniss." She whispered as I felt a few drops of tears land on my arm.

"I'm fine now. You're here." I told her, wrapping my arm around her, needing her touch, needing to be close to her. I didn't want to worry her; I didn't want her to be bothered with what troubled me. The nightmares didn't bother me as much as they did Katniss. She struggled with them nightly and didn't like to see me fight them either. She was so caring that she often saw other people's problems as her own. She had always been so loving that whatever bothered me bothered her, no matter how much I would tell her not to worry. I didn't deserve her.

The nightmares were horrible for the second that I thought they were true, but once I realized that she was next to me, the fear passed. Having her here was all that mattered anymore. "I didn't wake you did I? With my shouting?"

I felt her shake her head, pulling away to look me in the eyes. "You weren't shouting. You were whispering, murmuring. Like you were in pain and that's almost worse than not screaming at all." She breathed, bringing her forehead up to lay against mine.

I kissed her gently, her soft lips washing away the fear that remained in my body. "I'm alright now." I whispered. "Have you slept at all?"

She shook her head again. "I'm uncomfortable," she started, gesturing to her growing stomach and turning around to resituate herself, her back facing me, "and I was worried about you."

"You shouldn't worry about me. I'm alright once I know you're here." I reminded her, nuzzling my head into her hair. "Is there anything I can help you with?" I asked, wanting her to be able to sleep.

"No, I'm okay. I'll find a comfy spot eventually." She told me, stretching her legs.

I was in awe. Katniss was amazing. There was no other way to put it. She is the most fantastic, most wonderful person I know. She had endured so much already, and I know she didn't enjoy being pregnant. I could tell she was exhausted; I could tell she was uncomfortable and in pain most of the time. I could tell that she was trying to be positive, even though it was difficult for her. I knew she was stressed and just wanted it to be over. And I also knew she was trying to cover it up because I wanted children so badly.

I admired her strength and perseverance. I wished that I could take all the pain for her so she could be comfortable and happy. I owed her that much; she _deserved_ that much. She was so strong and was figuring out how to work through things. She still had her good and bad days, just like anybody, but she never complained. Never once did she complain about anything. And sure, she got upset with me sometimes and launched every single pillow we owned at me, but she was doing something that she promised she'd never do. And she was doing it for me, for us.

She always said she could never have a relationship that would lead to kids. She had been saying that since the end of our first games. And to be honest, if she hadn't changed her mind, I would've still been happy. I would have her, and that's all I need. Of course I would've always wanted them deep down in my heart, but I know how big of a step this is for her and would've waited forever if it had taken that long. She had slowly changed her mind, and look where it led us. Here and now, and soon we would have a baby of our own.

Even during her bad days, I loved her more than I could even possibly begin to describe. I tried to help her as much as I could, whether that meant giving her space or comforting her when she was upset because I didn't fold the clothes correctly, or the dishes weren't put away, or things didn't go as planned. Her emotions could change at the drop of a hat, but I knew she didn't mean half the things she told me. I knew that it wasn't easy.

I knew that underneath it all she was excited. I know she knew that there was a goal in the end; we just had to get there, even if the mood swings were a road block that seemed to wash all of the happiness out of her sometimes. She had told me that it was worth it, and she was thrilled. Hearing that made me the happiest person in the entire world.

I heard her sigh. "The baby keeps kicking." She somewhat grumbled, laying a hand on her stomach as if telling it to settle in for the night. "I think it's dancing." She laughed.

I reached my hand over, laying it below hers and I instantly felt it. It was like a drum, gently kicking every few moments. I would never ever get tired of this feeling. It was the best feeling in the world. I never wanted to stop feeling it, stop listening for it. I couldn't begin to hide my smile when I felt it, something that Katniss and I made together. We were bringing a new life into the world, just because we love each other. Feeling the kicking made everything seem so much more real. It was happening; it wasn't just an idea that soon we will have a baby. It was a confirmation that we were getting closer.

"Of course it's dancing!" I laughed with her. "Our baby will be the best dancer in the world! Naturally it will be best at everything."

"Why, because it's ours?" she giggled.

"Because it's half yours." I whispered, kissing her shoulder. I felt her shiver in response as she turned around, facing me again. She smiled faintly, laying her hand gently on my cheek. It was warm and small; her skin was so smooth against the rough stubble on my chin.

"I love you." She breathed, closing her eyes, sliding her hand down lightly to my chest, over my heart.

"I love you too." I whispered, running a hand through her hair. "Get some sleep." I told her gently.

I stroked her hair until I heard the steady deep breathing that meant she was asleep, her face peaceful and her body calm.

I smiled at her sleeping body, hair slightly ruffled, pajamas somewhat worked up over her belly so that a strip of her soft pink skin was showing, dark eyelashes resting on her cheeks, freckles noticeable even in the darkness. My Katniss. I was so lucky. I am lucky.

I must've fallen back asleep pretty soon after that, since it was early morning when I awoke. My arms were empty and cold as I stretched, feeling nothing but a bed without Katniss. I heard some moving downstairs and figured she must be already up.

I quickly got dressed and made the bed, knowing how she would like it, and headed down the stairs where there was a big crash of pots and pans. I peeked around the corner and smiled.

Katniss was standing in front of the counter, a focused look on her face. Her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, her shirt was just barely covering her stomach, her feet were bare and she looked absolutely beautiful. She mumbled something to herself before she went to the cabinet, stretching up on her tip-toes to reach the jar of flour. I think I fell in love with her all over again. Everything about her just made me crazy.

She opened the jar of flour, creating a big flour cloud that covered most of her face. Coughing and sputtering, she waved her hands around her face, the flour finally settling on her stomach and on the ground around her. She measured out the flour messily, reading and rereading the directions before she put it in a separate bowl. It seemed like her butter, sugar and eggs were already mixed up, since there were traces of the white crystalline and eggshells all over the floor and counter.

I couldn't stop smiling as I finally walked through the living room and into the kitchen. It looked like a war zone. On top of the flour, sugar and eggshells everywhere, there was brown sugar, vanilla, baking soda, chocolate powder, butter and powdered sugar all over the floor, counters, and table. Every available space it seemed like was covered. I tried not to laugh at how cute it was.

"Hello sweetheart." I said, walking over to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She smiled up at me, her finger holding her place in her recipe. "What are you up to this morning?"

"I'm making a cake." She beamed proudly, obviously looking at the mess as an accomplishment.

"I can see that, it looks like it's going well." I smiled back at her.

"It is! But you have to go now, I want to do it all by myself." She said matter-of-factly.

"Alright, I'll go paint then. Come get me if you need anything." I told her, giving her a kiss on the forehead and on the stomach before walking down the hallway.

Painting was how I dealt with things. The tracker jackers, the games, the pain, everything. Once I painted it, it's like all the bad memories left my mind, leaving the happy ones. It was like cleansing my soul. Baking was also helpful, but sometimes I just needed a brush to do the job.

The room I painted in was filled floor to ceiling with paintings. I usually kept the ones of the bad memories stacked face down in the corner; Katniss didn't like to see them and frankly I didn't like to have her remember those times. She saw them all too frequently in her dreams, I didn't need to remind her when she was awake. Instead, pictures of Katniss, Prim, Rue, Thresh, Haymitch, Effie, Finnick, Annie and their son filled the walls. Other than Katniss, my favorite person to paint was Greasy Sae's granddaughter. She had such an aura about her, something that attracted me to her like a magnet. We had such a strong connection, and I craved our daily play dates. She filled a certain void where no one else could.

Katniss was so easy to paint. She was like a book, although it was sometimes tricky to read and I don't think she knew it. Her eyes gave away her emotions, but you had to look closely and know her as well as I did to understand them. Her smile could convey so much love that it gave me chills just thinking about it. Her eyes, even though they were a dark grey, could sparkle so brightly sometimes I couldn't even describe it. The way her hair would flow over her shoulders when she let it free was breathtaking. I couldn't paint her enough times it felt like.

I already had one painting started, and I never liked to have more than one half-finished picture. It was a picture of Rue, looking so innocent and quietly happy, just like she was when we saw her in training. Her face was so easy to paint; it was so delicate and small. She deserved another portrait, she helped keep Katniss safe and I will owe her for as long as I live.

I painted each hair, curling it like a corkscrew, just like I remembered, when I heard Katniss start to sing from the kitchen. Everything else was still, even the birds, just like always. Her graceful voice drifted through the house and out the window, where there must have been a Mockingjay waiting to repeat it. Sure enough, the bird picked it up with ease and started to sing, and I heard her soft laughter.

I set my brush down in a glad of water before I got up quietly, following the music down the hallway and into the kitchen. The window was open and the bird was sitting on the sill, the two of them going back and forth. I leaned on the archway to the kitchen and crossed my arms, smiling, listening. I could listen all day. Katniss placed a hand on her stomach as she sang and my heart couldn't help but flutter a bit. I don't care how un-manly it was, I'm not afraid to say what she does to me.

She turned around suddenly as if sensing my presence and grinned, both hands on her stomach now. I loved how she looked pregnant. She had a certain glow about her that I couldn't describe or paint. She was as beautiful as ever to me—even more it seemed now that she had her growing belly.

"The baby stops kicking when I sing." She told me quietly, walking through the mess to the oven, opening the door and pulling out the cake.

"Even it stops and listens." I smiled, walking over to meet her. "Some things never change."

She returned my smile faintly as she set the cake on the counter. It was incredibly lumpy, uneven and oddly colored, but she seemed over the moon about it.

"It looks wonderful!" I smiled, taking a whiff. It actually smelled quite good.

She stared at it, her face changing from happiness to disappointment. "It looks horrible." She told me quietly, as if suddenly realizing what state the kitchen was in and what she had made. She turned her face away from mine and I could hear her start to sniff as she took a few steps over by the sink.

"No it doesn't." I told her, walking over behind her, wrapping my arms around her large waist. "It's the best cake you've ever made." I said honestly.

She pulled out of my arms, walking over in front of the table. "Stop lying to me, you're always lying to me!" she shouted, crossing her arms over her stomach. She swept her hand across the surface of the table in frustration, eggshells and sugar raining down on the floor.

I knew where this was headed. She was getting closer and closer to the couch, and I'm almost positive I would have a thousand pillow launched in my direction sometime soon. When she got like this, it was best to just let her shout it out; I knew she didn't mean any of it. It was just hormones.

"See! You don't even try to tell me it's not true!" She yelled, tears running down her face by now as she walked over in front of the couch.

"Katniss—" I started, right as a square pillow hit me full force, right in the chest.

"Don't you 'Katniss' me!" she cried, hurling another two pillows at me. I didn't try to dodge them. I let her take out her frustrations. Plus, they were only pillows. Now if she started getting arrows out then I would have a slight disadvantage. "You're always—" another pillow, right in the shoulder "—lying" a fifth pillow, in the knee "to me!" a sixth one went soaring over my head into the mess of the kitchen, making a loud clang. Why we had so many pillows, I don't know.

"You're always lying to me! It started way back in the games, and it hasn't stopped! I'm such an idiot for believing them! You don't have the guts to tell me the truth! Like how you still think I'm a mutt! You're so stupid for believing all of those, so stupid for lying to me and telling me you don't! Just because you believe lies, all those Capitol lies that turned you against me, it doesn't mean I will!" she shouted.

A few more pillows were thrown in the air before she stopped, tears streaming down her face, breathing heavily from shouting and sobbing. Then, slowly, she seemed to realize what she said. The tears came out faster as shame and guilt flooded her eyes, and she backed up a couple steps, a hand clamped over her mouth.

My heart broke as I watched her, tiny and frail, sobbing loudly. The shame in her eyes was burning like a fire as she shook her head slowly. I knew she didn't mean it, she just said without thinking. It is when she does her best work.

"Katniss…" I started, stepping over the pillows that surrounded me, trying to get to her. She backed up against the wall and slid down to the floor, covering her face as she cried loudly. I bent over and heaved her up by the arms, pulling her close to me. She fought me, pushing and shoving me away and eventually broke free; the look in her swollen, red eyes was heartbreaking.

"I'm s-sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm a h-horrible p-person for saying-g those things about y-you." She whimpered, struggling to form words. She hiccupped once as I tried to hold her close, but again she resisted.

"Stop it, I don't d-deserve your love, not a-after what-t I've s-said-d." She whispered.

"Katniss…" I started again, voice breaking. "Don't be so hard on yourself." I told her quietly. "I know you didn't mean it."

I approached her again, this time having a tight grip on her as she tried to break free, but she eventually broke down, clinging to me and sobbing into my chest. I stroked her hair, wanting to make everything better, wanting to calm her down and make her happy.

I shushed her, holding her head close to me, pulling out her loose ponytail and running my fingers through her hair. She kept mumbling things into my chest but I couldn't understand them. I felt her pain, I felt everything that she did, and I wanted to make it all go away.

"Peeta…" she started quietly, sniffing loudly and looking up into my eyes. Hers held so much pain, so much guilt, and they were so red there wasn't any white left in her eyes. She had stopped crying and seemed to be all out of tears for the moment. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it." She breathed.

"I know." I replied, tucking her hair behind her ear as she squinted her eyes, tears leaking out quickly again. I wiped them away quickly, holding her face in my hands. "What's the matter?" I asked her softly.

"Why are you so nice to me?" She questioned simply. "You are only trying to help, you have done absolutely nothing wrong, but I still yell at you, shout at you, call you a liar, say terrible things about you that were beyond your control, and yet you still offer me your love and comfort like nothing has happened!" The pain in her eyes was so sharp that I could feel my heart breaking.

"Because I love you." I told her. It was that simple.

She sniffed again. "Really, you love me? After everything I've done, after everything I've said, you still love me."

"Of course I do." I told her. Did she not know? Did she not understand? "I haven't stopped loving you since that day at school, when you were in that red dress of yours. Do you think a few silly comments that I know you didn't mean are going to change anything?" I smiled, wiping a stray tear off her cheek.

"Peeta…" she cried, her voice was a little higher pitched than usual. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you at all, and especially when I'm like this. You don't deserve to be talked to like that."

I hated when she said things like this. I hated when she thought she didn't deserve me. I hated how she thought she wasn't worthy of me, or that she wasn't a valuable person in my life. She made me the happiest person in the world, and I would be absolutely nothing without her. The way her laughter could light up the room, the way her smile could melt my heart, the way her eyes could say so much, the way her hair flowed over her shoulders, the way that she kissed me, the way that she loved me. It broke my heart to hear that she didn't think she was good enough for me. If anything, I didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve her smiles, her laughter, her eyes, her hair, her love or her gentle personality. I have never stopped owing her.

"Don't say things like that Katniss, they're not true. I want to help you." I whispered as she looked up at me.

She sniffed once before pressing her lips against mine. Her cheeks were wet and the kiss was salty, but I slid my arms around her waist tighter, holding her close to me.

"I'm so sorry." She cried between kisses, making the kiss even saltier as I gently led her over to the couch, still having a strong hold on her. I stroked her hair as she quietly mumbled apologies, tears still rolling down her face. Eventually, her breathing became deep and slow. She was finally able to relax and be calm for a while, and for that I was grateful.

We stayed there together on the couch for the rest of the day, Katniss sleeping off her exhaustion, tears, guilt and sadness. She already had so much on her mind, and I didn't want anything else to get in her way like this argument, if you could even call it one. She just needed to rest for a while. She deserved a break. I held her in my arms, still stroking her hair, just listening to her breathing and feeling the baby move around.

She stirred awake at about five in the afternoon, her eyes fluttering open and looking sadly up at me. They were still red.

"Hi sweetheart." I smiled at her, running my fingers down her arm.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta—" she started, but I cut her off.

"Shhhh, Katniss, it doesn't matter alright." I told her, wanting her to know that I didn't care about what she had said. It didn't mean anything to me, none of it did.

"I love you." She whispered tearfully, sniffing again. She cried so much today that she would probably have a runny nose for the rest of the day, even if she did sleep for half of it. "I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too." I replied.

"Can we go have cake now?" she asked after a short silence, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Of course." I smiled, helping her up off the couch.

I was so lucky to have her. My sweetheart. My Katniss.


	6. Chapter 6

**Note from Adillae: Hello everyone! I originally didn't have another update planned for a while, but my little brother decided that he was going to make an early appearance which means that I am currently in a wi-fi hotspot at the local hospital. Nothing too exciting is happening at this moment, but we are just waiting until he decides he is ready for this unfair world out here. So, there might be a few updates tomorrow or later tonight, depending on what happens. I've been hanging out on this couch with Raspberry Iced Tea and Pandora radio for the whole day as I write. It has been quite lovely, and I have lots of chapters written! It's been very productive. Of course, once he is born, I don't know how much time I'll have. But I'll figure that out later because I know you don't care and I'm rambling.**

**It's kinda weird writing this stuff when my mother is on the floor above me practically in labor, but I'm getting over it. We're back to Katniss' point of view for the moment, but I'll be up all night waiting, so who knows what will happen with future chapters. **

**Again with the usual: Sorry for the English, I don't own anything. Please enjoy and review; tell me what I need to work on! **

**I hope everyone is having a lovely day and that you will have an incredible rest of this week! **

**Sper că toată lumea are o zi extraordinara si vei avea un incredibilă de restul în această săptămână!**

Peeta licked his lips and it almost made me die right there at the table. The sparkle in his eyes was going to make me lose it. Blood was pumping through me so fast it made a whizzing sound in my ears. I had to tell myself to focus on the conversation that Haymitch and him were having over dinner, but it was harder than I thought. Just when I thought I had calmed down, his foot bumped mine under the table and electricity shot up my leg, making me jump slightly. Just breathe.

"So, it's getting closer to September!" Haymitch sang, tearing off a bit of bread and using it to soak up the remanding soup in his bowl. "Are you guys getting excited?"

Peeta and I nodded simultaneously, smiles on our faces. He reached over and grabbed my hand as I froze, tingles spreading over my arm as my heart started to race. Calm down, Katniss. You can't screw him on the kitchen table with Haymitch right here. At least have the decency to wait until he is gone.

"And things are going well, I'm guessing? I haven't heard anything." Haymitch commented, mouth full of bread.

"Things are going very well. The baby is kicking more and more each day…" Peeta continued the conversation while I just stared at his lips, losing track of what was being said, feeling my cheeks get warm. I felt his hand slowly move lightly to my knee, lying there like always. This time though, the tingles went up my spine as I shivered slightly. I gasped quietly, trying to focus. Peeta didn't seem to understand what he was doing to me.

"Katniss, are you alright?" He asked me quietly, leaning in just a bit closer to my face. He smelled like cinnamon, and it literally took every ounce of strength I had in my body not to kiss him.

All I could do was nod. I was too afraid to speak, fearing that if I did, some wildly inappropriate phrase, like 'Take me on the table right now' would come out of my mouth.

I picked up my glass of water and took a sip, just for something to do that didn't involve Peeta's lips or hands or any other body part of his. The cool water refreshed my dry mouth and made things a little better, although I was still very aware of him, his every movement seemed to direct a jolt of electricity to my body.

"Well, I better go. I have to feed the geese. Do you need any help cleaning up?" Haymitch asked as Peeta shook his head.

"No, we got it, but thank you." He replied, getting up out of his seat and scooting out mine. Haymitch loudly scratched his chair across the floor and slammed it into the table, burping loudly and taking a small sip of alcohol.

He was doing better about the drinking, but you can't blame him for wanting some around dinnertime. We no longer had to go over in the mornings with a bucket of water. He was finding new hobbies and that seemed to be working for him. His herb garden was flourishing, his geese were healthy, his candles smelled wonderful, and he had made us enough baby blankets and hats to clothe thousands.

"Thanks for having me over, it's so nice to see how everything is going over here. Sometimes the breakfast visits aren't enough." Haymitch smiled, and I could tell that we meant a lot to him. Before the games, it was just him living in his big house all alone, alcohol was his only friend. Now though, he has the two of us to take care of him, and a baby who would bring joy to his life again. I never thought I would actually come to enjoy his company and savor his opinions. How life has changed. I smiled at him, distracted from Peeta enough to say a few words.

"You know you're welcome anytime." I told him, giving him a hug, or at least as much as one as my stomach would allow. He returned it gratefully.

"Thanks for stopping by." Peeta said, giving him a hug too, swinging open the front door. Peeta was so close to me that I could feel the heat coming off his body, and I let out a little whimper of sorts that no one seemed to notice, thankfully. I just had to wait until he shut the door. Practice some self control Katniss, come on.

"See you all tomorrow." Haymitch smiled, waving as he walked out into the warm night air. Peeta watched him walk the few meters over to the house, making sure he opened the door and got in safely before slowly shutting the big door with a loud bang and locking it tightly.

I practically jumped him the second her turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, pressing my lips to his. He seemed thoroughly surprised, but quickly wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me back just as fiercely. A fire was starting, his warm skin touching mine was just adding the necessary spark. I breathed in his smell, savoring his taste and wanting this to last forever.

"Katniss" he laughed, trying to speak as I pulled his head back to mine. I didn't want to talk. We had talked all through dinner and I was done with the idea. I continued to kiss him, and he eventually stopped trying to ask me what was going on. He didn't seem too disappointed, however.

"Stop talking Peeta." I told him, smiling, bringing his lips back to mine. "All I could think about during the whole dinner was kissing you. You drove me crazy." I breathed, needing more of his kisses, his soft lips sending tingles of pleasure all over my body. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, my breathing speeding up so quickly I was soon dizzy from no oxygen. Passion was pumping through my veins, making me feel warm and tingly.

Peeta trailed his kisses across my cheek, down my neck and across my shoulder, making me shiver somewhat uncontrollably. I don't know what was wrong with me; I had never really felt this way before. Well, I had, just not with this much… power. I needed him, I needed him terribly, and I felt like if I didn't get him soon, I was going to explode.

Peeta, like always, wanted to take his sweet time with everything, and if it was any other night but tonight I would've been all for it. Tonight, however, I didn't have time. I needed him now. I looked into his eyes and he seemed to feel my urgency, giving me a slow kiss that nearly killed me before speeding up to my level.

Clothes were being ripped off each other in record time and discarded onto the living room floor. Blood was rushing in my ears, making a whirring sound, drowning out all common sense. He held me closely, kissing my shoulder as I ran a few light fingers over the muscles of his arms. They seemed to be more defined than usual, and I figured it was probably from carrying me and my belly up the stairs all the time. I couldn't help but giggle a little.

"What?" he breathed into the bare skin of my shoulder. I could feel his smile, his warm breath tickling me and making goose bumps erupt all down my arm, making me shiver once.

"Nothing." I laughed, grinning as he laughed with me before returning his lips to mine, both of us smiling our way through the next set of slower kisses. He ran his hand through my hair, curling it between his fingers as I continued to run my hands over the hills and valleys of his arms.

"Peeta…" I groaned impatiently as his lips brushed across my collarbone. I felt flushed and warm, tingly and on fire. When his skin brushed against mine, I felt a jolt of electricity and pleasure that only made me want him more. I whimpered as he slid his tongue across my bottom lip, like he was asking for permission. Even after all these years, he was still such a gentleman.

Lifting me up like I weighed nothing, he carried me across the room and up the stairs, into our dark bedroom. I'm sure he would've continued on the couch if it wasn't for my growing belly, and I wouldn't have had any problem. But yet again, he was putting me and my comfort in front of him. I don't deserve my boy with the bread.

He laid me gently on the bed before pressing his lips everywhere. I gasped; the hormones in my very pregnant body making me extra sensitive, and making everything feel ten times as good. His hands soon followed after his lips as I gasped quietly.

"I love you Katniss." He murmured everywhere, his warm breath making me shudder with anticipation.

"Peeta, I love you." I practically cried, feeling so warm and tingly that I could explode at any moment. The things he was doing with his hands made me cry out in pure bliss. His lips combined with his hands almost put me over the edge as I tried to calm myself down. I couldn't wait any longer; I don't care about how much he wanted to please me first. His lips returned to mine as if he could hear what I was thinking and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

"Peeta, please…"I begged breathlessly, and he answered my wishes almost immediately. I felt him push into me as pleasure shot through my veins like electricity, making me gasp reflexively. My heart was beating out of my chest; my breathing was irregular and came in gasps as we found our usual slow rhythm. My brain was fuzzy and I couldn't think straight even if I wanted to. The only words I could form were 'Peeta' and 'I love you'. But those were the only ones I needed. I clutched him close, as close as he could get, my body seemed to be numb from the pleasure.

"Peeta!" I eventually screamed so loudly that I was almost sure Haymitch could hear us. If he did, he was probably having a good laugh about it. My body seemed to lose consciousness, pleasure completely washing over me as I cried Peeta's name over and over as he whispered mine. We held each other, both frozen in time and feeling completely whole before Peeta fell into bed next to me, both of us breathing heavily.

"I feel so much better now." I smiled, gasping for air every few words.

He laughed slightly, turning his head to look at me. "You were holding that in the whole time?"

I giggled with him, reaching a hand up to run through my hair. "Trust me; it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

"I'd imagine." He chuckled as I scooted over to him, laying my head on his chest. His strong arms wrapped around me in a matter of seconds as we settled in for the night. I felt whole, happy and complete again, the way that only Peeta could. I wanted to stay up with him, just being held by him in the quiet, but his voice rumbled in my head.

"Get some sleep, Katniss." He told me, his voice amplified in my ear that was pressed to his chest.

I soon lost the battle and fell asleep quickly in his arms, the bad dreams thankfully staying at bay for the time being. I felt an uneasy sense of dread, like the nightmares were just barely on the edge of sleep, coaxing me to fall deeper so they could take over my mind.

I gasped awake after what felt like a very short time, but I could see the first beams of sunlight peeking through the open window. I stayed very still, turning only my eyes to look at Peeta. His bright blue eyes were shining down at me warmly as he faintly smiled.

"Good morning." He whispered calmly as the baby kicked, making Peeta's smile grow. The arm that wasn't wrapped around me was lying across my stomach, his hand resting gently on my growing belly. I smiled back at him. He looked handsome in the early morning light.

"Morning." I whispered back, giving him a gentle kiss. He smelled wonderful, his eyes shining and his blond hair slightly messy. I hoped our baby would have his eyes.

"Peeta?" I asked quietly after a long silence, snuggling closer into him as he wrapped his arms around me tighter. "Did you ever think we'd be back in District 12?"

He was lazily drawing patters into my stomach, applying slight pressure as if hoping the baby could feel it too. I nestled my head into the crook of his neck, kissing his warm skin every so often.

"I'm not sure what I thought, to be honest." Peeta answered, his voice rumbling in my ears. "Anything seemed possible back then."

"Are you glad we're here?" I whispered.

"Yeah… Yeah I am." He responded after a long silence. "I can't imagine myself anywhere else, can you?"

I thought about that. I thought about living the rest of my life underground in District 13. I thought about living in foreign District 4 where water and fishing would take over my life. I thought about every district, wondering if there was any place for me there, and I came up blank. This was my home, no matter how troubled. District 12 will always be my home. It's my past. Even thought I didn't know it back then, I was lucky. Peeta and I were lucky. Our childhoods here were, at least in comparison to every other district, somewhat normal. Of course, District 12 was by no means perfect, but I shuddered at the thought of growing up in District 2, or District 8. My life would've been completely controlled. I wouldn't have been able to slip under the fence and go hunting whenever I'd like. District 12 would always and forever be my home.

"No." I breathed. "I can't."

He had been drawing the same thing for a long time, and I tried to sit still and feel what it was supposed to be, but I had no idea. It was a flower I was pretty sure.

I felt the baby kick again as I jumped. Sometimes it caught me off guard, even after all this time. Peeta thought it was the greatest feeling in the world; it made his smile grow double its original size when he felt it, but it was still odd for me. He brought his lips to my stomach and kissed it once as the baby kicked again.

The first time I had felt a kick, I didn't talk for an hour. I had never been so scared before in my whole life. Peeta had just come home from the bakery and found me on the floor of the kitchen, crying.

"_Katniss? Katniss, I'm home!" Peeta yelled as he shut the door, setting his basket of rolls on the kitchen table. "Katniss, are you here?" he shouted again as he turned around, his eyes falling on my pathetic body curled up on the floor. _

_My back was against the wall and I hugged my legs close, or at least as close as I could get them. Tears had been constantly leaking out of my eyes for the past hour as I sat on the floor in pure fear, afraid of what was happening. I didn't know what to do with myself._

_He was by my side in a matter of milliseconds. "Katniss! What happened, are you hurt? Are you alright?" He questioned, bringing his hands up to my face, cupping my cheeks. His wonderful hands were still warm and toasty, sending chills down my spine. I instantly felt better with him here, but I was so afraid. _

"_P-Peet-ta…" I managed to stammer out, sniffing noisily. "Peeta…" I cried, not being able to form words._

"_Katniss, are you hurt?" He asked again, and I shook my head unevenly. He sighed gratefully as he swooped me up easily, walking a few steps over to the couch and setting me down gently on the middle cushion. Holding my hands, he got down on his knees in front of me, his eyes full of pain and confusion. _

"_What happened." He whispered, bringing my hands up to his lips. It wasn't a question. _

"_T-the baby…" I started, sniffing again. _

_His face filled with worry as he placed both of our hands on my stomach. "What about the baby?" _

"_It's kicking." I told him as I felt him instantly relax and give a slight but incredibly relieved smile. _

"_Sweetheart," He smiled, looking up into my eyes. "The baby kicking is a good thing." _

"_I'm afraid." I whispered as he moved his hands to my arm, rubbing it gently, trying to calm me down. I didn't want to admit it, but I wasn't going to lie to him. He could help me through this. "I'm very afraid." _

"_Why?" he asked sweetly. _

"_What happens if I mess up? What happens if something goes wrong, Peeta? What if I can't do this? What if I can't be a mother? What if I'm not as prepared as I thought?" I rapidly questioned, tears pouring down my face. The baby kicking just made everything 100% more real than it was this morning. There actually was something inside of me that was a mixture of Peeta and me, and the fact that it would be coming out soon is what made me afraid. I wasn't ready._

"_Katniss, nothing is going to go wrong. I promise. You will be the best mother in the whole entire world, and I know that even though things might seem scary now, they will definitely be worth it in the end, alright? The baby kicking is just a sign to tell us that we are doing things right, and things will be okay. It's a wonderfully, marvelously, beautiful thing." _

_I soaked in his words. They were such a 'Peeta' thing to say. I instantly felt so stupid now. Peeta had a way of making everything seem so rational. His way with words still amazes me, even after all this time. I felt like an idiot for collapsing on the ground and isolating myself just because the baby was doing something positive. Peeta had both made me realize how jumpy I was, and had made me feel so much more comfortable. I truly will never deserve him. _

"_Can I feel it?" Peeta asked after a while of sitting and assuring me that I was not stupid and that he was in fact still in love with me. _

_I nodded as he moved his hands to my stomach, and almost at that exact moment, the baby gave one swing of its leg. _

_Peeta's face went from excitement to concerned to happiness and finally staying on complete awe. "That's the best feeling in the entire world." He whispered as he kept his hands there, giving my stomach a kiss. "I love you Katniss." He breathed, smiling up at me._

"_I love you too Peeta." _

I smiled as I remembered. Ever since that moment, Peeta practically always had his hands on my stomach, like he was waiting for the baby to kick. His face always conveyed such awe, and sometimes it even brought tears to his eyes, and mine as well.

"What is this supposed to be?" I giggled, gesturing towards my stomach and whatever his hand was tracing onto my skin. Only a few more months until whatever was in there would come out to the real world. I still don't know if I was more scared or excited. But Peeta was right. Whatever it was, it would be worth it.

"A Primrose." He told me quietly, apparently finishing, drawing a stem and a few leaves.

I gave him a kiss on the neck, still not deserving my boy with the bread. He had been the best during my whole pregnancy, always staying calm and rational, helping me through my bad days and smiling with me during the good. He never yelled, he never shouted, even when I was horribly rude and cruel to him. My emotions seemed to be on a rollercoaster; each minute I felt something new. One minute I would be kissing Peeta, telling him how much I loved him, while the next minute I'd be throwing every single pillow and couch cushion that we owned at him. He never once got frustrated or upset with me, and I realized that I needed him more than anything.

"Peeta, I'm so sorry for how I've been acting the last couple of months." I whispered, and I already felt him start to shake his head. But we decided all those years ago on that fateful day that we would never keep anything from each other. I was going to get this out no matter what. "I don't mean to be so horrible. I just feel so…" I tried to think of the right word. "Everything. I feel everything, all the time." I tried to explain.

"Katniss you don't need to apologize. I know it's not easy for you; I know how uncomfortable you are and how much you'd like to get this over with. I'll do anything to keep you smiling and happy, and if that means hitting me with every pillow in District 12 then so be it." He smiled. "Don't say another thing about it sweetheart, I understand. Think of me as your own personal punching bag."

"But Peeta, I don't want you to be my punching bag. I shouldn't even need one in the first place! After all you've done for me; you definitely don't deserve to get attacked every day."

"Katniss, stop worrying about what I deserve. All I'm thinking about, all I've _been_ thinking about for the last few years has been you, and what you need. I'm fine, I promise." Peeta told me sweetly.

"I love you Peeta." I whispered to him, bringing my lips up to his, kissing him deeply. My body started to feel tingly, my heart started to pound and I had to tell myself to breath. He will never know how much he affected me.

"I love you so much Katniss." He told me softly, drawing hearts all over my stomach.

"Are you excited?" I asked him after a short silence. We hadn't really talked about this a whole lot. I hadn't brought it up, and I don't know why exactly. Once we started talking about the baby, it turned into a very real thing that was really going to happen. It made things a whole lot scarier.

"I'm very excited." I heard him smile, his hearts turning into clouds. "I can't wait to see her. Or him."

I smiled, knowing that he was. The ache in his eyes was gone, and it was replaced with hope and love. He was happier. I would catch him singing more often, usually songs that he told me would be for the baby. He made little cakes for each month I was pregnant, decorating them for me with little bows and shoes in every color. He told everybody that came into the bakery that he was going to be a dad. Excited was an understatement.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" I asked him, and I wondered why I hadn't before. There was nothing scary about it, and I found myself actually being curious to hear his answer.

"I'll be happy with whichever we get, as long as it's ours." He smiled warmly. "What do you want, a boy or a girl?"

"It doesn't matter." I smiled up at him.

"If it was a girl, would you name her after Prim?" Peeta asked quietly, not really sure I would handle this question.

I shook my head. "No. Children don't need ghosts. I want her to be her own person. Maybe as a middle name… but not a first. Could you imagine, living your whole life with someone else's name, trying to live up to it?" I told him.

"I understand exactly. No Primrose. Do you have any other names picked out? Like any boy names?"

"No…" I sighed. I know I should, but I don't have any clue. I was hoping he would have an idea. "I don't. I just feel bad calling the baby 'it'."

"I know what you mean." Peeta smiled, understanding.

"I think it's…." I started, but stopping. I knew it was a girl. I felt it. I could feel it, I knew it was. I don't have any idea how I knew, but I just… did. Peeta would think I'd be crazy if I told him, and had no evidence what-so-ever to back myself up.

"It's…?" He questioned, wanting me to continue.

"I think she's a girl." I breathed quietly, hoping he wouldn't think I was too insane and laugh at me.

Instead, he smiled. "If you think so, then I'm sure it is. From now on, we'll call her 'she'." Peeta smiled, kissing my forehead.

I smiled up at him, his warm hands making me shiver. He threw another blanket over us, noticing.

It was the little things he did that meant the most to me, I think. The way he would make the bed in the morning, the way he would pull out my chair for me. The way he would make my favorite cheese rolls every day because he knew how much I loved them. The way he would grab my hand reassuringly when he could tell I was having a rough moment. The way he would kiss me without having a reason.

"Do you have any girls names picked out?" He asked me quietly.

I nodded slowly. Would he remember?

"Like what?"

I took a deep breath to steady myself, just in case he laughed. "I was thinking…. Pearl." I breathed, sliding out from underneath his arms and rolling over to my nightstand. I opened the main drawer and pulled out the ring box I had kept in there from the toasting. Inside was my pearl, the tiny cream jewel that Peeta had given to me during our second games. When it wasn't in my pocket, I kept it safe in the drawer. I couldn't sleep without knowing it was in there.

"Pearl." He breathed, as if he was trying it out.

"I don't know if you remember this, but during the Quarter Quell games, you gave me a pearl. We were having our seafood feast and we found it. You gave it to me, and it is my most precious possession to this day. It helped me when you were taken prisoner, it helped me through your recovery and during the nights when I needed you and you weren't there. It's always with me." I breathed, pulling it out the box, scooting back over to him and laying it in his hand. "If anything ever happened to it… I don't know what I'd do." I added, not wanting to think about the possibilities. "If I could pass what my pearl means to me onto someone else…" I trailed off, Peeta brushing his lips against my forehead and making me lose my train of thought.

"Of course I remember." He told me. "I thought you would have lost it by now, it's been so many years." He rolled it around between his fingers, feeling the smooth surface and smiling.

"Pearl. It's perfect." He breathed, nuzzling his head into my hair, his finger tracing the world 'Pearl' into my stomach. The baby kicked wildly as we both smiled.

"I guess she likes it." Peeta laughed quietly, looking into my eyes.

I couldn't help it. I smiled at him, blinking away a few tears as I kissed him deeply, needing his touch, needing his taste. He ran his fingers through my hair as I smiled, laying my hand on his rough cheek.

"I love you." I told him quietly, my voice breaking with emotion.

He pressed his lips to mine again, softly and gently. "I love you too."

I laid my forehead against his as he continued to write the name 'Pearl' into my stomach. I didn't want to lose this moment. I didn't want to lose him, or her. The fear that had always been on the backburner was starting to seep into my mind, and I was scared that all of this was going to be taken away from me. I had come such a long way, all with Peeta's help. I couldn't let it take over me. Yet still…

"Are you afraid?" I breathed.

"Of what?" Peeta asked simply, pulling away to search my eyes.

"What if something happens?"I breathed as his eyes started to fill with confusion. "What if something goes wrong? What if she gets hurt, what if someone tried to take her? What if she runs away one day and never comes back? What if she dies?"

Peeta looked sadly into my eyes, running his free hand through my hair. "Sweetheart, there is no sense in worrying about any of that."

"What if something like that does happen? We can't pretend that it isn't possible." I whispered.

"No, we can't." Peeta answered truthfully.

"I just want to protect her. I don't want her to end up being like me, scared and worried." I sniffed, feeling a tear roll down my cheek as Peeta brought his thumb up to wipe it away gently.

"How do you think we should protect her, wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her in the house for her whole life?" Peeta said, a smile of his face.

"I think it sounds like a good idea." I smiled back.

He laughed quietly as he brushed my hair out of my face, giving me a look of pure love. My stomach fluttered so much I thought I was going to lift off the ground.

"We can't protect her from every scary thing out there. There is no way to do that; she is going to have to go out and face them on her own sometimes. The most important thing is that the games are over now. She will never have to go through what we did. She won't have anything like that to worry about, and that is the way it should be." Peeta started as I scooted closer to him. "She is going to try to climb trees like her mother, and will probably fall and break her arm. She's going to burn herself in the kitchen when she is helping us make dinner; she is going to scrape her knee when she falls on her way home from school. She is going to get splinters from the trees in the meadow and the forest. Things like that are going to happen; we can't protect her from anything like that. The most important thing we can do is be there for her when those things happen." Peeta ended quietly as a few stray tears leaked out the sides of my eyes, landing on his chest.

I sniffed messily as Peeta lifted his arm off my stomach and wrapped it around me securely, holding me tightly. Peeta knew just what to say and just how to say it. I couldn't even form words if I wanted to, his beautiful speech still ringing in my ears. I was so thankful to have such a perfect husband.

"Besides…" He started, and I could hear him smile. "I hope she does turn out like her mother. Beautiful and strong, brave, caring, loving, gentle and perfect." He breathed, his warm breath tickling my cheek.

"Peeta…" I sniffed, so touched by his words. "I love you so much." I breathed, unable to say anything else. I would never be able to say anything that would compare to that, and I wasn't even going to try because I would just fail miserably. Not at the moment.

"I love you Katniss." He smiled as I closed my eyes, hugging him closely and never wanting to let go. I needed him, so much more than I could even begin to describe. I was so grateful for everything about him. Without him, I would be nothing. Without him, I wouldn't be ready. And I think, for the first time in my whole life, I was ready for what was ahead.

I owed everything to my sweetheart. My boy with the bread. My Peeta.


	7. Chapter 7

**Note from Adillae: Hello everyone! I hope you're having a wonderful week! I'm SO sorry for not updating! I feel terrible, but this week has been one crazy week!**

**I'M AN AUNTIE! My niece was born on 1/16 and I couldn't be more excited! Her middle name is half of the inspiration for Peeta and Katniss' little girl (I couldn't help myself. Not only does Pearl fit the story completely, but it's just so stinking cute!). Then I BECAME A BIG SISTER AGAIN! My little brother was born on 1/17, about 26 hours later! Happiest person on earth is QUITE the understatement! While my mom and sister were in the hospital, I had to take care of my younger sisters and go visit my little kiddos, so my free time was nonexistent. I apologize. But, now that everyone is home and my sister and little niece are staying with us, hopefully I'll have a little more time! Things are just SUPER busy, but since there are two babies, it's like working double time for everything! But I wouldn't have it any other way!**

**This chapter is a little more dramatic, but I thought it was needed before Pearl was born. Please review and tell me what I need to work on, what you liked, and all that fun stuff. The messages you send me are the best things ever; they make me smile! Again with the English; I apologize for any mistakes. I promise to update sooner now! Reviews would help in that category... just sayin' :) ;)**

**I hope you have a fantastic weekend filled with happiness! Enjoy!  
><strong>**Sper că aveţi un sfârşit de săptămână fantastică umplut cu fericire! Bucuraţi-vă!**

The warm, dry air was difficult to suck in. It had the feeling of sandpaper as I tried to inhale, the sun beating down on Peeta and me as we went for our daily walk. Winter was gone, and now spring was on its way out too, leaving a dry and barren summer in its place.

Last week it had been lovely: warm and cheery. The leaves rustled in the wind, the birds were singing and the long grass of the meadow was swaying to its own song. Peeta had every window in the house open, and we spend the day baking, singing, laughing and smiling. The sun was pouring in from every window, illuminating everything in its path; the wind was soft and smelled like honeysuckle. It smelled like Peeta. Like home.

District 12 had changed a lot since then. The leaves were now starting to turn a brown, sickly color. The grass was dry and prickly. It hadn't rained for weeks; the sun had no clouds to hide behind. The sky was a brilliant blue, just like Peeta's eyes, but the sun was so bright that it hurt too much to notice. The dirt from the roads barely moved in the stagnant air, although every once and a while a huge gust would come out of nowhere, making the air almost too dusty to breathe. Everything was dry and dying. I hated this time of year.

The weather didn't stop Peeta and me from taking our daily walks. Now that I only had a few more months to go, I was almost itching to get some exercise. I wanted to be outside, walking around and enjoying the world. Thankfully, my stomach isn't too big. I have seen some pregnant women with bellies so large that I'm surprised they can even bear the weight. My belly is proportionate to my small, skinny frame, only sticking out a little. I'm sure I would grow more in the last months left then the whole beginning of the pregnancy.

Peeta's hand was warm and comforting in mine, and felt good against the heat from outside. His heat was a different kind; it gave me a cozy and safe feeling in contrast to the harshness of the weather. We were slowly meandering along the twists and turns of the back roads, taking our time with each step, our clasped hands swinging in between us.

A few children passed us, running down the street after a ball. They were sweaty from the heat but that didn't seem to bother them. We could hear them laughing behind us, and I couldn't help but smile. I saw their mother up ahead, hanging her laundry on a clothesline, smiling too. For the first time, I realized that we had a connection. I would be her soon, proudly grinning as my children ran down the street, laughing and happy. Before, my mother and I had nothing in common, but now… now we were the same in practically every way.

Suddenly, the through struck me. Peeta. His family. His whole family, gone. Dead. We hadn't talked about it for years, ever since we came home after the rebellion. He didn't seem to miss them, but he could be hiding it for my sake. He had no one left except Haymitch and me. Nothing and no one, and I never heard him complain or break down from sadness.

"Peeta?" I asked quietly, laying a hand lightly on my stomach. Sometimes it made a nifty hand rest.

"Hmmm?" he responded, kicking a rock out of his way.

"Do you miss your family?" I questioned, slightly worried that I might be making him remember terrible things.

"You are my family." He said, slightly confused about what I was asking. "You and her." He added, gesturing to my stomach.

I smiled at him sadly. "I mean your family; your mother, your father, your brothers. Do you miss them?" I breathed.

He sighed, squinting up into the bright sky. "I don't know Katniss, I…" he trailed off. "I miss my father. I miss him a lot, everyday. Sometimes I miss my brothers. But I don't think I've missed my mom once." He told me truthfully, and I squeezed his hand.

"Does that make me a bad person?" He asked quietly.

"What? No, of course not." I told him, leaving over to give him a clumsy kiss on the cheek. "You aren't a bad person, Peeta. You are the furthest thing from it." I reassured.

"I feel like I should miss her." He added after a short silence. "She was my mother after all."

"Family isn't always blood, and sometimes blood isn't always family." I told him softly as a big gust of wind picked up out of nowhere. The dirt from the street was thrown into the air, creating a small scale tornado of sorts. Leaves rustled around our feel as we coughed, spitting the dust from our mouths.

"I just wanted to help you in case you missed them." I said. "I feel like you help me much more than I help you. I didn't want you to continue hurting if there was something I could do about it."

He stared up at me, a certain look in his eyes. I knew what that look meant. That I shouldn't say things like that, because he loves me. Because I help him more than I'll ever understand. Because I'm all he needs, and I shouldn't be thinking those things since they aren't true.

He told me these things all the time, reminding me every day. He told me how much I meant to him, how much I helped him, how much he loved me. But even though I knew that I did, I didn't _feel_ like I did anything what-so-ever to help him. I felt just as helpless as ever. All I wanted to do was make him feel better.

"I love you." He told me, rubbing my stomach calmly and smiling at me.

"I love you too, Peeta." I whispered back, the look in his eyes giving me goose bumps.

Another big gust of wind came out of nowhere while a smoky smell started to fill the air, making it slowly become hazy. Someone was probably cooking a big animal like a deer. If you were lucky enough to shoot one of them yourself, or buy it, people would usually cook it in the front yard and show it off, letting the neighbors have some pieces too. The fire smell didn't go well with this dry air or heat. Why on earth was someone making a fire on a day like this? Don't they know it will spread like wildfire?

We slowly turned the corner, coming onto a street that was near the town center. I could hear the crackling of the fire, and some people shouting; arguing about who gets the deer leg most likely.

Suddenly, Peeta was pushing me backwards as people rushed into the street, ripping his hand from mine. I searched for him in the crowd, icy fear shooting through my veins quickly. I pushed people away, most of them seemed to be fleeing anyways, and tried to get to him, but he waved his arms.

"Go! Go to Haymitch's, I'll be there soon!" he yelled, and I was as confused as ever. Why were people running? What was going on? Was there a protest? Was there a fight? If he thought I was leaving him, he was crazy.

It didn't take me long to figure it out. I looked up over the heads of the people in the crowd, and gasped at what a saw. Flames were engulfing a small house on the far end of the street, their red and orange fingers licking up the wooden sides. It was spreading, the fire catching onto the houses next to it. Screams were emitting from its burning floors, white sheets were being thrown out the window. The screams sounded like children. Smoke was billowing out the top and it made the air hazy, making it hard to see even from where I was standing. People were running away, charging at me as I tried to go against them, making my way towards Peeta. What was he doing?

"PEETA!" I screamed, pushing people out of my way as I tried to get to him.

"KATNISS, GO!" Peeta shouted as he continued towards the house. Why in the world was he going TOWARD it?

I opened my mouth to shout back to him, but the sound never made it out of my throat. Something hard and metal hit my head, making my ears ring and stars float into my line of vision. I struggled to keep my eyes open as I felt blood trickle down my neck, warm and thick. The edges of my vision were turning black as I reached my hand for Peeta, before collapsing in the middle of the road.

…

"Katniss…" I heard a raspy voice say, shaking me hard. I was on a hard surface, my muscles incredibly sore from being in the same uncomfortable position for a long time. I smelled smoke, coughing as it invaded my nostrils. I stirred, trying to move and open my eyes, but I couldn't pull them open. They seemed to weigh a thousand pounds.

"Katniss, can you get up?" the voice asked again as I fluttered my eyes open, a blurry Haymitch coming into view. I blinked rapidly, his face becoming clearer and clearer. I sat up on my elbows and looked around, my head hurting more with each passing second.

I was still on the floor, right where I collapsed. The street was completely empty except for me and Haymitch. The fire was put out, leaving the smoldering remains of a house at the end of the street. It hadn't spread much, which was good, but where was Peeta?

I started to ask, but Haymitch put a hand over my mouth. I could tell by the look in his eyes that something was wrong. I tried not to cry; I tried not to worry. Haymitch wouldn't let anything happen to him. Not now.

"Let's get home." He told me, helping me up onto my feet.

I looked down and noticed a large pool of blood. It made me frustrated, and that was an understatement. Did no one in this district help me? An injured pregnant woman collapsed on the ground? They were all too worried about themselves and they couldn't stop to make sure I was okay?

We walked slowly, my head spinning as I grabbed onto Haymitch tighter. I tried not to think about what happened to Peeta, but tears leaked out of my eyes anyway. I had to know, no matter how bad it was.

"Haymitch, where is he?" I finally asked, sniffing loudly and blinking away tears to no avail. We were rounding the corner by the bakery, and that only made things worse. I couldn't do it. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let out a sob, gripping onto Haymitch, afraid I was going to collapse again if I didn't.

He didn't answer right away. "He is at home. Greasy Sae is with him right now."

My stomach started to clench, a feeling of dread seeping through my skin. I got dizzy, disoriented. He was lying. Peeta was fine, and I would walk into my house and he would be on the couch waiting for me. I heard a ringing in my ears as my vision started to turn black around the edges, but I blinked it away, determined to get home to him.

"What happened to him Haymitch!" I shouted, probably looking deranged but I couldn't care less. Even a flicker of the thought that Peeta would be dead when we got home was so frightening, so terrifying that I started to cry even harder.

"He's at home. Greasy Sae is with him." He repeated, obviously not wanting me to know just yet what had happened to him. Was he really that bad? Was he already dead?

And Greasy Sae? She was with him? Was that supposed to make me feel better? She wasn't a doctor! Where was my mother? She was the only person I trusted enough to even lay a hand on him. What was wrong with him? Could they fix it; could they treat it? Had he lost another limb? Had he been stabbed unknowingly? Had he been knocked out like me, only worse? Why would Greasy Sae need to be with him?

"She'll need to have a look at you too, after what happened with your head." Haymitch said, more to himself than to me.

I reached my hand back, feeling dry blood caked onto my hair and the back of my head. I felt a deep gash, and the second I pressed on it unimaginable pain shot through my head, causing me to collapse in Haymitch's arms. Thankfully he had a firm grip on me and caught me instantly, helping me back up. The ringing in my ears hadn't stopped.

We rounded the corner to home, and I let out another sob. I could hear his screams of pain coming from the upstairs window, which was open. My heart broke as I listened to the horrid sounds, clawing at Haymitch to let me go, to let me run in and see him. I needed to see him. I needed him.

I sobbed harder once we got closer, and I pushed Haymitch away from me, shoving open the front door.

"Peeta!" I screamed repeatedly, tears streaming down my face. I heard him mumble my name in between shouts of pure pain that went rippling through my heart. I charged up the stairs, forgetting about my head and the black that was threatening to take over my sight.

The bedroom door was open, and all I could see was Peeta's leg. It was still attached to him and didn't look to be harmed in any way, and I breathed a short sigh of relief. Another deafening scream of pain came from the room as I burst inside, crying even harder at what I saw.

The skin on his right arm was completely black and red. I could see layers of it on the floor beside him, Greasy Sae attending to his wound. She was picking off the dead and burned skin, looking focused and slightly crazy. Peeta was screaming in agony, clutching the covers of the bed.

I ran over, jumping on the bed with him, laying his head on my knees so that I looked down at him, cradling his head in my hands. Thankfully my belly didn't get too much in the way as I brushed his hair out of his eyes, kissing everywhere I could reach.

"Katniss… Katniss…" he whispered over and over again as I cried, making my kisses taste salty and leaving his face wetter than before.

"Peeta, you're okay, you're alright." I whispered to him constantly, shushing his cries of pain and telling him I loved him.

Unexpectedly, his cries stopped all together. He looked up at me, his eyes slightly misty but never shedding a tear. I gazed down at him, wondering what happened. Was he dying? Was this his final moment?

Greasy Sae continued to pull the layers of dead skin off his arm as he stared into my eyes.

"I can't feel it anymore." He whispered, his voice raspy from shouting.

"Burned all your nerve endings. You probably won't feel again for a while, until they start to grow back. But trust me, then you'll start to feel it." Greasy Sae replied; setting her tweezers and bowl of Peeta's burned flesh on the ground next to her.

His arm was all raw, being stripped down to a thin layer of bright red skin. At least all the black was gone. She rubbed a mixture of herbs on the tender flesh before wrapping it in strips of a bed sheet, then laying some ice on the top of that.

"Peeta, that's all I can do for now." She told him as he nodded, head still in my arms. "It's just a waiting game now."

"Thank you." He whispered. At least he wasn't in pain. Yet.

"Katniss, I'll look at you now." She told me, walking across the room to my side of the bed, rubbing my shoulder gently.

"What do you mean?" Peeta asked, confusion and fear written all over her face.

"She got whacked in the head by something. She bled out in the street for a while until she came around again. Probably has a concussion but has definitely lost a lot of blood." Greasy Sae explained as she peeked through my hair, running her fingers gently, trying to feel her way around the wound.

The look on Peeta's face broke my heart, and when his eyes met mine, I couldn't hold back the tears. He looked more in pain now than he was when Greasy Sae was ripping his burned flesh off of him. I couldn't hold his gaze, not when he looked like that.

"Katniss—" he started, but I cut him off.

"Don't make this about me. You're the one that's hurt. I'm fine." I told him, brushing his hair out of his face. He opened his mouth again, but I wouldn't let him. "Don't worry about me." I shook my head at him. He lifted his good arm up to my stomach, rubbing it gently. I smiled down at him, giving him a tender kiss on his dry lips before Greasy Sae ripped me out of his grasp. I held onto his good hand tightly, never wanting to let go. There was no way I was letting go.

Suddenly, Greasy Sae's hands ran over the same spot that mine did in the front yard, and I collapsed with pain on the bed, next to Peeta's good arm. I cried out, tears escaping from my eyes as I closed them, which was definitely the wrong thing to do. The black that had been around the edges of my vision, the black that I thought I had tamed, soon overtook my sight and I slipped into a world of nothing.

…

I woke up to Peeta shaking me with his good arm, calling me frantically while Greasy Sae had a concerned look on her face. The look on his face made me cry even harder. I hated seeing him like this. I hated seeing him hurt and in pain. I couldn't help but think about his arm, about how he only had a few good layers of skin left. Something bad could've happened to him; I could've lost him, and the wave of realization rushed through me. I gripped his hand tighter, not wanting to think about it.

I hated passing out. The numb feeling that you had, the unwelcoming idea that you had almost skipped time was frightening. It reminded me too much of my time in District 13, where I was constantly in a state of medically induced comas.

Soon Greasy Sae was carefully cleaning the blood off of my wound, being careful not to repeat the earlier incident. Peeta watched me carefully as if he was waiting for something bad to happen to me, and I did the same. Our eyes never left each other's, and neither did our hands. He didn't seem to be in much pain now, and for that I was grateful.

"Katniss…" Greasy Sae said quietly, setting her bloody rag on the floor next to her tweezers. "I'm going to have to sew it shut."

I closed my eyes, not even caring if I lost consciousness again. Touching it for a second hurt badly enough, what was sewing it shut going to do? I felt Peeta squeeze my hand reassuringly, giving me a kind smile before I nodded, scooting closer to him.

Those few minutes were the worst in my life. Pain was shooting through my body, traveling up and down my spine, all around my head, all the way down to my feet. I shouted out Peeta's name helplessly, trying to stay still so Greasy Sae could do her job. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at the pain that would be on Peeta's face as I felt him kiss my temple. How he managed to move over and reach that without hurting himself amazed me, but the stabbing, throbbing pain in my head distracted me. I felt each individual stitch of the dull needle, screaming and yelling out for Peeta, wanting him to take all of this pain away, even for a minute, even if it meant losing consciousness. I sobbed louder, my free arm gripping the sheets of the bed, wanting to rip them off. I couldn't handle this. "Peeta!" I screamed, my voice breaking from both pain and overuse. I felt her fingers messily tie a knot in the back of my head, and it was over.

"Done." Greasy Sae said as she patted my back clumsily. I knew it was hard on her too, but I would thank her. Later. "You've got to eat something and get your blood sugar levels up, I'll be right back." She told us, although we weren't listening.

The second we were left alone, I burst into tears again, sliding over to lay my head on Peeta's good shoulder, making his shoulder wet almost instantly.

"Peeta, w-why did you do it? You're so stupid, y-you're so stupid, why?" I managed to choke out, kissing every inch of skin I could reach. "I could've lost you!" I cried even harder and I felt his good arm tighten around me. He was so weak, and I could tell that even conversation was hard for him.

To my surprise, he smiled. "You would've never lost me." He breathed.

I looked up at him, not returning his smile. I wanted an answer. Why did he save them? Surely someone else would've done it?

"Katniss…" he started, reading my mind. "It was a family. They had children…" he trailed off, looking down at my stomach. "All I kept picturing was Pearl in there, trapped and no one to save her. If that was me, if I was the father, I would want someone to at least try and save her." He whispered. "I couldn't leave them there to die. Not them. Not her."

I couldn't respond, even though I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how much I need him. I couldn't form sentences, but he carried on.

"I see things differently now, now that she is on her way." He breathed. "Instead of just any child playing, I see Pearl playing outside. Instead of a random sick child, I see a sick Pearl and it breaks my heart. Like today, when I saw the children in there, I just saw Pearl, scared and curled up in the corner of the room, waiting to die. I had to do something. I had to save them."

This only made me cry harder. Of course I was being the selfish, heartless bitch that didn't think of anyone but herself. And naturally, Peeta was being the sweet, caring, wonderful, brave, grateful man that he always was. My boy with the bread, running into a burning house to save children that weren't his. My sweetheart that, to this day, I still haven't deserved. He did it because of me, because of Pearl. He did it because he was going to be a dad. He saw it all differently now that she was on her way.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't leave them." He repeated.

"Peeta…" I tried to say, my words getting lost in the sobs. "You did the right thing." I told him. "Of course you did the right thing. I know that you never would've been able to live it down if you would've walked away." I cried. "You are the most amazing, most wonderful, most caring p-person I've ever known." I sobbed. "And I love you."

"Katniss, I love you so much." He responded, giving me a tender kiss. His cracked lips didn't feel right against mine; his were always so smooth and soft. Not today. Not after the fire.

Greasy Sae kicked the door open with her foot, holding a tray of stew and bread. Some of Peeta's sugar cookies were lying on a plate next to two glasses of water. She set it down on the end table before helping us both sit up, not saying a word. Peeta didn't seem to be in pain, and I was still so amazed. The fact that he ran into a burning house to save children… Did anyone in this whole world deserve him?

The wind picked up outside, and I could feel it all the way on the bed. Greasy Sae bustled over to the window, closing it quickly just as raindrops appeared on the glass, making a slight tinkling noise. The sky had clouded over, and the rumble of distant thunder made Pearl kick rapidly in my stomach. Soon it was pouring outside, making the window look like it was crying.

Greasy Sae placed bowls of soup in our laps, forcing me to eat a few sugar cookies before she would leave. They tasted unnaturally sweet, like she sprinkled extra sugar on them before sliding them my way. I did what I was told. For Pearl, not for me. She forced a spoon in my free hand, and I took a small bite before she smiled, leaving the room and shutting the door.

Peeta and I ate our soup in silence, except for the loud cracks of thunder that rolled through every few minutes. It was raining so hard that I couldn't see anything outside through the window, but I'm sure it was pretty muddy, all of that unprotected dirt mixed with those gallons of water pouring from the sky.

We didn't talk. We didn't have to. It was comfortable, peaceful and calming, us just lying there with our hands entwined. I was afraid to say anything, in case I started to cry again or worry. I told myself over and over that he wasn't in pain, not yet. He was fine.

Greasy Sae came in after what seemed like a few hours to refill our stew bowls, and this time she brought her granddaughter. Peeta's eyes lit up as he saw her shyly come in through the door, walking over to his arm timidly. He smiled at her when she held out her blue ball of yarn, a sad look in her eyes.

"You got hurted?" she whispered, looking at his arm oddly. She didn't know what to make of it.

"Yes." He replied, her big eyes starting to fill with tears. She kissed her tiny fingers before lightly pressing it to his cloth bandage, making a smile erupt on his face.

I smiled as I watched, touched by her sweet gesture. I leaned over Peeta and grabbed her under the armpits, heaving her up onto the bed in between Peeta and me. She snuggled right in the middle of us, looking comfortable and happy as ever. It felt right to have her there. I felt safe and happy with a child between us, like it should've been happening all along. Her little body was warm and I could feel her tiny heartbeat. Soon it would be Pearl between us.

My eyelids seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, my eyes felt like they were burning with exhaustion. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to miss any time that I had with Peeta. I'm sure fire would rage through my nightmares on top of everything else.

"Katniss, go to sleep." Peeta smiled at me, leaning over the little girl between us to give me a gentle kiss, his lips feeling more normal since Greasy Sae forced us to drink the whole glass of water. I traced his jawline with my finger, feeling his rough stubble and assuming he forgot to shave this morning. "Go ahead." He whispered. "I'll be here when you wake up."

I smiled faintly at him as I laid my head back on the pillow, being careful not to put pressure on my stitches. I pulled a blanket over my legs as I closed my eyes, the darkness outlining my sight wasn't as threatening as before.

The only noises were the wind and thunder howling behind us, but the little girl didn't seem to be frightened by it. She sat very still beside me as I listened to the rain thrashing against the side of the house, the wind picking up everything in its path and beating it helplessly with the rain, making the walls creek.

I fell into a dreamless sleep; a helpless sea of black where the nightmares threatened to spill over into my head. I had an eerie sense of sadness, like something was going to happen, but soon a bright red fire rushed through my mind and I gasped awake, shooting into a sitting position, the stitches on the back of my head stinging madly.

"Katniss…" Peeta started, leaning his free arm over and pressing it against mine, calming me instantly. It was just a dream. I looked into his eyes and found love and happiness there. I knew everything would be alright. We were going to be okay.

Sometime during my nap, the little girl had moved out from between us and was now sitting on the end of the bed, rolling her blue yarn down the bed where Peeta would catch it and send it back to her. The sparkle in both of their eyes made me so content, even after the events of the day.

Peeta let out a groan of discomfort as my eyes instantly looked at his face, then his arm. I realized Greasy Sae was in the room, sitting on a chair and unwrapping his bandages. His skin was still horribly red and it still looked burned. The skin was rough and jagged, and I couldn't help but think of the bombs that made us go through all of this before. The bombs that Gale made. The bombs that took Prim away from me.

I couldn't think about that, not now. I needed to be strong for Peeta. For my boy with the bread. He gritted his teeth as Greasy Sae rubbed the herb concoction carefully onto his raw flesh, wrapping clean bed sheets around it tightly. Silently, she came over to my side of the bed, gently feeling my stitched. Pain shot down my spine as she pressed her fingers to the gash and I jumped, but it was over quickly and I hadn't shed a single tear.

"Come on dear, let them rest." Greasy Sae said as she lifted her granddaughter off our bed, much to our protests. Peeta looked sadly at the little girl, who was holding her arms out to him as she was being carried off. Greasy Sae shut the door on us, leaving our wounded, tired selves left on the bed and the storm raging outside.

I laid my head on Peeta's chest, careful not to pull my stitches or hurt him in any way. He had a small, tired smile on his face as he sighed loudly, his injured arm lying beside him, completely still. The bed felt oddly cold without the little girl in it. It felt empty.

A big gust of wind threw some rocks against the side of the house, the rain lashing and having no fury. It looked cold and heartless outside, and I couldn't help but be reminded of that day when Peeta became my boy with the bread. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind, not wanting to think about how much I still owe him, even to this day.

Today had been one of the scariest of my whole life, and that was an accomplishment after all I had been through. Not knowing if Peeta was okay, watching him go towards the burning house, bursting through the door and looking at him in terrible pain, watching his mangled arm as it was worked on. It reminded me too much of the games, and that part of my life was over. It was supposed to be over, I had closed that part of my past and I thought I would never open it again, only in the nightmares and in my subconscious mind. I was really stupid for thinking that. It had happened, and it had been terrible. Why I thought I could just shove it out of my memory was so childish of me. Peeta had dealt with his memories yet I was too scared to even lift a page of that part of my life, fearing the horrible things I would remember. It was just best not to remember at all.

If something would've happened to Peeta, I don't know what I would do. Would I have killed myself too? Maybe before Pearl, but I honestly didn't know what I would've done in a moment of pure hell like that. I could feel tears forming in my eyes at the thought of not having Peeta with me. His body would be lifeless like in my nightmares. No Katniss, you can't think about that. Shove it out of your mind. He's alright.

But I couldn't. The realization that he could've died was too fresh and too deep of a wound. I felt ashamed. I should be the most grateful person on this earth because he was still alive, right next to me, his hand in mine. I shouldn't be dwelling on the bad, but I couldn't help it. I sniffed again, a few tiny drops of tears spilling out of my eyes as I buried my head in his chest, feeling an odd mixture of shame, happiness, grief and appreciation.

Peeta unclasped our hands so he could wrap his good arm around me, holding me safely.

"Does your head hurt? Do I need to go get Greasy Sae?" Peeta asked quietly. Of course he was thinking about me, even when his arm was practically burned off.

"No." I whispered. Even if I did need her, I wouldn't let him get up off this bed.

"What is it?" He asked softly, innocently, just like my Peeta.

I was going to be cool about this, and have a grown up conversation, but that plan went right out the window and into the storm the second I looked into his eyes. I burst into tears as Peeta immediately started to whisper 'I love you's into my skin and hair, shushing me quietly. I didn't deserve him.

"You could've died." I whispered roughly through my tears, my voice dry.

"I could never leave you." He answered simply, honestly.

"I don't ever want you to." I said, scooting even closer to him. "I just can't stop thinking about what could've happened."

"Sweetheart, that will only make you feel worse." Peeta whispered, drawing circles into my arm.

I tilted my head up and gave him a kiss, his lips feeling back to normal now. His lips sent tingles down my spine, making me shiver. I smiled as he kissed my forehead. He somehow still smelled like cinnamon.

"Peeta?" I asked quietly after a long, comfortable silence. I knew he needed his rest, but I had to just get this off my chest.

"Yes Katniss?" he whispered sleepily.

"When I die—" I started, determined to make it through what I wanted to say, but Peeta cut me off immediately.

"Katniss—"

"No Peeta, listen." I told him gently, looking up in his eyes. I couldn't quite read his expression. "When I die, and if it's before you, it's okay if you go and marry someone else—"

"Katniss, stop—" he told me, an almost painful expression in his eyes.

"No Peeta, let me get this out." I said, starting over. "I don't mind if you marry someone else. If it would make you happy, then I'd be happy too. If you found someone that made you happy, then I wouldn't mind. I'd want Pearl and our other kids to have a mother. I just want you to be happy." I told him, and surprisingly no tears were coming.

"When the kids are old enough, I want you to sit down and tell them about everything that happened. They need to know about everything we did; the games, the rebellion, the assassinations, the Quarter Quell. I want them to know it all, only when they're old enough. Show them our book; show them your pictures and paintings. Please." I told him. "Don't scare them, but don't lie to them. I want them to know what really happened."

Peeta looked incapable of speaking as he brought me even closer to him, nuzzling his head in my hair. "I'll tell them. I'll take good care of them." He managed to whisper, voice heavy with emotion.

"I know you will." I breathed. "I love you so much Peeta." I told him, my voice higher pitched than normal.

"I love you too, Katniss." He whispered back as I reached up and gave him a kiss. It was soft and slow like always, and I knew that things would be back to normal soon. I smiled as I deepened the kiss, and rolled on top of him, being careful of his injured arm and my stomach. He ran his good hand through my hair, twisting it beneath his fingers and being careful of my stitches, as we both smiled. He lightly feathered kisses across my cheek and down my neck. I needed his lips on mine, his warm skin and his hands. After all this time I was still addicted to my boy with the bread. I felt the all too familiar electric spark running through my veins. It was dangerous, especially since there were people at our house. We couldn't start something here and now, could we?

He brought his lips back to mine and I sighed contently, 100% okay with whatever happened. I was just glad he was alive at this point. He smiled before running his hand through my hair again, pulling away much to my disappointment.

"Katniss…" He started weakly, his smile still faintly playing at the edge of his lips, "With both of us severely injured and Greasy Sae just downstairs, do you really think this is smart?"

I grinned, laughing as I rolled off of him, unable to stop. What a Peeta thing to say. I laughed until my sides were splitting, Peeta finally cracking and joining me until we were both grabbing our stomachs in pain, unable to quit laughing.

"What is going on up here!" Greasy Sae said as she burst through the door about ten minutes later. She had a stern look on her face, but the second she glanced at our pathetic selves nearly passed out on the bed from exhaustion and laughter, she couldn't help but join us. She merely backed up and shut the door, probably happy just to see us smiling.

Pearl started to kick along with us, and I don't think I had ever been this light and happy or ready for what was ahead. I was ready to see her, I was ready to hold her in my arms and have her grow up with Peeta and me. I wanted her more in that split second that I had in my whole life. I was completely ready.

I had a revelation, right here in the middle of the bed, doubled over with side-splitting pain from laughter. Even though it was sometimes hell, sometimes so hard and unforgiving that I didn't want it to go on anymore, life was still amazing. Life was wonderful, even with its imperfections, and I wouldn't change anything for the world. Not my Pearl, not My Peeta, not My Sweetheart. Not My Boy with the Bread.


	8. Chapter 8

**Note from Adillae: Hello all of you beautiful people! Life is just great, isn't it? So wonderful! **

**I wrote this chapter after I held both my niece and my brother for the first time, and when I went back to do some final proofreading I realized that I basically, yet unknowingly, wrote about how I felt when I first held them. So this chapter is especially special to me, and hopefully the emotion comes off as real! Because it was very real for me!**

**Thanks for all of your reviews and messages, they truly make me happy and I love them so much! Maybe I'm too emotional…. Ah well. I think my English is getting better and better, and I hope you think so too! Please let me know what I can work on and all of that fun stuff. I love constructive criticism! Enjoy the new update!**

**You are beautiful, and very special to me! Always remember that. :)  
>Sunteti frumoase si speciale să <strong>**mă! N****e amintim ****întotdeauna ****că.**** :)**

All the pain and the worry had been worth it. Every single emotion I felt, every terrible dream I had was worth it. My back aches, my swollen feet, my interesting food choices and the times I had broken down crying were all worth it. All of the pain and the suffering. Everything I've ever been through was worth this moment.

A tiny pair of blue eyes was shining up at me, and that's when I knew. I knew that everything I had ever done in my life was because of this moment. This was supposed to happen; Peeta and I were destined for each other. We were meant to be parents. Pearl was meant to be here.

The other pair of blue eyes belonged to my husband, who was holding me securely on the sofa. We had just gotten home for the first time and went directly for our couch. I just wanted to hold her, to look at her, to see what Peeta and I did together. I wanted to feel her tiny heartbeat and feel her breath on my skin; I wanted to confirm that she really was here in my arms and it wasn't just a dream.

The twinkling blue eyes had only been open for a few days, but they were as bright and calm as her father's. I just couldn't stop looking at her; her small round head holding a few wisps of dark hair, her new pink skin, her precious little nose, and her heart shaped lips. She was long and skinny, but was currently curled up into a ball, not completely stretched out yet. Her chest rose and fell with each tiny breath she took, her heart beating steadily and safely just like it should. I loved everything about her. I didn't know I could love anyone this much.

She gurgled quietly, shuffling a bit in one of Haymitch's blankets. Her mouth was just barely open as she slept, making her look so precious and sweet. She had a little hat on her sweet head, giving her a warm and cozy look. Her little fingers were latched onto Peeta's hand firmly, like she never wanted to let go, and I don't think he wanted her too anyway. She hadn't cried very much and had either sat quietly slept most of the day, giving Peeta and me lots of time to look at her. I couldn't look away. She was finally here, and after all that waiting, I never wanted to stop gazing at her perfect little nose, her delicate lips, her small ears. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes were as blue as the sky. The first time she opened them to reveal the color, I cried. I was so thankful to be gazing back at Peeta's eyes instead of my own.

"She's perfect." Peeta breathed after a long, long time. His face was so heavenly, staring down at her in awe. I don't think he really believed that she was here yet; like this was all a dream.

"She is." I answered quietly, finally tearing my eyes away from her to look at Peeta.

The ache in his eyes was completely gone, and looking now I wouldn't have even guessed it was there in the first place. His eyes were full of happiness and love, his face relaxed and almost in shock. His dream had finally come true, and she was right here in front of us. Our baby girl. Our Pearl.

I realized that I had been holding her this whole time, stealing her away in my arms without any thought that Peeta might want to hold her too. He hadn't said a word about it, but I knew he was probably dying to hold her, to wrap his arms around her and hold her closely. I shifted her in my arms, holding her out to him as he just stared at her, like he was afraid she was going to break if he touched her.

"Go on." I whispered as he reached out, safely taking her in his arms. He held her, frozen, looking at her with so much love that I let a few tears leak out of my eyes. We had done it. We had made it. We helped bring her into this world.

I couldn't help but smile at them. His eyes were wet from tears but he had a sort of smile on his face that I had never seen before. A smile that was meant just for her. His eyes were free of any sort of ache, and I knew his heart was beating full and steady for the first time. My Peeta and my Pearl, finally together, their eyes shining at each other like they were communicating nonverbally. I heard Peeta sniff as he finally brought her close to him, wrapping his strong arms around her little body safely. He bent his head down, placing a little kiss on her cheek. I laughed quietly to myself, taking off her hat and running my fingers through her little tufts of dark hair. I brought my lips to her forehead as she gurgled again in her sleep.

"I love you." Peeta whispered breathlessly, his face only inches from mine. His face is full of so much wonder and delight. I have never seen him so happy before.

I smiled back at him, leaning over Pearl and into him, pressing my lips against his. He was warm and safe, calming and comforting. Nothing like that has changed.

I don't know why I was so afraid. Now that she was here, she was right in front of me and my heart was filled to the brim with love and adoration, I can't imagine my life, our life, without her. She filled a hole that I didn't even know I had. She made everything seem better. She was hope. She was all I have ever wanted. Most importantly, Peeta was truly happy. He deserved it.

"I love you too." I breathed back, brushing a few stray blond hairs out of his eyes before we both looked down to the bundle in his arms. She was asleep peacefully. At least she didn't have to deal with nightmares, and I was grateful for that. I could tell Peeta was thinking the same thing.

My stomach gave a loud grumble as I wrapped my arms around my smaller figure, trying to quiet it. I looked up at Peeta who was smiling at me.

"I can start some dinner, if you'd like—" He started, trying to hand Pearl back to me, but I carefully pushed his arms away as I got up off the couch.

"I'll make dinner." I told him quietly.

"Are you sure?" He asked, eyes floating back down to the little girl hidden away in the bundle of blankets.

I laughed, a smile stretching across my face. I couldn't possibly tear her out of his arms now. "I'm sure. And I promise I'll try and make it taste good!"

He smiled back at me as I walked over to the kitchen, feeling somewhat nervous that Greasy Sae wasn't here. I had cooked without her before, but this time it felt so different. I was cooking for my family. I was a mother now, and my job was to feed and take care of everyone. I felt a certain obligation this time that I hadn't felt before, like there was more pressure this time. But Greasy Sae had taught me well, and I was sure that I could find something to whip up.

The only noise was coming from the coal in the fireplace, hissing and cracking as it warmed the entire room while I stood and thought. I had some leftover rabbit from yesterday, and I had some potatoes and carrots. I could fix that with some of Peeta's bread and a few husks of corn.

I smiled as I walked to the cupboard, pulling out all of the ingredients that I needed, feeling incredibly proud of myself. Peeta didn't know the extent of my cooking skills, and frankly I didn't either, so both of us would be in for a surprise.

I chopped up the rabbit and placed it in a pot, mixing it with some broth, carrots and potatoes. I let it cook on the stove while I husked some corn, melting some butter to drizzle over the top along with a few spices. I cut a few pieces of Peeta's bread and got out the marmalade, and grabbing a few sugar cookies for dessert. By the time all of that was done, the sun was starting to set in lower in the sky and my stomach was growling even louder than before.

Peeta must be terribly hungry and tired. He had hardly slept at all, or ate for that matter, always worried about how hungry and tired _I_ was instead of his needs. He insisted on giving me all of the food, saying that I should be starving, and letting me nap while he sat up long into the morning hours. He would always take care of Pearl during my naps, and when I tried to force him to go to sleep, he would persist that he wasn't tired and just wanted to look at her. I smiled at his eagerness. I knew that he was over-the-moon excited, and that was a complete understatement.

By the time I was done chopping and baking and stirring, the rabbit on the stove was done cooking. I placed large portions in two bowls, placed the corn, cookies and two glasses of water on a tray and made my way over to the couch, trying not to trip on the rug on my way there.

But Peeta wasn't on the couch. Sometime during my cooking experience, he and Pearl had moved onto the floor, just feet away from the fireplace. They were both deep in sleep, looking frozen in time. Peeta was on his back, one arm up underneath his head while Pearl was lying on her stomach, curled up on Peeta's chest. He had his free hand lightly resting on her back, holding her to him gently yet protectively, just like Peeta would; warmly, safely, securely, lovingly. He had a faint smile on his face, happy just to be with his baby girl.

I knew he was hungry and I wanted to wake him up, but I couldn't make a sound. Happy tears streamed down my face as I took in the sights before me, my heart fluttering with so much love for both Pearl and Peeta that I could hardly stand it.

I must've sniffed louder than I thought, because Peeta's eyes slowly fluttered open, instantly full of concern.

"Katniss…" he started, sitting up carefully, shifting Pearl back to his arms.

I set my tray down on the floor and fell to my knees, shuffling over to him and wrapping my arms around his neck. He wrapped one arm around me tightly, carefully holding Pearl in the other. I felt his warm lips all over my face, shushing me and murmuring sweet phrases into my skin.

"What's wrong?" He asked innocently, brushing his fingers through my hair and his lips across my forehead.

I smiled through the tears; happiness feeling like it was going to burst out of me. "I love you." I responded, clutching onto him tighter.

I heard him chuckle, his voice filled with relief. "Oh, is that all?"

"I'm so happy, Peeta." I whispered. "I never thought I could feel this happy again."

I felt Peeta smile with me, pressing his lips to mine. I needed them; I needed his touch and his taste, his warm soft lips feeling perfect against my own. It was salty from my tears but it was perfect, with Pearl gurgling in the background.

He pulled away too quickly. If it was me, I would've put Pearl to bed and made love all night, but I know that wasn't probably an efficient use of our time. I knew Peeta could sense both my need and my disappointment, but he only smiled.

"Dinner looks fantastic." He said, laying Pearl on the floor gently in between us. Her head was resting on a red square pillow, and I distinctively remember tossing it at Peeta in one of my daily rages. Oh how things had changed.

"You sound surprised." I laughed, handing him his bowl of rabbit, which he took gratefully. I handed him a spoon and some bread as he started to eat. I could tell he was starving, but he wasn't going to show it.

I took a bite of rabbit and it was heavenly, the spices Greasy Sae taught me were perfect. The carrots and potatoes melted in my mouth, and the corn was fresh and bright yellow. Peeta's bread topped everything off, and we ate in silence except for chewing and Pearl's sleeping gurgles.

Peeta took my bowl and gathered the dishes as I picked Pearl up and wrapped her in my arms, Peeta returning in a matter of seconds. We sat across from each other, looking down at the little sleeping bundle, everything illuminated by the flickering fire. Rain was tinkling against the windows as we sat quietly, giving her tiny kisses and running or fingers over her cheeks, her arms, her fingers, her little nose. She grasped onto Peeta's finger in her sleep, holding tightly like she had before dinner.

I had never been happier, and looking up into Peeta's eyes, I knew it was true for both of us.

Suddenly, the front door flew open and Haymitch appeared in the doorway, breathing heavily. A few specks of rain dripped onto the floor before he shut the door quickly, looking somewhat wild.

"Where is my Pearl? I want to see her!" He shouted, laughing with a huge smile on his face.

I couldn't help but beam back at him as Peeta took Pearl from me and helped me up off the floor. Haymitch looked very adorable as he slowly approached Peeta, looking both afraid and excited like he thought Pearl would hurt him.

"Do you want to hold her?" Peeta asked him as he nodded his head. He seemed unable to speak, and the same awe that filled Peeta's face was now transferred to Haymitch. He held out his arms steadily as Peeta gently picked her up and set her in them. She seemed to be at home there.

I was shocked to see traces of tears in Haymitch's eyes, but he passed them of quickly as he blinked rapidly, claiming he was trying to adjust to the darkness. He cuddled her safely in his arms, gently rocking her back and forth.

"She's so beautiful." He whispered, sitting down on the arm of the couch. "I can't wait to teach you everything."

Peeta's free arms were wrapped around me almost instantly and I felt whole. I felt complete.

"You guys did a pretty good job! I'm proud of ya." Haymitch laughed, still not taking his eyes off her.

"Thanks." I laughed, looking at Peeta, not sure if that was a proper response.

"How are you feeling, Katniss?" Haymitch asked, his eyes not leaving Pearl's face.

"I feel alright. Just sore and tired. It's very surreal." I told him quietly, wrapping my arms around Peeta's waist.

"And the birth was okay? No complications or anything I hope?"

"No, everything went well thank you." I smiled at him, laying my head on Peeta's chest. He rubbed my arm up and down, looking over at our daughter with an expression that gave me tingles.

Haymitch talked to Peeta for what seemed like a while afterwards, since he seemed to sense that I had spaced out a bit. I heard the rumble of their voices, but all I could do was look at my baby girl. Peeta's baby girl. Our baby girl. She reminded me of Prim, the first day I got to see her. She was just a little tiny thing back then.

Soon, Haymitch handed Pearl back to me, claiming that he didn't want to impose. He looked like he wanted to take her home with him. I smiled at the thought of Haymitch getting a baby crib ready for her, and yet I was instantly sad for him. He never got to experience this. He never had the overwhelming feelings that came with being a parent. It had always been just him, living alone in that big house, alcohol being his only friend. I tried not to let my sadness show, but I could tell that Peeta felt my split second of unhappiness.

We said our goodbyes, waving at Haymitch until we saw him enter his house a few meters away. The rain had stopped, and it was now a clear night, the moon shining down at us just like it did at the first games. I closed this out of my mind just like I did the front door, turning around to look at Peeta.

I knew his expression. He wanted an answer.

"Haymitch never got to be a father." I told him quietly. "He would've made such an amazing one, other than the drinking of course."

Peeta nodded. "He would've. But now he'll get to be an even better Uncle." He smiled, a smile that I returned gratefully. Even after all these years, my boy with the bread could still say the most perfect things and make them sound flawless. His eyes twinkled as he bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I whimpered quietly and disappointedly. That didn't satisfy me in the least. Peeta's smile grew as he laughed quietly at my frustrated noises, knowing what he did to me.

"He'll be Uncle Haymitch." I laughed suddenly, thinking out loud. That sounded funny to me.

Peeta laughed with me, pulling me close to him, being careful of the sleeping Pearl in my arms.

"I think it's time for bed." I yawned after a few moments silence, and he nodded in response. He grabbed my hand and we walked up the staircase and into Pearl's room.

The room was simple; I didn't want a whole lot of decorations or anything. It was a creamy off-white color except for the far wall. Peeta had painted a mural of a dandelion, covering the wall in splashes of both bright and light yellow. He had spent a couple days on it, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen him paint. It was so special to have that in her room, and it made it feel complete. The room also held a wooden crib and changing table that Peeta had made himself. He had also cut out each letter of her name and painted it yellow, like the dandelion in the mural, which was hanging over the crib. There was a rocking chair in the corner and a basket filled to the brim with Haymitch's blankets. The bookshelf was stocked with bedtime stories and the crib had another Haymitch creation inside. It was perfect.

We walked over to the crib, and I brought my lips to her tiny forehead, giving her a gentle kiss. She squirmed at my touch, reaching her hands up as if to grab me in a hug. I smiled as I handed her to Peeta, my arms instantly feeling empty and cold without her.

Peeta gave her a kiss on the forehead before she grabbed onto his finger. He brushed her cheek, and I'm sure if she knew how to smile, she would've. He bent over carefully, placing her gently into the crib, throwing Haymitch's blanket carefully over her tiny body. She looked so peaceful. She looked like a dream.

I wrapped my arms around Peeta's waist as his encircled my shoulders simultaneously, gazing down at our little girl. Our Pearl.

Eventually, Peeta tugged me silently and we left the room, holding each other in place of Pearl. "We'll be right down the hall." He reminded me, kissing my hairline gently. We walked into our bedroom and crawled into bed without even changing clothes. I just needed to be held. I needed his arms around me, his smell of cinnamon, his strong warm hands. I needed him.

I slid underneath the covers and he answered my unspoken plea. I knew he needed me, but I needed him just the same. His strong arms were wrapped around me instantly, and my head was on his chest. I gave him a small kiss on the neck, breathing in deeply. Yep. Cinnamon.

My ears were constantly on alert for any sort of cry coming from Pearl's room, but it was silent. She was such a deep sleeper, and I was hoping that she would at least sleep four hours in a row at night. Peeta already said he would always get up with her, and I smiled at his thoughtfulness, but it's not like he could do everything that needed to be done.

I heard Peeta breathe in like he was going to say something, but he never made another sound. I tilted my head up and gave him a kiss on the neck to let him know that I was listening. He still seemed to be contemplating, and I knew he wanted to ask me something.

"Yes?" I breathed so quietly he could've pretended not to hear me.

He hesitated again, but then went ahead with it. "Do you think our parents felt this way when they had us?"

I smiled into his chest. "I think so. I don't know how you couldn't feel this way."

"I know your parents did." He said quietly, and I instantly regretted what I had just said. This was about Peeta and his mother. I was such an idiot for not realizing that before. I cursed myself for my stupidity, not being sensitive to his feelings.

"Peeta…" I started, trailing off, trying to find the perfect words like always did for me, but I came up blank.

"I know my mother didn't. I can't see her acting this way about anything."

"You don't know that." I whispered, snuggling deeper into his chest. "I'm positive she was as happy as we are. No matter what happened to her, there is no way she couldn't have felt this… happy. Even if it wasn't for very long, I know she did. Mother's always feel this way." I breathed. I remember my mother talking about it, the mutual feeling that mothers share. I didn't understand it until just now.

I felt Peeta smile faintly, giving me a kiss on the forehead. I groaned in frustration, my heart telling me that I needed lots more of his love, but my brain telling me no. I know my body was too fragile right now, and I know that Peeta knew that. He wouldn't take it any further because he didn't want to hurt me. He just smiled down at me, giving me a deep kiss on the lips, swiping his tongue across the bottom giving me butterflies.

He stopped there, just like I knew he would, although he was still smiling. He knew what I wanted, but he cared about me too much to give it to me. I could tell it in his eyes, but I would be ready for love making soon enough. I could wait a few weeks, couldn't I?

He pulled me close to him and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I haven't been this close to him in at least nine months. I felt at home. I felt perfect.

"I like being able to hold you again." He chuckled, running a hand through my hair, twisting it beneath his fingers.

"I like it too." I smiled, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"I love you so much Katniss." He breathed, sounding somewhat desperate, like he needed me to understand.

"I love you too." I murmured into his chest, pulling myself even closer against him. I missed being this close to him. His arms were around me so tightly, but I needed the pressure and his warmth. I needed everything about my boy with the bread.

"Get some sleep." He smiled into the crook of my neck, his breath tickling my skin, making me shiver.

"You too." I whispered, closing my eyes and breathing in his sweet cinnamon scent.

Everything felt in place; the world made sense. I was here, Peeta was here, and most importantly we were together. We were both here with our little girl; someone who had a little of both of us in her whether she liked it or not. My heart was full and happy, beating steadily next to Peeta's. I was right where I should be, with the people that I love. And better yet, with the little girl that was proof of that love.

Our Pearl.


	9. Chapter 9

**Note from Adillae: Hello everyone! I'm very sorry for not updating, but I had an unexpected six-day-long stay in the hospital receiving hourly ice-baths to try and calm my fever and seizures! Soooooooo, that messed up all my plans, but hopefully things will be back on track now! I literally just got home, and the first thing I'm doing is uploading this right now! So my apologies for all of that! You've been rewarded with the longest chapter and tasteful lemons! (I can never write anything to intensely graphic… I can't bring myself to use those same horrific words over and over again. I apologize!)**

**Please keep reviewing and sending me messages, they made my hospital stay so much more enjoyable and happy! Thanks for everyones kinds words :) **

**Again with the English. I've had lots of practice this week, so hopefully everything is up to snuff.**

**I hope you have all had a lovely week and that life is splendid! Enjoy!  
>Sper că aţi avut cu toţii o săptămână frumoasă şi că viaţa este splendid! Bucuraţi-vă!<strong>

**P.s. I don't own anything. If I did I wouldn't be using my college money to pay off my huge-ass hospital bills. **

I heard a slight howl of wind and wrapped another blanket around Pearl, just to be safe. Her tiny little body was buried beneath three Haymitch throws, and it made her look like a chubby little mouse. I laughed to myself as her eyes opened, melting my heart instantly. She gave me a small smile, something that she had only just learned how to do, and it still looked somewhat goofy. The corners of her mouth would just slightly turn up, and she would open her mouth like she was going to say something. She did this every time one of us laughed, and lately I found myself laughing out of nowhere just to see her little smile that made me soar with happiness and pride. It was the silliest looking thing, but no matter how funny it looked, it was perfect.

She was already a month and a half old. Time was going by so quickly. She was gaining more weight each day, and she seemed to be growing faster than I ever thought was even possible. Her dark hair was starting to fill out a little more, but her bright blue eyes stayed exactly the same. If anything ever happened to them, I would feel so lost.

"Let's go see papa, alright?" I smiled at her, picking the round warm bundle in my arms and heading towards the door. She was staring at me happily, making tiny little gurgling noses, wiggling slightly in her mass of blankets.

It was a crisp October day, and the crunchy leaves were just starting to fall of the trees and flutter to the ground. The dry beginning of the summer had led to a wet end and left this October with clear blue skies and somewhat chilly temperatures. The trees were starting to look barren but the grass was still green, even though it didn't have much life left. The sun shone down from above illuminating everything in a soft orange light, and the wind was blowing gently. It was beautiful.

Haymitch was outside feeding his geese, and waved madly when he saw us. I walked over to him, a smile stretched across my face. Haymitch had really changed from the drunken, crazy person he was. Once we told him that we were having a baby, he sobered up almost immediately and found other hobbies to interest him. He told me that he wanted to be there for us, and for her, and he would really clean up his act. And he did. He only drank at dinnertime now, and it was only a glass or two. He cleaned up his house; he got his geese and his flourishing herb garden, and even took up knitting. He even had a room in his house turned into a nursery for Pearl, just in case he ever had to babysit so he would be ready within a moments notice.

I used to always feel bad for him. Everything he had ever loved was taken away from him. All he had to do was sit with the guilt and the pain in his big house, all alone with his thoughts and his alcohol. He had nothing to live for anymore, he once told me. Now that Pearl had come, there was joy again. He had a tiny little life that could look up to him, that would look to him for example and would need him. He took these thoughts and ran with them, and turned into the person he is today. Granted, the rough sarcasm, loudmouth comments and somewhat inappropriate jokes would always be a part of him, but I didn't mind. He didn't change his personality, just his act.

"Where are you two headed on this fine afternoon?" Haymitch smiled as I held Pearl out to him. He took her gratefully, cradling her in his arms. She smiled up at him and he bounced her slightly. She smiled whenever she saw him now. They had a connection.

"We're going to see Peeta at the bakery. I ran out of cheese rolls." I smiled, pulling one blanket up around her head to shield her ears from the wind.

"That sounds like a good plan." He smiled, not taking his eyes off her. I wished everyday that Haymitch would've been luckier. I wished that he had a wife and children. He deserved them so much. "Do you want to come over for tea when you get back?"

"Yes, of course." I smiled back at him as he handed Pearl back to me, a flicker of sadness in his eyes. "I'll see you around four?"

"Sounds perfect. I started another blanket and I should have it finished by then. I'll see you soon." He said, waving to us as he walked back over to his geese, throwing crumbs at them.

I walked the normal route to the bakery with Pearl in my arms. She was warm and happy, her eyes starting to look heavy. She finally closed them and drifted off once I rounded the corner. She slept like Peeta did. Her mouth was just barely open, her face was peaceful and calm. I was so grateful she didn't have nightmares.

I really was happy. Looking back to the rebellion and the games, I never thought I could feel this way again. I didn't know it was possible. But Peeta showed me how. Life was good, and dare I say normal? We were the lucky ones.

Every single child was outside taking advantage of the weather it seemed, playing street soccer in huge teams. Shouts and screams of happiness came from everywhere as they ran after the ball, their little legs taking off after it with such speed. I smiled as I walked by, a few of the girls walking over and politely asking if they could look at Pearl. I bent my arms down a little so they could see her sleeping face, and they giggled to themselves, their idea of a baby being a doll that you could put back in the closet when you were done playing with it.

They soon went back to their game and I rounded another corner, seeing the bakery at the end of the street, smoke billowing out of the chimney. My heart lifted, just like it did every time I saw it, and I dodged another few children with a ball on my way there.

I walked through the open door, just as Pearl's eyes fluttered open. She smiled again, turning her head from side to side but all she could see were blankets. I walked over to the counter where Peeta was cutting a loaf of bread, his eyes meeting mine and a smile erupting over his face.

"There are my girls." He smiled, setting down his knife and wiping his hands on his apron, coming out from around the counter. His blue eyes were sparkling brighter than ever.

I could still see the burn marks that covered his arm, and I felt a dull pang of sadness. His arm had healed some since he rescued those kids from the fire, but it was still far from better. It reminded me of the burns that ravaged our bodies from the bombings a couple years ago, and that only led to thoughts of Prim. His flesh was still healing, making it a nasty red color and making those memories all too real for me. I knew he was trying to hide it from me because he knew I couldn't help but remember Prim, those burn scars that cover both of our bodies, and the horrid sense of depression that went along with them. Will I ever deserve him?

He noticed me looking at his red, raw skin and quickly unrolled his shirt sleeve, hiding it from view. I blinked and looked up into his eyes, giving him a smile that he returned.

"We thought we'd pay you a visit." I said, taking a blanket off of Pearl's bundle and hanging it on the back of a chair. The oven made it so hot in here that she didn't need all of them. I took off my hat too, laying it on the seat of the chair as Pearl gave a gurgle. I turned around and Peeta was so unexpectedly close, pressing his lips to mine. My heart soared, his warm fingers brushing through my hair, igniting the dangerous fire. It was slow, gentle, calming, just like always. I suppressed a shiver as I pulled away, his eyes twinkling.

"Hi darling." Peeta smiled as I handed Pearl to him, capturing her in his arms and swaying her just a bit. She smiled up at him, her blue eyes twinkling with the same ferocity. She wiggled a hand out of her blankets, grabbing onto Peeta's tightly as he brought his head down to her forehead, giving her a tiny kiss.

"I missed you too, ya know." He chuckled, barely brushing his lips against mine. I ran my fingers through his blond locks, breathing in deeply. He smelled like strawberries. I tried to suppress a shiver that ran through my spine, Peeta's lips shooting electricity through me. I laid my hand gently on his cheek, feeling his rough stubble and giggling quietly to myself. He forgot to shave again this morning.

"Has it been busy?" I smiled after I pulled away.

"Very. It seems like every kid in District 12 has come in today with their pocket change, wanting to buy a pastry. They're playing soccer outside and I swear every few minutes their ball get's kicked in here on accident. I'm just glad their practicing because with aim like that, they won't get very far." He laughed, and I joined him, Pearl giving us both a smile.

Just on cue, a little ball came rolling through the doorway, a redheaded little boy a few paces afterwards. He ran in, grabbed his ball, and quickly gave Peeta an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry Mr. Mellark, Mrs. Mellark, but I'm getting better!" the little boy said, afraid that we would be mad at him.

Peeta just laughed, grabbing a few pieces of soda bread from the counter and walking over to the boy, handing them to him. "Keep practicing, and you'll keep getting better!" he smiled as the boy's face lit up.

"Thank you sir!" he shouted, running off to share his bread with his friends.

My Peeta. My boy with the bread. So kind, so thoughtful, so caring. He was always looking out for people, always wanting to help them or make them feel special. I smiled back at him, telling myself not to cry. I found myself being more emotional now, probably because of hormones. I didn't like it one bit. I never would've cried before, but now the littlest things can set me off. I opened my mouth to try to say something, but the words got caught in my throat.

"Can you stay?" Peeta asked, shaking me out of my trance. I shook my head as he handed Pearl back to me carefully.

"We are due at Haymitch's soon." I said, wrapping the blankets tighter around Pearl. Her eyes were getting heavy again. "We promised we'd have tea with him. He seemed so happy today." I added, looking down at Pearl and losing track of Peeta. "When you come home, I think we should—"

"Katniss, get Pearl out." He interrupted, and looked up quickly, only to see that he wasn't in front of me anymore.

"Peeta?" I asked, turning around the small bakery, finding him behind the counter. He was facing the wall, head hanging low. He was rigid, muscles clenched.

I seemed to go numb with fear. No, this can't be happening. I thought he was better. The last episode he had was months ago, before Pearl was born. The icy fear was sliding through my veins as I tried to approach him. I could feel my hands starting to shake. The look in Pearl's eyes was almost frightening.

"Get out, Katniss." He repeated, frozen. No matter what he thought, I wasn't leaving. I could help him, I knew I could. I wasn't going to leave him alone in this.

"No Peeta, I'm staying here—" I started as Peeta flew across the room, grabbing me by the shoulders. His eyes were black.

"KATNISS, GET THE HELL OUT!" He shouted, pushing me out the door and slamming it in my face. I heard the lock click as panic shot through me. What the hell was he doing? I heard the breaking of glass, the shattering of what was probably the display case. I heard the scraping of wood against the floor; things came crashing down with horrid thuds and cracks. Pearl was crying, screaming bloody murder as I banged on the door, screaming at him to let me in.

"Peeta!" I shouted, pounding on the door. I needed to get to him. I could fix him if he would just let me sing to him. Who knows what he could be doing in there. He could be hurting himself. "Peeta!" I screamed again, Pearl starting to wriggle in her blankets.

I tried to think of a song, wracking my brain, but it was slow with shock and fear.

"D-Deep in the meadow, under the willow, a b-bed of grass, a soft-t green p-pillow" I started, trying to sing loudly enough for him to hear. He didn't seem to register my voice, he just shouted for me to go away.

Haymitch. Haymitch could help, couldn't he? He would know what to do. I tightened my grip on the wriggling baby in my arms as I sped quickly through the streets, dodging children and balls as I rounded the corner into the Victors Village, my mind whirling. I was numb; I wasn't thinking and yet I was thinking everything all at once.

"Haymitch!" I shouted loudly, banging on the door as he pulled it open, a worried look in his eyes. The look softened once he realized Pearl was alright. "Peeta, he's in the b-bakery…" I trailed off, tears streaming down my face by now. I was absentmindedly bouncing Pearl, trying to get her to calm down but it wasn't working.

Haymitch grabbed her from my arms and she quieted down. He gave me a look that I couldn't really read and pulled me inside, shutting the door. What was he doing? Peeta needed us, did he not realize I wasn't over for tea?

"Haymitch, go help Peeta! He's having an episode, go make him better!" I screamed, pointing at the door, but he acted like he didn't hear me. "Haymitch, you better answer me!" I added wildly, looking like a mad person.

"Katniss," he started softly. "What do you want me to do? He just has to wait it out like always." He finished quietly, getting Pearl a bottle from the kitchen. "Just be glad that he's in the bakery and not on the street. He can at least control himself there."

"What?" I shouted, not understanding why he wasn't going and helping. "He's hurting himself, why don't you go help him—"

"Katniss there is nothing I can do! Pain is how he deals with it, alright. He will be better soon, and I'll go check on him in a little while but for now we just have to wait. Sit down and have some tea. It's not like this hasn't happened before."

_It's not like this hasn't happened before_. My arms were limp at my sides. I felt defeated, betrayed. Peeta needed him, and he was just going to stand by when he was hurting himself and so terribly alone? We were just supposed to sit here and drink tea while Peeta was in living hell down at the bakery? But, _it's happened before_, so does that make it somehow acceptable for us to not do anything? He's always been alright in the end, but I've never seen him this bad before, at least not in a long time. But oh_, it's happened before_. So who cares, right? I guess not Haymitch. I slumped in my chair, Haymitch setting a warm cup of tea in front of me. I didn't drink any.

"Just calm down. He will be fine."

His words were empty. They meant nothing to me.

We sat in silence for what felt like a long time, Pearl's crying calming down to soft gurgles. I sat frozen in my chair, my brain empty and worry pulsing through my veins. I knew Haymitch could tell I was spiraling out of control. He'd seen it so many times before.

"Katniss…" He started carefully. "Why don't you go home, and I'll take care of Pearl for a while."

I looked up at him, expression blank. So now he thought I wasn't even capable of taking care of my own child! He didn't think I was stable or sane enough! He thought I was as flimsy as paper, ready to blow away at any slight breeze. He didn't trust me with another life.

And I didn't either. I realized that he was right. I wasn't ready to handle Pearl, not right now. I felt ashamed, selfish, frustrated and useless. What the hell was I doing?

I got up without a word, slamming the door to Haymitch's house and walking the few meters over to mine, stepping inside and almost freezing. Since Peeta wasn't there, there was no fire in the fireplace and all the windows were shut, leaving the cool air in. My fingers touched the chilled doorknob and I slid down to the floor, landing in a messy, miserable heap.

I was _such_ an idiot. I was so stupid for thinking things were alright. I was such a moron for thinking that things were perfect and that nothing bad was ever going to happen again; that our lives were better and I would never be reminded of our past! It was always there, looming over our heads, ready to strike at any weak moment. Was I really naïve enough to think that everything was better? We would always be tormented by the games, by our pain and our sorrow, by our scars both physical and emotional. Just because we had a baby now doesn't mean that she would erase all of that.

Pearl. What the _hell_ was I thinking, me having a baby? I obviously wasn't strong enough or prepared! I brought her into this cruel world willingly, thinking things would be different. But all she got for a mother was a messed up, depressed, medicated crazy person with no experience or knowledge about anything other than how to kill people. I can't believe I really thought we were ready for this; we would never be ready for a child. Haymitch didn't want me around her when I was like this, but honestly I would always be like this whenever Peeta had an episode, or when we had flashbacks. Those struck at any random moment, how would he know? I would never be able to get away from this feeling, and I was so stupid for thinking that I could! Peeta would always still be having episodes, and I can't believe that I thought they went away! How stupid was I to think that we would be suitable parents?

I shivered against the door, welcoming the dulling cold feeling that was setting through my body. I was surprised that I could feel it, and I wanted more with each passing second. My hands got sore and were difficult to move but I relished the pain. At least I could feel something.

As much as I hated to admit it, Haymitch was right. Pearl couldn't grow up with someone like me, unstable and mildly suicidal. But I couldn't imagine my life without her. I was so incredibly selfish that I couldn't live without her or Peeta, and was I really willing to force them to live with me in their life in exchange for getting to see them? I was heartless.

I blinked through my tears and noticed one of Pearl's blankets and I struggled to get up, rushing forwards. I needed to touch it, to feel the soft cotton fabric and know that this wasn't all a dream. I stumbled and tripped over the end table, the glass top shattering into a million pieces. I fell into the pile, thousands of shards slicing my pink, scared skin.

I felt nothing.

I crawled the rest of the way across the living room and reached up onto the chair that held the white blanket, pulling it down and running it through my fingers.

Again I felt nothing.

I ran my hand over the intricate stitching, craving the fuzzy and warm feeling of the blanket, but I didn't feel it. I didn't feel anything; it was like I was holding onto air. The blood from my hands and arms was soaking the pure white fabric, staining it bright red. I continued to cry as I curled up against the wall, running my fingers over the blanket, needing to feel it, wanting to feel the yarn beneath my fingers.

I don't know how much time passed. The days bled into one another. The sun would set, and it felt like in no time at all it would be peeking over the horizon just to zoom across the sky and leave again, drowning the world in darkness. I lost track of how many days and nights there were. I sat on the floor, curled up with Pearl's blanket. My wounds had stopped bleeding a while ago, but they would start to dribble again if I moved at all. I hadn't eaten anything, too scared and depressed to move. Things felt like they had before. There was no hope.

I felt childish. I felt afraid. I was a coward, always running from things that scared me instead of fighting. I didn't want to see Pearl or Peeta because I knew that I needed them. It didn't make any sense and yet it made all the sense in the world. I was running, always running, frightened by the idea of a life without them yet wishing it would happen. Their lives would be so much better without me. I felt so divided, so conflicted. I needed them and I never wanted to be away from them, and at the same time I wish I would never see them again. None of this made sense. I kept going back and forth, back and forth in my head about what was right, what was best. But when have I ever been good at judging that?

Just as the sun was starting to set on another day that was wasted away, Haymitch appeared at the door, Pearl in his arms. His eyes met mine and I shut them instinctively. I didn't want Pearl here, because that would only make me want to hold her more.

"Katniss, get up." Haymitch said, pulling the blanket off of me, but I held on forcefully. I tugged and he eventually let go, sighing and placing Pearl down on the couch. She was asleep.

He tried again, pulling harder and finally ripping the bloody blanket off of me. I guess my days without sleep or food were starting to take its toll.

He stared blankly at my wounds as I sat up, my head spinning and my eyes watering. I hadn't been upright in days. My stomach clenched at the movement and my limbs were so stiff and sore. A few wounds on my arms split open again, dripping blood down my arm. Haymitch offered me his hands, helping me up. I instantly felt light headed, collapsing into his arms and trying to breathe steadily. I was a wreck. Peeta didn't deserve this as his wife.

"How long has it been?" I managed to cough out; my throat was dry as a bone, my lips cracked and painful. I hadn't used my voice for a while and it sounded foreign, small and squeaky.

"About six days." Haymitch answered, helping me over to the kitchen table where I sat down gratefully. So he didn't come for me, not even to check, in six days. I felt a rush of anger towards him that I knew I had no right to feel.

"Where's—" I started, but Haymitch shushed me, placing a glass of water in front of me.

"No more questions until you drink that whole thing, slowly." He said sternly, peeking over at the couch to see if Pearl was alright.

The water soothed my lips and throat, but felt so odd. I choked slightly, somewhat forgetting how to do this. I felt so stupid. Just look at the Mockingjay now.

"Here's the deal." Haymitch started once I set the empty glass on the table, staring at it blankly. "You're a mess. Peeta's a mess. You both don't want to see each other because you think it would be bad for the other one." He said in a somewhat mocking tone. "But I say to hell with that. You guys are just too stubborn and care too much about each other." He said, and I had to crack a faint smile for how true and how idiotic it sounded. "So get up, you're going to see him right now."

My eyes widened. "No Haymitch, I'm not." I couldn't see Peeta, not with him hurt and sad. That would just make me feel worse about how I've done nothing for the past week but curl up in a ball and cry. He didn't deserve my lame self, how could he possibly still love me after I abandoned everything and curled up to die?

"And why the bloody hell not!" he yelled. I could tell he was frustrated with us. I knew he hated playing this game.

"Because he doesn't deserve me." I breathed. I'm sure if I had any tears left, I would be letting them out right now.

He rolled his eyes, laying his hands on the back of a kitchen chair. "Oh, right. So he's not over there yelling at me to not come get you because _he_ doesn't deserve _you_, and he can't see you anymore because he might hurt you and Pearl. Yeah, okay."

Wait, what? Peeta doesn't want to see me because he thinks he'll hurt me? Can he ever stop thinking about that! Even if he did hurt me, I wouldn't mind at all, I honestly wouldn't. I know he never would, I trust him completely, even during one of his episodes. Call me crazy, but I did.

"Come on Katniss, I know you. You miss him, and he does too. I can tell you do. You need each other, alright? Just go talk to him, make him see reason. You're the only one that can do that. He needs you just as much as you need him." Haymitch whispered in a way that didn't even sound like him.

I got up slowly as Haymitch offered me his hand, making some wounds on my palms explode open. He ignored it and helped me over to the door, grabbing Pearl as we walked by. The wind felt strange on my face for the few seconds I felt it. Had I really been away that long?

Haymitch pushed open the door to his house and I walked in, slightly dizzy but forcing myself to think straight. Peeta was sitting at the kitchen table, a mug of tea in his hands. He looked horrible. His eyes were a dull shade of blue, his face full of pain and regret. His hurt arm looked redder than ever, and his hands were bandaged. He had a cut above his eye brow and a couple up and down his arms. He looked broken. He looked weak. He didn't look like my Peeta at all. He looked up at the sound of the door and made eye contact with me for a split second before getting up quickly, walking over to the window.

"Haymitch, get her out of here." He said quietly.

"Peeta, shut up. You two figure this out, alright. I'll be upstairs with Pearl, and if I hear any breaking glass or anyone screaming absurdities, I'll be down here faster than you can blink, got it? Now fix this." He said, taking a happy Pearl up the stairs, a children's book underneath his arm. I heard a door shut.

I stood there for a second, not knowing what to say or do. I just took in Peeta's appearance. It wasn't like him at all. But I probably didn't look like myself either, bloody and bony, face sunken in. I became self conscious, wondering why I didn't at least shower or comb my hair before coming over here.

Again I was left without a plan. What was I going to say? I relied on Peeta for these kinds of things.

"Katniss, will you please leave." He whispered. His tone cut through my heart, it hurt me more than the cuts on my arms.

"No." I said simply.

"Please." He breathed, his voice almost sounding teary, constricted.

I sniffed, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "Why?"

He hesitated. "I don't trust myself."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Peeta?" I said loudly, getting angry and again having no right to. Peeta didn't deserve to be yelled at, not right now. But to my surprise, he shouted back, whirling around to face me. He didn't even notice my injuries.

"I don't trust myself around you! That was a close enough call for me at the bakery! I don't want you near me anymore, not you or Pearl!" he shouted. His words stung me, leaving me confused. "God if something would've happened to you…" he added, mumbling to himself.

Of course he didn't want me around because he was afraid of hurting me. Would he ever think of himself? Why did he always think about me instead of what made him happy? I would never deserve him, not as long as I live. Tears were leaking out of my eyes as I sniffed again. "Peeta—" I started, taking a step closer to him.

"Katniss, stop!"

"Peeta, I don't understand what you are afraid of—"

"I could've killed you Katniss!" he shouted, pain overflowing his eyes. "Don't you understand that! I'm not safe to be around! I came this close to hurting you six days ago, do you think I could forget! I haven't thought of anything else! I don't want to take that chance, if I ever hurt you or Pearl, I don't even know how I would live with myself—"

"Peeta, stop it." I cried, walking forward and ignoring his wincing. "Don't you know that I don't care!"

"You don't care if I kill you?" he asked, an unreadable expression on his face. I knew he didn't believe me. Maybe I was crazy.

"You're not going to Peeta! I trust you, I know you; I know you wouldn't!" I shouted back at him.

He didn't respond. I seemed to make him speechless. I walked forward and grabbed his bandaged hands. His bare skin brushed against mine and I remembered. I remember how much I needed his touch, his fire, his warmth, his smooth skin. I remembered how much I needed him, everything about him. His touch sent electricity through my body.

Judging by his bandages, it looks like he both burned and cut himself. I cried at the thought of him hurting himself to keep in reality, to keep focused.

"You're not making this easy for me, Katniss." He whispered, voice heavy with emotion. I ignored this comment.

"Peeta, why do you do this to me?" I cried softly, not having the strength to look up into his eyes.

Again, he didn't answer.

"Seeing you hurt only reminds me of the games and all of those bad memories." I sniffed, brushing my fingers against the palm of his hand. His fingers flinched slightly, sort of like a reflex. I brought his hand up to my cheek, his fingers lightly touching the wetness underneath my eyes. He seemed frozen.

"Why do you love me?" I whispered, finally looking into his eyes. They seemed to be getting bluer with ever moment I was here. "Haven't you realized there are a thousand better people out there for you?"

Pain shot through his eyes. "Katniss, don't talk like that. You're the only one I want." He whispered. "I don't want anyone else. You're absolutely perfect."

I didn't believe one word of what he said, but I chose not to argue about it right at this very moment. "Then why do you want to leave me?" I breathed. "You promised me you wouldn't."

The pain in his eyes was so overwhelming that I could barely look at him. "I can protect you this way." He answered quietly.

"God, Peeta! I don't want protection! Don't you see that I'm willing to take the risk of dying if it means being with you! It won't be the first time!" I shouted, frustrated that he didn't understand. "I need you." I added quietly, starting a new wave of tears.

He seemed oddly speechless, staring at me painfully.

"If you think," I began, my voice slightly higher pitched from the tears, "that you are being helpful by leaving, then you're out of your mind. You'd be slowly killing me." I ended, my voice not much louder than a whisper. "Please, stay with me." I sniffed loudly, laying a scratched hand covered in dried blood lightly on his cheek, starting to cry again. "Stay with me."

His eyes looked like they were getting bluer by the second, like they were being drained of the pain. He was quiet for a moment, and I honestly thought that he wasn't going to answer me.

"Always." He whispered finally, twisting his head in my hand to kiss my palm. His lips were like fire, warm and tickling, his breath smelled like strawberries. He leaned his forehead against mine, and it took every ounce of strength in my body not to kiss him. I didn't want to push my luck.

"I love you so much Katniss." He breathed, his hand still lying on my cheek. "I love you more than anything. I hope you know that."

"I do; I know." I whispered, sniffing.

"And you love me. Real or not real?" he asked softly, and I swear I heard a trace of a smile in his voice.

"Real." I smiled as I heard Haymitch noisily stomp down the stairs. I turned my head around to look at the stairway and saw him peek his head around the corner.

"Just checking on you. I hadn't heard much, so I figured I'd just come see what's going on. Everything better?" He asked.

I looked at Peeta, and he offered me a faint smile, one that I returned.

"Perfect." He whispered, grabbing my hand with his bandaged one.

"Good, because this one's exhausted and needs her parents." He laughed, walking over to me and shoving Pearl into my arms. Her warm, sleeping body was so tiny and precious that I couldn't help but cry. Why was I blessed with her when I obviously didn't deserve her?

"I promise I'll do better. I promise I'll be a better mother." I said, turning around to Peeta, meeting his eyes. They were full of confusion.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked me quietly.

"I know I don't deserve you and Pearl, but I promise I will be better." I repeated, as Peeta started to shake his head.

"Katniss, don't say that. You're the best mother I've ever known. You're perfect." He whispered. His eyes were searching my face as Pearl gurgled in my arms.

There he was, making me speechless now. I didn't respond and he laid his hand on my arm, causing a few cuts to bleed. He pulled his hand back quickly, just noticing the state I was in.

"What happened to you Katniss?" he asked, looking all over my arms and hands, taking Pearl from my arms and looking at my hands, all bloody and raw.

"I-I fell." I told him honestly as he pulled me gently over to the kitchen, laying Pearl down safely on the counter. Haymitch seemed to have disappeared upstairs.

"There's glass grown into your skin… when did this happen?" he asked, picking at a scab, taking bits of glass out of my flesh. I couldn't feel it.

"Six days ago." I replied quietly, and he froze, eyes burning into me.

"You laid there for six days with glass-filled, bloody cuts and didn't get anyone to help you?"

"I couldn't feel it." I answered honestly.

"Katniss…" he breathed. "Why didn't you come get me?"

I blinked a few stray tears away, not wanting to talk about it. We just made things better, I didn't want to ruin it.

"Because I don't deserve you."

He sighed, frustrated. Now he knows how I feel.

"Will you stop with that? If anything, I don't deserve you."

"Let's call it even then; I don't want to argue anymore." I whispered, realizing how tired and hungry I was. I wasn't prepared to do anymore fighting. I just wanted to sleep and make love for the rest of the night; to get things back to normal.

"Hey… look at me." He whispered as I felt his fingers raise my chin to meet his eyes. "We aren't arguing. And even if we were, it's not because we're mad at each other. It's like what Haymitch told me. We are too stubborn and care too much about each other." He smiled, and I smiled too. Peeta was back. My Peeta was here, and I instantly felt better once I saw his sparkle was back in his eye. "If you ask me, that's a pretty good problem to have, if we have to have one."

I faintly smiled at him, leaning in and pressing my lips gently to his. I needed his spark and the feel of him; I needed his taste. I breathed in, smelling the familiar cinnamon and strawberries, and I couldn't help but think that things were back to normal. As normal as they would ever be for us, anyways.

Peeta pulled away and smiled before tending to my cuts, carefully pulling the glass slivers out and throwing them away carefully. Pearl was still asleep on the counter, her face peaceful and her heart shaped lips just barely open. I heard Haymitch stumble down the stairs loudly, alerting us at his presence and walked into the kitchen, smiling at how normal we seemed.

"You two have one well behaved baby on your hands." He smiled just as Peeta finished up with my cuts, wrapping them in bandages just as my stomach growled. I hadn't eaten all week, but I was past the point of starving that I wasn't hungry anymore. Peeta noticed my thin body and my stomach, and went to the bread box, handing me a cheese roll. I took it gratefully. It felt strange to have food in my stomach again.

"She is perfect, isn't she?" Peeta smiled, stroking her cheek. "These past six days were hell. I didn't see her or you." He said, turning around to look at me. "She's grown so much, even in six days."

"I didn't see her either." I whispered, looking up at Haymitch. "Thank you." I breathed.

He nodded once, a faint smile on his lips. "You two get home, take a shower, sleep for about twelve hours and drink lots of water."

This whole thing seemed turned around. Here Haymitch was telling Peeta and me what to do, helping us through things, making sure we were okay, pulling our practically dead to the world bodies from our houses and forcing us back together. It seemed like only yesterday we were both over here pouring water on his drunken self. So many things have changed.

"Would you like me to take her for one more night? You two need sleep. Continuous sleep." He smiled.

I looked at Peeta, and he was right. We did need sleep. "Yes please, would you mind?" I asked, trying to think of a way to repay him.

"Of course I wouldn't mind! Another day with my little Pearl." He smiled, picking her sleeping body up off the counter and holding her tightly in his arms. "Now you two go home." He smiled.

I kissed Pearl on the forehead before giving Haymitch a kiss on the cheek, and waited for Peeta to say goodbye. I knew he didn't like leaving her, but it was for our own good. We needed rest.

He grabbed my hand and we walked slowly back to our house, both of us exhausted and hungry. I pushed open the door with my leg, forgetting about how horrible it looked. There was blood everywhere, the glass from the table was still littering the floor, the shiny shards catching the light from the moon. I didn't want Peeta to see this. I didn't want him to see where I laid, helplessly for six days, welling in self-pity. I didn't want him to see where I gave up.

"Katniss…" he started, his voice trailing off, sounding constricted. His eyes swept the large room as he tried to speak. It felt like the walls were slowly getting smaller, threatening to close me in and the feeling was unnerving. I had to get out of here. I grabbed his bandaged hand and pulled him through the wreckage and up the stairs into our bedroom, shutting the door safely behind us, thinking that it would keep all the good inside and the bad out.

I felt Peeta's arm wrap lightly around my waist, giving my neck a gentle kiss and I couldn't help but sigh. We stayed like this for a while, just happy to be in each other's arms. He was warm and soothing, strong and supportive. How I ever lived without him for six days, I'll never know. He calmed me instantly, washing away any remaining fears that I had. I could do this. This could work.

"I'm going to go take a shower, I'll be right back. Will you be okay here?" he asked quietly after a long time, the moonlight pouring in through the window.

I nodded as he gave my neck one more kiss, then heading off to the bathroom. He was covered in a thin layer of dirt and his blond hair was filled with dust and glass. I wonder what he did for six days. I haven't asked him, but I'm not sure if I'm prepared for his answer. What if all he did was hurt himself? What if he didn't eat either? I tried to push the mental picture of Peeta collapsed on the bakery floor out of my mind.

I heard the water running, and I wondered how long I had spent just standing here, alone with my thoughts. I craved Peeta's touch, his lips, his fire. I glanced over my body, noticing how dusty and disgusting I was, reaching up to feel my hair matted together and greasy. I had a burst of courage that seemed to come from nowhere, but I didn't question it. I walked slowly into the bathroom, quickly shed my dirty old clothing and stepped inside the shower, placing my bandaged hand lightly on Peeta's shoulder.

"Ah Katniss!" he exclaimed, obviously not expecting to turn around and see me standing there. The water was so warm that it was steaming, making the air thick and hard to breathe. I smiled what I hoped was innocently up at him, the humid fog starting to make my skin feel slick and make my hair damp. I could see water droplets start to appear on my arm hair, trying to ignore myl slightly bleeding cuts. I stood up on my toes and brought my lips to his, running my hand through his newly washed blond hair. It was like a floodgate of tension was finally opened, the past week's events dissolving into our seldom-opened memory, only to be forgotten and forgiven. He relaxed and wrapped his arm carefully around me, pulling me close. His body was wet, warm and slippery, and I couldn't help but smile. He had taken the bandages off of his hands and I could feel his burns as they traveled down my body, earning a shiver even in the steaming water.

Peeta's hands ran over my shoulders, back and stomach as I deepened the kiss, trying to bring myself closer to him. I needed his fiery skin touching mine, starting the dangerous feelings at the bottom of my stomach. He trailed kisses down my neck and across my cheek, making me sigh. I brought my hands down and ran them over his arms, feeling the hills and valleys of his muscles. My breathing was speeding up, my heart beating faster and faster as I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down, even though I didn't want to.

Our hips were perfectly aligned and it was like nothing bad had ever happened, everything I had felt over the past six days was completely over and done. I wrapped both of my arms around his neck tightly, never wanting to move from this spot, water raining down on both of us from above.

"Peeta…" I whispered hoarsely as he pulled away, the want and pure need cutting through my voice. I knew he understood what I wanted, and as I took one look in those sparkling blue eyes, I knew that he wanted it too.

"Katniss, you're so tired. You'll slip and fall." He told me quietly, hardly audible over the rushing of the water.

"Let's go to bed and finish this then." I replied breathlessly. I didn't feel tired, not even a single bit. Adrenaline and pleasure were rushing through my veins, canceling out any exhaustion I felt only a few minutes ago. I wasn't going to rest until I got what I wanted, what I needed. I needed to feel whole again.

"You don't have to tell me twice." Peeta laughed as he turned off the water and lifted me up. Surprised, I held onto his shoulders tightly as he carried us over to our bed, setting me down nicely, both of us dripping water everywhere but I honestly didn't care. The tension between my legs was too distracting. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pinning him to me. His lips were like fire and I could feel myself blushing from intense pleasure. His hands and lips were everywhere, running over my new cuts without making them bleed. I whimpered as his fingers traced me almost lazily; it made me feel like I was going to burst. I arched my back, tightening my hold on him as I felt him press into me, pure pleasure overwhelming me. I wasn't expecting him so quickly, but I was certainly not complaining. I gasped breathlessly as he held himself up by his forearms, pressing his lips everywhere in warm, open mouthed kisses. How he managed to stay so calm and collected was beyond me.

'Peeta' seemed to be the only word that I could form. My heart was overflowing with love for him and I was feeling everything at once, forgiveness and happiness; I felt whole. I still couldn't get close enough as I pressed my body up tighter against his, needing his touch, running my fingers through his hair and earning a slight groan in return.

"Katniss, I love you." He murmured sweetly, kissing every bit of skin he could reach.

I don't think I could've formed a sentence if I wanted to. The things he was doing with his hands, with his lips, with his whole body were silencing me. He always knew just how to please me, how to make little sounds come from the back of my throat. Peeta's lips brushed against my collarbone as he continued to thrust steadily, making a hum of sorts escape my lips. Suddenly I felt whole body tense as I felt Peeta do the same, a feeling of complete happiness and euphoria washing over me. This was how things were supposed to be. Making love in the middle of the night because it felt right, it made us feel complete and whole again, like everything was perfect. It was proof of us never giving up, it was want and lust, love and need all wrapped up into one. It felt like I was losing consciousness, although full of so much pleasure and lightness. It seems like I couldn't breathe enough air into my lungs as I whispered Peeta's name into his shoulder.

Peeta collapsed next to me, breathing just as hard as I was, extending his arms out to me. I slid over gratefully, listening to his wonderful heartbeat that was pounding in my ears, feeling him hold me securely.

"I love you." I murmured into his skin as he ran his fingers through my hair. I grabbed his hand, our deformed, scared, painful and injured skin rubbing together and I couldn't help but smile. We had so many more scars on the inside, but I was never alone. Peeta was the only person who would understand what I'm going through; he knew about the scars and the pain. No, things weren't "perfect". No, we would never forget our past. It's made us who we are. No, life won't be easy. But both of us are scarred. We can be there for each other. We can help each other heal.


	10. Chapter 10

**Note from Adillae: Hello Everyone! Again, sorry with the late update! I got sick again and landed myself back in the hospital, and from there I had to be flown up to a New York hospital. I just got out today, so now I'm snowed in up here at my Aunt's house AND my grandparents are over visiting. So 'busy' is the understatement of the year! Thankfully I managed to find some writing time and some internet and the product is this chapter! I've been speaking 99% Romanian since my grandparents are here, so I'm sure this chapter doesn't flow as well as it normally does because of the translation but I'm still proud of it :) **

**So sue me for being a romantic and wanting Katniss and Peeta to be happy, but this chapter is (mostly) full of fluff and happiness. I just think they deserve to finally be happy and I think that they would eventually find that happiness with their children. Maybe that's just me seeing the silver lining, but I can see them making it in the end, you know. And oddly enough, Pearl is turning out a lot like my little sister Aekley :)**

**Please review and all that jazz, they have been keeping me company in this boring old hospital room with only one small window that just shows me more snow. Your comments make me so happy! I don't own anything, yatta yatta. **

**I ****hope you have a fantastic week that is filled with love and joy. Enjoy!  
><strong>**Sper că****aveţi****o săptămână****fantastic, care****este umplut cu****iubire****şi****bucurie****. ****Bucuraţi-vă****!**

A soft breeze blew through the window, making Peeta's hair tussle slightly. It smelled of the last honeysuckle of the year, crisp, clean and sweet. I nestled further into Peeta's arms, lying in the in-between state of sleep and awake. Peeta was playing with the ends of my hair, his arms protectively around me like always. Our legs were tangled together and I'm not sure whose was whose.

"Pearl was able to climb all the way out of her crib today." Peeta said after a long comfortable silence that was filled with the rustling of the leaves outside. "Only 13 months and she is like a little monkey. I knew she would climb like you." He chuckled.

I smiled, picturing Pearl zooming through the trees with a smile on her face. "As long as she can paint like you, that's all that matters." I told him, whispering as I looked up at him, a smirk of sorts on his face. I kissed the corner of his mouth as the wind blew again, cooling off the slightly warm room.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. Your mother called again." He said after he gasped quietly. "She really wants you to call her back."

I bit my tongue, trying to hold back any mean retort that I might have in me. Mother, hiding away in District 4, not even contacting me until she heard about Pearl through the grapevine. I was angry at her for abandoning me especially when I needed her the most. At first I sent her a letter, but she never responded. I waited a while and then tried to call her, but she never answered. After that, I was too stubborn and hurt to care anymore. If she wasn't going to make an effort, then I wasn't going to. I completely cut her from my life, and it seemed like it worked for both of us. But somehow, she found out about Pearl. I'm suspecting Greasy Sae told her. Then she wouldn't stop calling, writing letters that I never opened. She was dying to see her, but I held my ground. If she wasn't going to be there for me, she wasn't going to be there for Pearl. Peeta tried to talk some sense into me, but he stopped once he saw how adamant I was. We had moved on, and now there was nothing left between us.

"Katniss, she sounds so desperate." He whispered, he warm breath tickling my face. "Would it really hurt to just call her back? Just one time, just to see what she wants—"

"Yes Peeta, it would." I interrupted, harsher than I what I intended to sound like. "Can we just not talk about it?"

"Sure." He breathed, rubbing my arm soothingly, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind him even in this warm room. "All I'm saying is that you can't hide from each other forever. Just think about it."

I didn't feel like arguing with him, he had done nothing wrong anyway. I just nodded and agreed with him since that would be easier, while inside my head I told myself I had already made up my mind. He seemed to be pleased though, sighing softly as the curtains over the window fluttered in the breeze.

"Mama?" I heard a voice say suddenly from the door as Peeta and I sat up quickly in bed. Pearl was standing by the doorway, tears shinning in her eyes as she crawled into our room.

"Pearl, honey, what's wrong?" I asked her, even though she wasn't able to form complete sentences yet. She knew a few words, but other than that she just liked to babble, stringing lots of sounds together to form what she thought were sentences.

She pulled herself upright using the bed and I could see she was crying. Those eyes were looking back at me with such pain and hurt, tears flowing down her face. It was almost too much. Her dark hair was slightly ruffled; she must've had a nightmare.

I quickly swooped her up into my arms, as she cried louder, babbling away incoherently. I looked up at Peeta; his eyes were filled with such sadness as he reached out and rubbed her back gently. We had never dealt with this before. Pearl had never cried like this; she had never seemed upset before. I was trying to remember what mother had done for me, for Prim, but I was coming up blank. What was I supposed to do with her?

Peeta seemed to notice my confusion and slowly took her from my grasp, holding her tightly against his chest. Her head was leaning on his shoulder as she grabbed onto him tightly, eyes red from crying and nose starting to run. I pulled open the drawer of my nightstand and grabbed a tissue, messily wiping her nose and her face as Peeta whispered reassurances to her. She had been crying so much that her babbling was coming out in chunks and in-between gasps of air, her sobs making it hard to both breathe and talk. How were we supposed to know what happened when she can't tell us?

She reached a short chubby arm out to me, grabbing onto my hand as her sparkling blue eyes leaked more tears down her angelic face. Her grip on my hand was so tight it almost scared me.

Peeta was drawing shapes into her back, and this seemed to calm her down more than anything. I could tell her eyes were getting heavy, her grip on my finger would slowly get weaker before she was jolted back into her death grip. Peeta seemed to notice this too, and he laid her down in-between the two of us. She took her free hand and grabbed Peeta's hand, now holding onto both of us like we were her lifeline. Her eyes were glossy and red, and she had definite tear tracks down her cheeks. Her neck was soaked, and I took out another tissue and tried to dry her a little so she would at least be more comfortable.

"You can sleep right between Mommy and me. We won't let anything get you, alright?" Peeta whispered to her, brushing a hand over her hair as she nodded. She seemed to understand. "This is the safest spot in the world, right here."

My Peeta, my boy with the bread who always knew what to say. I had to smile a little bit at least, knowing that she had the best father in the whole entire world. She was so lucky, and so was I. I seemed to be falling in love with him all over again, however silly it seemed. Peeta was still shushing her, using his free hand to rub her stomach calmly. Her babbling was reduced to a whisper, and I could only understand one word.

Scary.

I looked up at him, wondering where she would've learned that word, but he seemed just as surprised as I did. Looking down at her in her yellow nightgown that was wrinkled and wet from tears, her dark hair knotted and her bloodshot eyes still filled with tears, it took every ounce of strength I had not to cry. This was my little girl, this was a part of me, and she was scared. She wasn't supposed to be scared; I had been scared enough for her in my life. She was supposed to have a happy, care free life. I could tell by the look in Peeta's eyes that he was thinking the same thing.

She soon fell asleep, one arm attached to each of us as if she was completing the circle. Peeta still rubbed her stomach gently and I still smoothed her hair even though we knew she was asleep, it was almost like we were afraid to stop.

Peeta placed a small kiss to my forehead, just barely brushing his lips against my warm skin as I looked reassuringly into his eyes. He gave me a faint smile in return as he looked down at Pearl who seemed to be peacefully asleep and he sighed in relief.

"She's alright Katniss, go to sleep." He breathed.

I looked down at her tiny sleeping body, her chest rising and falling calmly. "You too, Peeta." I whispered, leaning over Pearl to press a kiss to his warm lips, pulling away too quickly. "Goodnight." I told him quietly.

"Goodnight Katniss." He replied softly.

I closed my eyes that were heavy with tiredness and eventually falling asleep; Peeta, Pearl and me all together in a messy heap on our bed. I never wanted this moment to end; all of us snuggled together, savoring each other's touch and warmth.

I must've been more tired than I thought since I awoke to bright rays of sunshine streaming in through the open window. I stirred, reaching my hands out to try and feel Peeta or Pearl, but all that greeted me was an empty bed. Soft screams of happiness and the pattering of feet from downstairs made its way to my ears as I smiled, throwing the covers off me to get dressed in a simple shirt and pants. My hair was being difficult this morning so I stuck it in a long braid that reached halfway down my back, just wanting it out of my face.

I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where Peeta and Pearl were making breakfast. Every single window in the house was open as Pearl sat on the counter wearing a green sundress, legs hanging over into the sink while Peeta was making pancake batter. He was handing her empty egg shells and she took them gladly, throwing them into the sink with a huge smile on her face. He continued to whisk the batter together, adding certain ingredients as he handed her bits of fruit that he had cut up just for her. She laughed every time he handed her something which made Peeta smile so happily that it gave me butterflies. Every once and a while he'd lean over and plant a kiss on the top of her head which made her shriek with laughter. She seemed to be telling Peeta some sort of story, babbling away continuously, none of it making any sense but she seemed to be very proud of herself. Peeta just nodded every once and a while, like he was listening to her gripping story and she went on and on, stringing together random sounds and bits of words. She never really grew out of the babbling stage.

I couldn't help but smile as I came out from around the corner, wanting to just sit and watch what was going on in front of me. Pearl waved happily at me from her spot on the side of the sink as she stuck a few pieces of strawberry into her mouth, kicking her legs wildly. Her blue eyes were twinkling and she looked as if nothing bad had happened last night.

"Good morning Mommy." Peeta smiled, pouring pancake batter onto the griddle on the stove. It smelled heavenly.

"Good morning." I smiled back, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before going over to Pearl and swooping her up into my arms. "Good morning, Pearl." I told her, giving her a big kiss on her forehead that makes her giggle. Her mouth and hands are sticky with strawberries, her lips and teeth bright red but she still insists on giving me a sloppy kiss. I laughed as I wiped off the strawberry residue onto my hand, going over to Peeta and wiping it on his cheek. He makes a noise of fake disgust before rubbing his cheek onto mine, spreading strawberry everywhere.

"Ah, Peeta!" I shriek as I try and squirm out of his arms as Pearl giggles uncontrollably, watching the two of us with a sparkle in her eyes.

All Peeta does is smile back at me before licking the fruit off my cheek and I squint my eyes, trying not to laugh since that would just cheer him on.

"Peeta!" I laugh, trying to push him away, but he releases me freely after a few moments to go flip the pancakes. I can't stop smiling, my heart still fluttering slightly as I walked over to Pearl's high chair, placing her carefully in it and going over to the stove to cut some pancake for her. She continues to babble on in her chair and it quickly turns to singing.

"You better not start that Pearl, or some boy's going to fall in love with you." Peeta smirked as I looked up from cutting pancakes. The look in his eyes gave me chills all the way down to my toes, making me shiver slightly as I felt his warm hand lightly touch my elbow. He placed a gentle kiss to my temple, murmuring something I couldn't quite understand into my skin before returning to his pancakes.

We were still broken. The nightmares still messed with our minds during the night, making us confused about what was real and what wasn't. We still needed to hold each other; we still helped each other with our flashbacks and horrible memories. It seemed like more things were triggering them each day. None of that had changed. Peeta still had his episodes, but nothing was as bad as the one that caused him to have to rebuild the display case in the bakery. Thankfully that was the worst one. They weren't happening as frequently, but they still ravaged his brain every so often. We would never be truly healed. But for us, life was pretty great to be honest. We smiled so much more than before; we laughed and felt so free. I would never get used to the foreign feeling, but I never wanted it to end. Pearl brought such joy to a situation, no matter how troublesome. When nightmares, flashbacks, episodes or bad memories were haunting us, Pearl made us so happy.

Happiness. Something I didn't think that I could ever feel again, and yet it seemed to radiate from her mere presence. Everything she did made us smile. She was happy, healthy, giddy and mostly nightmare free. She made things brighter; she made things easier to cope with. She didn't know why sometimes Mommy and Daddy would cry, scream, shout, sing and cling onto each other, but she was always right by our side when something happened, always there to bring comfort. It's like she knew an episode or a flashback was coming; it's like she had a sixth sense. Whenever something was about to happen, she would start to sing, always the same little song she made up. She would cling onto our legs and would stay there the whole time no matter how much we wanted her to leave and not witness what the Capitol had done, but she wouldn't budge. She stayed there and helped us through it. She was perfect.

"Katniss?" I heard Peeta ask as I jumped out of my daze. He was holding out a plate of pancakes to me, a slightly concerned look in his eyes that I quelled with a smile. I took the plate gratefully as I set it on the table, giving Pearl her bits of pancake. She clapped her hands wildly before she started to eat with her strawberry covered hands.

Breakfast was delicious of course and was filled with laughter and smiles. Pearls laugh was addicting and when added with the ongoing game of 'footsie' Peeta and I had going on under the table, I could hardly keep a straight face. How some things have changed.

Peeta started to wash the dishes as I lifted Pearl out of her chair, syrup and strawberries all over her face. I brought her to the sink and set her down on the edge as she dangled her feet in the soapy water that Peeta was using to wash the dishes. I wet a washcloth and tried to clean her squirming face which was quite the difficult bath. For some reason Pearl wasn't a fan of baths. She liked being dirty, she liked playing outside in the dirt and mud with Peeta. Getting her into her bath was a small battle in itself, the only way to make her like it was to make it a bubble bath since she liked to see Peeta give himself a bubble-beard.

I couldn't help but smile as Peeta took Pearl in her arms and begun flying her around the room like she was an airplane, making the sound effects as she held her arms out, giggling loudly. They settled on the couch as she grabbed a book, thrusting it into his arms as he giggled.

"Would you like to hear the story too, Mommy?" Peeta asked as Pearl whipped her head around to give me a hopeful look.

"No, I'm going to go hunting for a while. You two have a good time." I smiled, giving each of them a kiss. "I'll be back for lunch." I yelled behind me as I shut the door, my bow in hand.

The walk to the woods was calming and soothing. Hunting made everything feel right; it was what I was meant to do. I was meant to be in the woods with the trees and the animals and the fresh air. It was a beautiful day, and now I know why Peeta had all the windows open. The breeze smelled heavenly and wasn't too chilling; the sun was bright and warm but not too scorching. The trees provided just enough cool shade, their brown leaves rustling in the breeze, a few fluttering down to the ground. Birds were singing cheerily and squirrels were scurrying across the grassy floor, not knowing that they would be dinner tonight. My bow felt at home in my hands as I brought it back, letting an arrow go and hitting a rabbit straight in the eye. I sighed, taking in the smell of the forest, my forest.

I managed to shoot a few more rabbits and a couple squirrels before I decided to head back, noticing how high the sun was and remembering my promise to be back for lunch. The walk back was as uneventful as the walk there, but I liked the quiet streets better than the bustling ones when I was walking home. Sometimes crowded streets made me nervous. They reminded me too much of the Capitol and the bombings.

I rounded the corner to the Victors Village and was amazed by how nice our house looked. They used to just look like empty houses with no life to them, just walls and doors and windows. Now however, with all our windows open, clean white curtains blowing in the breeze, a nice garden of Primroses in the front next to a table and a few chairs, Pearl's ball lying on the ground, it looked like it had a life to it. I could hear the shouts of laughter and giggles all the way from the street, and I could see Peeta chasing her through the open windows. The house was alive.

And so was Peeta. He was more alive than I had ever seen him. He had a little child to be brave and strong for, he had someone to teach and someone to share the kind of affection I could never give him, the warm love of a child. He almost always had a smile on his face; he was always so eager to show her something new or see her face when exciting things happened. He was wonderful with her, and they had such a strong connection.

"Mama!" I heard Pearl say happily as I opened the front door and walked into the fresh, cool house, sliding my hunting jacket off my shoulders and laying it on the chair. She was attempting to crawl away from Peeta, but he picked her up easily and covered her in kisses and tickles, making her wriggle and giggle.

"Hi Pearl." I laughed, giving her a quick kiss on the head as Peeta brought her into the kitchen and set her on the counter. "What did you guys do while I was gone?"

"Well we read a few books, attempted to clean the living room but just ended up playing hide and seek and tag." Peeta smiled, looking over at the counter where I had just set my game. "Looks like you've been busy too."

I nodded, flipping a few stray hairs out of my face. "It's such a nice day, it was almost too easy. At least we have dinner for the next few nights." I told him, starting to skin a rabbit and prepare it for dinner.

"I'm glad." Peeta smiled, brushing a few fingers up and down my arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake. "I'll get started on lunch." He told me, pulling a few cheese rolls out of the bread box and slicing some fruit. Pearl eventually climbed off of the counter and crawled over to her blocks on the floor and began to play, babbling the whole time. The way she managed to climb around without hurting herself was still a surprise to me. Peeta was right, she was a little monkey.

"Do you want to go get Pearl and set her in her chair? Lunch is ready." Peeta smiled as I put my clean knife away and walked over to where she was stacking her colorful blocks on the floor. She didn't have many toys; she only played with a few things and didn't always need to be entertained. She could entertain herself by just climbing or singing or watching. Thankfully she wasn't too difficult. I grabbed her gently in my arms as she knocked her tower down, laughing as the blocks fell to the floor in disarray.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and it caught me off guard. No one ever visited us here except Haymitch or Greasy Sae, and both of them would know to just come right inside. Fear started to trickle into my veins and I knew I was overreacting. Would it be someone with cameras? Would it be someone who had a part in the rebellion? Or would it just be someone from town? I glanced at Peeta, not sure what to think, but he didn't seem to be too concerned.

"Katniss could you get that? My hands are full." He shouted from the kitchen as I clutched onto Pearl tighter, slowly making my way to the door, afraid that if I touched it I would get electrocuted. I took a deep breath and heaved the heavy door open.

"Hey, Catnip." The deep voice said as I met Gale's cool grey eyes, shocking me so much I almost forgot to breathe.

Gale. _Gale?_ What the hell was Gale doing here in District 12, let alone at my house! He was supposed to be a big shot back in District whatever, I'd lost track and honestly didn't care. He stood there with a smile on his face and it almost made me angry.

Gale. After the rebellion, I cut ties with him. Some part of me blamed him for Prim's death, and I was still too hurt and childish to completely understand our complicated situation. He was my hunting friend, he was just my _friend_ and he had _betrayed_ me. He had made those bombs that took Prim away from me forever, and even though I knew it wasn't completely his fault, I couldn't help but place all the blame on him. He called me constantly but I never answered; he wrote me letters at least once a day, letters that I never bothered to open. I knew what they would say: I'm sorry, forgive me, I didn't mean to, I miss you. Crap that I knew he didn't mean, he would just tell me to get on my good side again, a side that might lead to love. But he didn't understand, he _doesn't_ understand. I need Peeta, not him. I realized that it was never meant to be him. He eventually stopped trying to get a hold of me and I stopped caring, a relationship that seemed to work for the both of us. He had to know that I was with Peeta; he had to know about Pearl. Even if he didn't, why wait all this time to come see me? I'm sure he was off with some pretty girl that would look good next to him and his big shot job he probably had now. He just made me frustrated.

Something about him, even just his presence, leaves me with a feeling of desperate survival. So much of my childhood was spent with him trying to barely get by, hunting to support our families, living from day to day. It was pure survival. He made me feel childish, he made me feel immature and inexperienced, and I hated the feeling.

"Gale?" I managed to choke out stupidly, as Pearl went immediately silent at my side. She was looking up at him curiously, like she didn't know what to make of him. She wasn't always the greatest with strangers, and Gale was definitely a stranger to her. I felt Peeta's warm hand on the small of my back and I let out an internal sigh of relief. Peeta would know what to do; he would know what to say.

"Hi Gale, haven't seen you in a while." Peeta smiled, reaching out a hand that Gale shook gratefully.

"Yeah, yeah it has been a while. It's nice to see you again." He replied, and I felt a flicker of anger. So Peeta and Gale were all friendly and on good terms, were they? Had they settled something without my knowledge? Did they converse behind my back?

"Would you like to come in? We just made lunch." Peeta offered, and Gale nodded, a smile on his face.

"Yes please, I would love to." He said as I stepped out of his way, his large body brushing past me into my house, making the cheery cool feeling it had seconds ago completely disappear. Gale in my house… Peeta's house, our house… It didn't feel right. Gale and Peeta never mixed well in my head, not even now.

"Who is this?" Gale smiled as he reached out a finger to Pearl's cheek, brushing it slightly. She cocked her head to the side, still trying to read him, to decide if she liked him or not.

"This is Pearl." I told him quietly as I found the will to shake out of my daze. I set her down in her chair and gave her a plate of fruit and bread that she started to eat, still keeping a wary eye on Gale.

"So, what's new?" He asked, thanking Peeta as he set down a plate of fruit and bread in front of him.

What's new? After all these years of no conversation, no communication whatsoever, and you show up at my house and ask 'What's new'?

He must've understood my facial expression since he reworded his question. "What are you doing now? What are your lives like?"

I tried to open my mouth, but words wouldn't come out. I felt… I didn't know what I felt. I was confused. I looked over at Peeta for help, and he quickly saw all the distress in my eyes and opened his mouth to answer.

"Well I still run the bakery and Katniss hunts about every day, and any other free time we have we spend with Pearl." He told him simply, giving Gale a smile. I hated this small talk, but I didn't know what to say, all my words were getting lost inside my jumbled head.

"That sounds wonderful, I'm glad things are back to normal." He smiled back, taking a sip of water that I wanted to knock out of his hand. Having him at my table just felt wrong.

"So what are you doing now Gale?" I asked, my words coming out harsher than I thought, but I didn't care too much what he thought of me now. He didn't mean anything to me anymore other than childhood memories.

"Well I'm working in the new defense department with Beetee, and long story short it's going very well." He smiled, his eyes meeting mine for a split second. I knew he didn't want to talk about it anymore since he knew I blamed him for Prim, and saying anything else would just set me off.

The rest of lunch passed in simple conversation mostly between Peeta and Gale while I sat trying to figure out my feelings. I was confused to why he was here, confused to why he even wanted to see me. I thought I had made myself clear with not wanting to see him anymore… But I had realized that it wasn't his entire fault and I did feel slightly bad for just shoving him out of my life since after all, he was Gale.

"Katniss, do you want to go for a walk? You know, talk about some things?" Gale asked me after we had cleaned up lunch. He didn't seem very composed, and that worried me.

I looked over at Peeta, hoping he would make up some excuse for me not to go, but he just smiled at me and took Pearl out of her chair. "I think I'll go put Pearl down for her nap. You two have fun." He smiled as he gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked up the stairs. I tried not to let it seem that I didn't want to talk to him but Gale, even after all these years, knew me all too well and could still read some of my emotions.

We walked out the door and I hoped he couldn't hear my head buzzing from my rapid thinking. I decided to let him set the topic since Peeta wasn't here to save me with speaking. It seemed like he wanted me to talk first, but he eventually caved once he realized I wasn't going to say anything. He looked the same, his dark hair and grey eyes and the stereotypical Seam look we both shared. For a second I longed for my childhood of hunting in the woods next to him, his scent of leather and pine bringing back memories. His smell used to be so comforting to me, back before the games, but I realized that I longed for the smell of cinnamon and strawberries.

"I'm glad you have put your life back together. Things seem to be working out for you." He starts off vaguely, and I felt his eyes travel over my face. I tried not to blush as I thought of an answer. I came up blank so I just nodded.

"You seem happy." He added, kicking a rock out of his way. "And Pearl is just adorable."

"She's perfect." I answered simply, trying to avoid his face.

"And I'm glad to see that—"

"Why are you here, Gale?" I interrupted, the words seeming to burst out of my mouth.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. You never answered any of my calls or my letters—"

"And you didn't take a hint?" I yelled.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Katniss, you're my friend, I wanted to see how you were! Is that such a horrible thing?"

"You're my friend?" I shouted, stopping dead in my tracks. "Last time I checked, friends don't kill their friends sisters!"

He stopped too, his grey eyes full of pain and regret. He looked down at the floor, his dark hair blowing in the slight wind. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out, just a rush of air. "I'm sorry about Prim Katniss, I-I didn't know…" He trailed off. "Is that why you didn't answer my letters?"

I blinked the hot tears out of my eyes, crossed my arms and looked up at the blue sky. This time I was the one that didn't have an answer.

"I was worried about you! I wanted to make sure you were alright! Is that such a horrible thing! You were writing to your mother, you were calling her! Why couldn't you have done the same for me?" He shouted as anger boiled up inside of me again.

"How did you know I was writing my mother?" I asked him, shocked that he knew.

"I went to visit her Katniss, I saw the letters myself!"

So mother let Gale come stay, but not me? What was that supposed to mean? This was only making me more confused, I didn't need to have this conversation right now. I turned around and started to make my way back to the house, but Gale followed me, pulling me back.

"Katniss I'm sorry, I'm so damn sorry about everything alright! I just, I love you okay, and I had to make sure that you were alright if you weren't going to answer my calls or letters!" He said, his voice breaking.

"Gale…" I started, sighing, wishing he hadn't said it. He confirmed my fears. Did he come to win me back, even though I had Peeta and Pearl now? Was that his real reason for coming? "Gale, don't say that…" I trailed off, avoiding his glance.

I heard his feet shuffle, and before I could register what was happening, he took my face in his hands and pressed my lips to his. They were firm and cold, not like Peeta's at all. They were foreign and had probably kissed a lot of girls back in whichever district he was in. They felt odd, especially when mixed with the leather and pine smell of my childhood. It was too much, my brain was overloaded with emotions. I wriggled out of his grasp.

"Gale…" I started again, wanting to pretend like that didn't happen.

He sighed again, his hands on his hips. "I'm sorry I… I just had to know that you are sure."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I shouted.

"Do you think you picked the right guy, Katniss? Did you even see a slightly possibility of a life with me? What if Prim was here, what if there was no bomb!" He questioned, the look in his eyes unreadable.

"I have Pearl now Gale, did you not even think of her!" I yelled at him and he rolled his eyes again.

"What if there was no Pearl! Before there was Pearl, if there was no bomb, would I even have a slight chance with you?" For a quick moment, he looked just like the Gale from before the games. He looked like we just came out of the forest hunting together, like he was a little boy again, my hunting partner. He looked vulnerable and only then did I notice the bags under his eyes.

"I-I…" I didn't want to think about this, I didn't want to think back to that horrible time of our lives. I had closed that chapter a long time ago and I didn't dare open it unless it was in my nightmares. "Gale, I'm sorry but I chose Peeta, I choose him. I love Peeta, and I love you too but it's not the same way…" I trailed off. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Even if I did blame him for Prim's death, he was still Gale and I knew that he wouldn't have done it on purpose, he was just an easy scapegoat. "I'm so sorry. I know you didn't know about Prim, I know it wasn't your fault—"

"No, it's okay. You had a right to blame me, I'm sorry. I just can't help but wish that sometimes life would've turned out differently for the two of us. I know you can't picture yourself with me and I respect that, but I still want to see you, Katniss. And I'm glad you're happy, because that's all I wanted, even if you weren't with me."

"I'm sorry for not answering your letters." I told him quietly.

"It's alright. I know it was a difficult time for you. And I'm sorry for just barging in unannounced, years later, but I just had to see you." He whispered.

"I'm glad you came…" I trailed off, not sure if I said it to make him feel better or if I really did mean it.

"I'm glad I did too. Just please, let's not be angry with each other. I'm more than happy with being just friends with you." Gale told me quietly.

I smiled up at him and nodded, the feeling of being friends with him again was oddly calming. It didn't bother me like I thought it would. "Just give me time." I breathed, and he smiled in response. "Are you staying for dinner?" I asked.

"I would appreciate it. My train doesn't leave until 9:00 tonight." he smiled down at me as we turned around and headed home.

We hadn't gone as far as I thought, and it didn't take us that long to get home. Gale filled the time by asking all about Pearl: what she liked, what she didn't like, her favorite food, favorite color, funny things that she did. I couldn't help but wonder if he wished she was his, but I couldn't think about that. I chose Peeta and I was very happy with my decision. I felt no reason to think it had been a bad one.

Peeta and Pearl were outside rolling a ball around and Haymitch was outside with his geese, throwing them bits of crumbs and watching them scatter after them. I could hear Pearl laughing about something and I looked over to see her crawl to the geese, petting their soft feathers. Her eyes were so blue and full of life and I thanked my lucky stars again that she hadn't turned out with my dull grey eyes.

"So Gale, are you staying for dinner?" Peeta asked, wiping his hands on his pants. It looked like they had been gardening a little too, and I figured Pearl would jump at the opportunity to get messy.

"If that's alright. My train leaves at 9:00, so I won't be intruding for too long." He smiled, a smile that Peeta returned. I was so grateful that they were civil.

"I'm going to start dinner." I told them, noticing how low the sun was in the sky, the light starting to bleed to pinks and purples. "Do you want to get Pearl washed up?" I asked Peeta, not envying his job. Peeta had a special way with her though, he could get her to take a bath where as I would spend the whole time being splashed. "Gale you could help too, if you wanted."

"Sure, that'd be great." He smiled as Peeta went over to grab Pearl, the three of them heading inside.

Pearl was still slightly wary about Gale, and she kept one eye on him for the entirety of dinner, looking up at him every time he laughed or talked with confusion in her eyes. Conversation seemed to flow between the three of us, and that wasn't a normal thing that would happen to me when it wasn't just Peeta at the table. Gale told us more about his life, and he even told me about my mother. She was in living in District 4 and was helping with a new hospital, just trying to keep busy. I didn't want to hear anymore about her, and I think Peeta could tell since he switched the conversation back to Gale's new job.

When he had to say goodbye, Pearl managed to give him a faint smile and a kiss. He looked touched as he handed her back to Peeta, who then shook hands with him.

"Thanks for stopping by. Come see us again soon." Peeta smiled, cuddling a sleepy Pearl in his arms.

"Thank you, it was nice to see you again."

"By Gale." I told him, nodding my head. I hoped he didn't step forward and hug me, but I could tell he didn't want to push it and I thanked him for that.

"By Catnip, thanks for everything." He said as he opened the front door and stepped outside into the brisk air. "Answer my calls from now on." He smiled and I nodded, watching him walk to the street and make a left, walking to the station. I felt Peeta's warm hand on the small of my back as I shut the door, not exactly sure what I was feeling. Relief? Confusion? Happiness? A mix of all three?

"I'm proud of you Katniss, you didn't kill him." Peeta said a faint smile in his voice.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Did you know he was coming?"

"No. He surprised us both." Peeta answered, and I knew he was telling the truth. It was stupid of me to think that they concocted this plan behind my back. "It was nice to see him again though. It's nice to hear about what he's done." I felt his hand slide into mine and we walked up to Pearl's room together, my mind still whirring about the events of the day. The kiss was weighing heavily on my mind no matter how much I tried to push it out. I felt guilty. I was angry at Gale for making me feel this way, especially when I was obviously with Peeta.

Pearl was asleep by the time we changed her into her yellow nightgown and laid her in her crib. She held onto Peeta's fingers so tightly that we had to pry them off of him, even in her sleep. She looked so calm and peaceful, probably dreaming about happy things. I kissed her warm forehead and followed Peeta to our room, my palms starting to sweat when I thought about the kiss. I promised myself I would never keep anything from Peeta, but I didn't want to make him upset. Plus, talk of me and Gale might give him a flashback or an episode, and I certainly didn't want any of that right now.

Peeta sat down on the edge of his side of the bed, throwing his shoes on the ground loudly and sighing. "What a day! Pearl actually cooperated with her bath though, that was definitely a plus. She was too busy giving Gale a weird look to remember that she didn't like baths." Peeta laughed, and I realized I would be deceiving him if I didn't tell him.

"Peeta, Gale kissed me today." I blurted, squeezing my eyes shut, afraid of what would happen next.

To my surprise, I heard him start to chuckle softly. I opened one eye just barely, enough to see if I had triggered anything, but he just sighed, still sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I figured he would try something." He laughed quietly, getting up and walking over to me. "I'm not mad." He added once I opened my eyes all the way.

"I-I…" I opened my mouth, feeling like I owed him clarification, like that he started it and I pushed him away because it felt so wrong, but he just laid a finger over my lips and shushed me.

"You don't have you explain. I trust you." He smiled and I couldn't help but jump onto him, pressing my lips to his longingly. They were so warm, calm and so incredibly wonderful. I sighed, knowing that I was meant to be with Peeta, the smell of cinnamon and strawberries filling my nose and making me smile. He lifted me up and spun me around once before setting me gently on the bed, his lips trailing fire across my cheek and down my neck. He was so warm and welcoming, and instantly washed away any fears I might've had about the day. I sighed again, bringing his lips back to mine and curling his hair between my fingers. I shivered as his warm hands slid down my body and landed on my hips making a little hum of sorts escaping my lips. I lost track of time, the two of us just kissing each other's fiery skin until we were out of breath and too tired to continue.

He smiled and gave me one long, passionate kiss before rolling off of me much to my protest. "Goodnight, Katniss." He breathed, wrapping his strong arms around me safely.

"Goodnight, Peeta." I whispered back, happier than ever that it was Peeta next to me and not Gale. I didn't need Gale's hatred, his rage and his pine tree smell. I needed Peeta, his cinnamon scent, his love and his kindness, his warmth and his words. The only one that would ever understand what I went through. Not Gale. My Peeta, My husband, My boy with the bread.


	11. Chapter 11

**Note from Adillae: **

…**I am so very sorry. It has been way too long since I've updated, and that isn't responsible or considerate of me. I want to be honest with you about my causes for not updating like I should. For reasons out of my control, I haven't been able to update since February. **

**As you know I've had some medical problems, and they escalated shortly after I posted the last update. To put it simply, I was in a coma for most of February and the beginning of March, and was unresponsive for a very long time. In the middle of March I started my recovery and have been under close watch since then. I'm still up in New York, but I was released from the hospital a few days ago. It's taken me a while to get readjusted and to figure out what has happened during the months that I've lost. I don't remember anything from that time and so it's quite difficult to accept that I've missed almost two months of life. However the doctors say I should make a full recovery! **

**I wouldn't put anything out that I wasn't proud of, but if this chapter isn't up to my full caliber I apologize. I've had some massive headaches accompanied with other side effects and I'm trying to do my best to balance things. I'm still proud of my work and hope that you enjoy it! I'm so sorry for not updating. Trust me, if I could've, I would've. **

**This ****chapter is long and filled with lemons and other exciting occurrences, so hopefully it was worth at least a little bit of the wait! **

**I hope****you are all****happy****and****that life****is treating you****well****! ****Enjoy****!  
>Sper că sunteţi cu<strong>** toţii fericiţi şi că viaţa vă tratează bine! Bucuraţi-vă! **

**p.s. I promise that I will update more regularly now! Thanks again for you messages and comments; they were so nice to read after I woke up! **

..

The breeze was soft and gentle as Peeta, Pearl and I made our way down the dusty road. The road wasn't very busy, but there were still a few people out returning from work or heading to a friend's house for dinner. It was incredibly mild for March; the temperature was warm and allowed us to wear shorts and thin shirts. Peeta's hand was comfortably in mine like always, swinging between us slightly as we made our way down the street, Pearl stumbling in front of us.

Our Pearl. She was a little over 2 ½ years old already, and was walking and talking non-stop. Her little legs carried her wherever she wanted, whether that was climbing up the doorframe or running while chasing Haymitch's geese, and her mouth ran at a thousand miles an hour. She had so much energy and such a passion for living, it made her so wonderful to be around and her gratefulness was contagious. She tired us out with her thirst for knowledge, always asking questions and wanting to know more about everything. But she wasn't obnoxious. She was curious and interested, cautious and careful, playful and charming, and loving and gentle. She was so much like Peeta.

She had inherited a few traits from me too, however. She could climb anything and everything faster than I had ever seen. She rarely ever fell when she was climbing, but she was still getting the hang of walking. Her knees seemed to be permanently scraped from her constant trips and falls. Unfortunately she had a little bit of my clumsiness in her, but she definitely had my spirit, a prime example being that today, she insisted that she did her own hair and pick out her own outfit. The result, however, was two very messy and uneven pigtails for hair, and a green dress with red shoes that she had taken off and was currently carrying in her hands. She was headstrong and confident, smart and alert. So much like Peeta and yet so much like me. She was a perfect mix of the two of us.

I still had my nightmares, and Peeta still had his flashbacks on top of the regular nightmares. None of that had changed. We were still so incredibly broken, but it seemed to be getting better. Peeta hadn't had an incident since the fateful one a few years ago in the bakery, and for that I was thankful. We spent so long repairing the bakery that I don't think we could go through another one. Peeta had ripped the place to shreds as he tried to stay focused on reality, but I didn't blame him, not anymore. He was so strong and was learning how to deal with them. Mainly anymore we suffered from wretched nightmares that played with our minds and screwed with our thoughts and perceptions, making us cry out into the darkness and reach to each other for comfort. We needed each other still, even after all this time; we needed to be reassured and to be held and comforted. We depended on each other completely, both for everyday and during our more trying times. Pearl was still there, singing to us sweetly during our harder days, never moving away from us during a minor flashback no matter how much we didn't want her to see. She helped Peeta and me more than she will ever understand. We owed her everything.

"Come on Pearl, hurry up!" Peeta shouted happily at her as we slowed down our pace a little. She had stopped off to the side of the path in the grass and was studying something that was growing there. Her head was cocked to the side slightly, her uneven blowing in the gentle breeze. She reached a tiny hand down and pulled before clumsily running back to us.

"What do you have there?" Peeta asked sweetly as she opened her hand to reveal a bright yellow dandelion. She smiled up at me brightly, her blue eyes shining as she held the flower out to me, knowing how much I liked them.

"For Mama." She laughed as I took it gratefully, touched by her small gesture. I looked up at Peeta who was smiling back at me and felt him squeeze my hand.

"Thank you." I breathed, tucking the dandelion in my pocket as we continued down the street, Pearl running just slightly in front of us, looking around at everything. She was so interested in the world, and could spend hours just outside watching the world happen around her. She never took anything for granted, and neither did we.

We continued on the path for a while, listening to the quiet croaking of the frogs and buzzing of dragonflies, smiling at Pearl as she pointed at random things we passed and made up a word for them. Her vocabulary was growing and she could form complete sentences now, even if they weren't always correct. She continued to talk to herself and stumble over the uneven ground a few times as we finally walked over the crest of the hill and saw the Meadow down below us, spreading out as far as the eye could see. The rolling green, ankle length grass was blowing in the wind, and it was covered in clumps of different colors of wildflowers. On the edge of the meadow closest to us, there were a few small but sturdy trees, and I could hear the Mockinjay's singing as they fluttered safely in the leaves.

Pearl turned around expectantly, looking at our faces for approval before she dropped her shoes at our feet, running off into the meadow and over to a tree, climbing it quickly and expertly.

"Not too high!" I shouted after her, picking up the little shoes as she nodded, staying three tiers above the ground, holding her arms out like she was pretending she could fly.

Peeta and I laughed quietly as we found a nice spot in the grass where there was a rock we could use as a backrest and sat down, Peeta's strong arms holding me close to him like always. I sighed as I leaned my head against his shoulder, keeping an eye out for Pearl as she continued to soar through the trees. The wind was blowing softly; making the grass flutter around us, and making me almost forget that this beautiful, spectacular place was a mass grave.

We had taken Pearl here ever since she could walk, and maybe even before. She was always a climber, and I'm almost positive that Peeta took her here to practice while I was hunting in the woods. We never told her what the meadow really was, how she was climbing on people's bones, the bones of Mamma and Daddy's friends and former neighbors. She loved it here because of what she knew it as, not what we remembered. We didn't want to change that.

Suddenly we heard one of Pearl's songs come from the trees, the tune being carried to us by the abundance of Mockingjay's in her vicinity. Her laughter rang out after they were done, and she carried on singing and listening, singing and listening.

Peeta rubbed my shoulders protectively as he smiled. "Is there anything on your mind?" he asked quietly.

I whistled Rue's four note tune in response to Peeta's question and listened as I heard it mixed into Pearl's song. I felt like I owed Rue that much, since I wasn't able to protect her and save her like I should've. She had been haunting my nightmares more and more frequently, and I don't know why. I missed her so terribly that my heart ached, and whenever I caught myself thinking about it, I would taste salty tears that had trickled down my face and landed on my tongue and go to Peeta for his comforting arms and words.

He tightened his grip on me as he recognized the notes, understanding what I meant as he nuzzled his head into my hair. I held onto him fiercely, never wanting to let him go, just wanting to curl up into his chest and hide away from the world.

"She's in a better place now, Katniss." He reminded me. "She would've wanted us to be happy."

I nodded, knowing that she would've. Still, _me_ living and _Rue_ not made me feel so horrible. I sometimes felt guilty for being happy. Things weren't fair. If they were, I would be here with Finnick, Prim, Rue, and everyone else that died because of me.

I felt Peeta's warm lips on my forehead, making me forget everything I was thinking. I sighed and smiled, content to stay in this moment forever. He smelled like cinnamon, and the wind only blew his sweet scent towards me, making him irresistible. I brought my lips up to his, kissing him gently as he smiled, twisting his fingers through my hair. We stayed like this for a while, needing each other's sweet lips and burning fire, needing the constant reassurance that we were safe.

Pearl's quiet giggles reached our ears, notifying us that she had returned from the trees and was in front of us. We pulled away and looked at her, standing a few feet ahead of us in the grass, hands covering her eyes and a huge smile on her face.

I looked at Peeta and we both laughed before he reached out his hands and started to tickle her, making her giggles change to squeals of laughter. He pulled her close to him and sat her down in between us, giving her noisy kisses on her forehead which made her laugh louder.

"What's so funny?" He laughed as she caught her breath, a smile still on her face.

"You and Mamma!" she replied, looking up at me, settling in between us and reaching her hand up to mine, grabbing it and playing with my fingers.

"Why are we funny?" I smiled as she twisted my simple ring around my finger, hers feeling so tiny against my own.

"You love each other a lot!" she beamed. "You so happy!" she said, her bad grammar just making her more adorable.

"We are happy." Peeta smiled, rubbing his hand up and down my arm calmly, stopping occasionally to draw shapes into my skin. "Are you happy?"

She nodded vigorously, still playing with my fingers. She yawned once as I looked up at the sky and noticed that the sun was just about to set, a few stars were already poking through the evening sky. Had we really spent that much time here already?

"Someone's sleepy." Peeta smiled as Pearl shook her head.

"Not me!" she yawned again, looking up at the darkening sky.

"Oh, I think so." He laughed as Pearl shook her head again.

"How many stars Mommy?" She asked after a shot silence, pointing up to the sky.

"Lots and lots and lots." I replied, hoping that this would satisfy her, and it seemed to as she continued to look, her eyes darting around as if she was trying to count them all. However, she could only count to five and there were a lot more than five.

She yawned again and started to close her eyes as I smiled up at Peeta, who was looking at her with so much love that it made my heart flutter. My boy with the bread, so loving and caring and gentle like he always was. His eyes glanced up at me and they twinkled back at me, bright blue even in the dusk light.

I gave him a quick peck on the lips before I grabbed Pearl, swooping her into my arms as she curled into my chest, settling in for the walk home. Peeta's arms wrapped around my waist as we left the meadow, lightning bugs swooping lazily in the air, lighting our way home.

My mind started to wander back to the Meadow during the somewhat uneventful walk home. To be honest, there was something on my mind like Peeta had questioned about earlier, a very big something in fact. He could tell; he was so good at reading me and my emotions. I had only recently found out and I didn't exactly know how to talk to him about it, but I felt bad for deceiving him. I told myself I would never keep anything from him, but this news was just so huge that I had to wrap my own mind around it first before I told him.

We were having another baby. I smiled as I thought about it, feeling my heart flutter in excitement. I knew that Peeta would be completely overjoyed when he found out—when I would finally tell him.

I didn't know how. I know I had done it once before, but I was so awfully unprepared that time, practically stammering it out at him with no grace or charm. I needed to prepare myself this time, and I needed to find out how to tell Pearl. My palms felt sweaty just thinking about it. I know he could weasel it out of me sooner or later, and I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to tell him myself. I just had to calm down and talk to him about it. I'll do it tomorrow.

We rounded the corner and our house came into view, Haymitch sitting in a chair outside his front door holding a bottle of clear liquid and throwing crumbs at his geese. I hoped it wasn't alcohol as I looked up at Peeta, and I could tell he thought the same thing.

"Relax you two, it's just water. I finished the alcohol yesterday." He smirked, reading our facial expressions and getting up out of his chair to see Pearl. He brushed her hair out of her face gently and rubbed her arm, causing her to stir a little. Her eyes fluttered open as she yawned again, looking around until her eyes fell on Haymitch. She smiled and reached her hands out to him, wanting him to pick her up.

I nodded to him as he grabbed her carefully, giving her a big hug which she returned. Peeta tightened his grip on me as he kissed my hairline and I laid my head on his chest, inhaling deeply and smelling the familiar cinnamon. The stairs were twinkling above us by now, the wind turning slightly chilly without the sun to warm it. I could see that Pearl had goosebumps on her little arms, but she was too busy telling Haymitch about climbing trees in the meadow that she didn't even notice.

She hugged him tightly again before giving him a tiny kiss on the cheek. Haymitch looked touched, his eyes almost twinkling with tears that he passed off as being from the wind.

"We will visit tomorrow, but right now we need some sleep." Peeta laughed quietly as Haymitch handed her back to him. She seemed to fall back asleep instantly, and Haymitch smiled.

"Just come over any time, I'll be here. Goodnight you three." He smiled as he went back to throwing crumbs at his geese and we walked over to the front door, opening it quietly.

Peeta carried Pearl up to her room, and I helped change her into her yellow nightgown. The bath would have to wait until tomorrow morning, but she didn't mind being dirty. She looked like such an angel lying in her crib, dark hair still in her messy pigtails, covered in one of Haymitch's blankets. I wrapped my arm around Peeta's waist, wanting to just stand here and look at her all night. Eventually however, he pulled me gently away and down the hallway into our room.

We had left the windows open so it was nice and cool inside; the air was sweet, clean smelling and inviting. I slipped my shoes off and started to undo the tie that held my long braid in place, but I felt Peeta's hand on mine, stopping me.

I dropped my fingers, returning my arms to my side as Peeta's fingers worked at the tie, his agile fingers undoing it in a matter of seconds. He started to unfold my braid slowly, running his hands through my wavy hair. He undid each tier slowly until the whole braid was gone, my hair loose and natural. I felt his warm hands run down my back, his lips surprising me on my shoulder, causing me to breathily whimper. His lips stayed at that spot causing tingles to go down my back, a small shiver erupting because of it. He wrapped his arms around my waist gently yet protectively, earning another small moan from me.

I turned around in his grasp to look him in the eyes, giving him a small smile before pressing his lips to mine. I needed him. It was as simple as that. I could feel passion surging through my veins already, his gentle and warm kisses causing me to almost lose my mind.

He moved them across my cheek, down my jawbone and all around my neck as I moaned quietly again, trying to control myself but his hands were now roaming my body, making me forget everything. We had done this so much that he knew my body perfectly, he knew the spots that made me forget to breathe, the spots that caused me to whimper loudly in pure need, and the spots that made me shiver fiercely. I was completely his; I had given myself to him so long ago. I was his and no one else's. I loved knowing that, and I loved how he proved it to me night after night. The way things looked, tonight would be another one of those nights.

His lips brushed over my collarbone as I brought my hands up to his chest, sliding them under his shirt and feeling his muscles. I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, discarding it on the floor as he did the same to me, his fingers running over my stomach as I gasped. He lifted me up and set me gently on the bed, his lips traveling all over the newly exposed skin.

My hands continued to run lightly over his arms and his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his muscles. I gasped silently as his lips found my collarbone again, fingers of one hand gently tracing the fragile bone while his other hand ran over my arms, drawing pictures lightly into them as I sighed.

His lips and his hands seemed to be everywhere at once, and I moaned quietly at his touch. It made me feel like I truly was the girl on fire. That hadn't changed since the first time we were together like this, and I didn't want it to.

He slid his wonderful hands behind me and unclasped my bra with an easy click; he was certainly a professional by now. I let him slide it off and throw it to the ground with the rest of our forgotten clothing as he peppered small kisses across my new skin and breasts as I whimpered, running my hands through his blond hair.

Peeta rolled completely over me and supported his weight on his forearms, bringing his lips back up to mine. I kissed him deeply as he trailed them down my neck again and across my chest, bringing a hand up to caress the newly exposed skin. He kissed the tender underside of each breast as I whimpered his name quietly, trying to ignore the heat that was forming between my legs. His warm palm rolled over each of them, sending tingles down my spine and letting a soft gasp escape from my lips. I arched my back, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, pinning him to me.

Our kisses were sloppy and short; both of us gasping for breath but still maintaining contact as the rest of our clothes were discarded onto the floor. All I wanted to do was have him closer; I couldn't get enough of him. I was addicted to my boy with the bread; I needed his kisses, his hands, his fiery skin touching mine. Being held in his strong, warm arms made me forget about every bad thing that had ever happened to us. He understood me more than anyone; He understood what I went through and more, we experienced everything together. Every horror that we've seen, everything we've had to do was forgotten and replaced with love and passion.

"I love you." I managed to whisper.

"I love you too." He breathed into my shoulder as I felt him press into me, making me whimper quietly. His rhythm was slow and steady like always as I clutched into his shoulders, bring him closer to me. I just needed him closer; I needed everything about him closer to me. His lips were on my neck and I almost couldn't take it, everything felt so amazingly wonderful.

I whimpered his name over and over, 'Peeta' seeming to be the only word that I could form. My heart was overflowing with love for him. I still couldn't get close enough as I pressed my body up tighter against his as he wrapped one arm around me protectively, holding me safely.

He was kissing every bit of skin he could reach; sending tingles all over my body and making me shiver.

Suddenly, I shouted Peeta's name so loudly I thought that Pearl would certainly hear me and wake up. My whole body tensed as I felt Peeta do the same, a feeling of complete happiness and euphoria washing over me. It felt like I was losing consciousness, although full of so much more pleasure. It seems like I couldn't stuck enough air into my lungs as I whispered Peeta's name continuously.

Peeta collapsed next to me, breathing just as hard as I was. He opened his arms to me and I slid over and laid my head on his chest, his wonderful heartbeat pounding in my ears. I kissed the base of his neck as he wrapped his arms around me, pinning me close, feeling like he would never let me go.

"Goodnight Peeta." I breathed.

"Goodnight Katniss." He whispered, giving me a languid kiss as we drifted off to sleep.

….

"Rue!" I shouted, the acidic fog starting to pour out of the wildflowers I decorated her with. It was getting harder to breathe and my eyes were burning as I tried to push the flowers away, and trying to move her body when the fog became too thick. Heaving her tiny frame over my shoulder, I ran out of the field but she was getting heavier by the second. I dropped her onto the ground of the clearing we were suddenly in and screamed in horror as President Snow, not Rue, looked back at me, the smell of roses almost making me get sick.

"You thought I wouldn't know?" he sneered as I heard the mutations in the distance. This was all happening so quickly, I strained to understand what was going on. Peeta's screamed in the distance along with Prim, and I took off trying to find them, but Snow grabbed hold of my leg, pinning me to the ground with vines from his white rose. The fog started to creep into the clearing as Snow laughed. I heard the Mockingjay's sing Pearl's song, although it did nothing to help me.

"Katniss!" I heard Peeta scream in the distance as my heart broke. I tried to fight off the vines but it was no use.

"Katniss! Katniss!"

"Katniss!" he said as I woke up with a start, breathing heavily and looking around. I was home. I was in my room. I reached my hand over to Peeta, feeling his warm body breathing steadily and I let out a sob of relief. Turning completely towards him, I ran my hands over his face and hair as he held my waist protectively, making sure that he in fact was here, and my nightmares hadn't become reality.

"Katniss, you're okay." He breathed, wiping the tears off my cheek with his thumb.

I heard Pearls singing coming from somewhere in the room and realized that I hadn't imagined it. I turned around and looked on the floor to see her sitting there with a sad expression on her face, coming to the last few bars of her song quietly before she stopped, looking at me with Peeta's blue eyes, making me cry even harder.

"Mama?" she asked softly, getting up quickly and pulling herself up onto the bed. She sat down in front of me and brought a tiny hand up to my face and wiping my eyes, giving the tears glistening on her fingers an odd look. "Mamma sad?" she whispered, her eyes filled with so much sadness.

I couldn't respond, I just pulled her into my lap and gave her a very tight hug, never wanting to let her go.

"She crawled out of her crib and came inside just as you were beginning to squirm. She sat down right there on the floor and started to sing, and wouldn't budge until you woke up." Peeta whispered, his hand on the small of my back. I realized that I was wearing one of Peeta's larger t-shirts, and I thanked him internally for remembering to cover me up again.

He seemed to know that I noticed the shirt, and he just smiled. "You got cold." He said sweetly, rubbing up and down my back as I held onto Pearl tightly. I leaned against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me and Pearl, who snuggled into my lap safely.

"It was Rue." I whispered as Peeta kissed my forehead gently. "Rue, Prim, and you. And Snow…" I trailed off, tears still streaming down my face.

"Shhh, Katniss, you're alright now. You're safe." Peeta breathed as he traced circles into my back, his presence combined with Pearl's calming me down quickly. He continued to whisper reassurance into my hair as he brushed his lips against my forehead; Pearl started to hum to herself, playing with a strand of my hair.

"Let's get back to sleep, okay?" Peeta asked sweetly after a while as he gently laid me down, my head hitting the pillow and making me realize just how tired I was. I wondered how exhausted he was since I had kept him up with my frantic shouting probably five minutes before I actually woke up, yet here he was, worried about me and how much sleep I needed. I still didn't deserve my boy with the bread, not even now.

"Stay with me." I whispered to him as I laid Pearl down in between us, her deep breaths alerting us that she was already asleep in a peaceful, nightmare free world.

"Always." He breathed, giving me a gentle kiss before draping his arm across Pearl and my stomach as we settled in for the second time that night, and hopefully the last.

…

I awoke naturally the second time, stirring slightly and feeling the sun shining in from the open window. I stretched my arms out just to feel a cold, empty bed, and a crash from downstairs told me that Peeta and Pearl were already up. I threw the covers off of me, got dressed quickly and put my hair in a long braid down my back before I headed downstairs to start the day.

"No I love you more!" I heard Peeta laugh as I entered the kitchen.

"No, me!" Pearl squealed, pointing to herself as she sat on the counter, kicking her legs wildly and smiling as she ate a piece of a strawberry. Her hair was a little wet and she looked all clean from last night's tree climbing. All of the windows were open and the curtains were blowing in the soft breeze as Peeta and Pearl argued happily together. Peeta was making some cheese rolls which filled the whole bottom level of the house with delicious smells, and was having no problem distracting Pearl by letting her sprinkle the cheese on top.

"You two are busy this morning." I smiled as I grabbed a piece of strawberry off the counter, making Pearl smile.

"Well good morning Mommy, I'm glad to see that you're up." Peeta said sweetly, wrapping his arm around my waist and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Do you feel happy?" Pearl asked as she held her arms out impatiently, waiting for me to hug her good morning. I swooped her into my arms as she clasped hers around my neck, giving me a slightly sticky kiss.

"Yes, I feel very happy today." I smiled, giving her a peck on the head before setting her back down on the counter.

"I'm glad." Peeta said sincerely before putting the cheese rolls in the oven, the sudden blast of heat making the stray hairs around my face flutter.

"I'm sorry, about this morning. I hope you were at least able to sleep a little—"I told him quietly while Pearl was busy counting to five with her strawberries.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart. I'm just glad you're feeling better." He whispered, giving me a sweet kiss that I didn't feel I completely deserved. "Pearl, would you help Mommy set the table please?" Peeta said as he started to cut some more fruit for breakfast.

She nodded as she climbed down from the counter and grabbed three forks, walking over to the table and reaching on her tiptoes to try and set them on the surface. I followed behind her with three plates and helped her into her chair since she was insisting to sit at the table now like a big girl, even though her face barely came up to the edge.

Peeta brought over the newly baked cheese rolls and fruit to the table as we settled in for breakfast. Pearl was asking about the different kinds of wildflowers from the meadow last night, and I tried to answer them without thinking about the acid spewing wildflowers from my nightmare. She wanted to know the names of all of them and why they were the color that they were, and I was beginning to run out of answers. I tried to remember what my father used to say when I asked him all these questions, but without our book in front of me I wasn't exactly sure.

The phone rang halfway through one of Pearl's questions, and Peeta pushed his chair out to answer it, which changed the topic of discussion from wildflowers to telephones. I sighed. I didn't know much about telephones.

"Katniss… It's for you." Peeta said once he entered the kitchen after being gone for a few minutes.

I stared at him blankly, confused. The telephone was never for me. If anyone called, it was Gale, Annie, Johanna or Dr. Aurelius for Peeta. Who could possibly want to talk to me? It wasn't the press, Peeta wouldn't let them talk to me and I was thankful for that. Haymitch could just walk over if he had something he wanted to say.

"Katniss…" Peeta said, breaking me out of my trance. Even Pearl had stopped talking; even she understood that this never happened.

"Who is it?"

"It's your mom." He said quietly.

I instantly threw my fork down and pushed my chair out noisily, turning to run away up the stairs, furious at Peeta for letter her think that I was home and willing to talk to her. Peeta caught me just before my foot landed on the first step and pulled me back into the kitchen. I tried to wriggle out of his grasp but it was no use, he was much stronger than me.

"Katniss, just talk to her, please." He said but I wouldn't listen. I owed her nothing, she repeatedly abandoned me and I didn't want anything to do with her. She only wanted to be here because of Pearl, but I wasn't going to grant her any right of seeing her. Pearl was our business, not hers.

"No Peeta, I told you I don't want to!" I shouted despite Pearl being in the room.

"She is hurting too! Maybe you can work together and figure something out. You don't have to be best friends, but just work with her—"

"Peeta stop!" I screamed. "I'm not going to talk to her, so go tell her that I'm not here and let's drop it!"

"No Katniss, I won't let you not talk to her anymore! This has to stop, just go and speak to her!" Peeta shouted back which only made me more furious.

"Why do you want me to mend ties with her? I don't want anything to do with her, why are you so set on my mother and our relationship?"

"Because I don't have one anymore, that's why!" He yelled, shouting it out at me before he realized what he was saying.

Both guilt and understanding hit me like a brick wall. Of course Peeta wanted me to have a good relationship with my mother, not just for Pearl, but because I was lucky enough to still have one alive. His mother, no matter how much they might not have gotten along, was ripped from his grasp and killed. His whole family, and he never got to see any of them again and it was because of me. He had dealt with his pain almost all by himself, and here I was, shouting about how furious I was with my mother without thinking about him at all. I had the privilege of having a mother and I was purposefully shoving her out of my life, when all Peeta longed for was a family to call his own. Even to this day I was selfish and cruel.

I started to cry, feeling stupid and guilty and sorry. My nose burned as I tried to hold them back, but they flowed out steadily as I collapsed onto Peeta. "Alright. I'll go talk to her. I will, I promise." I sniffed.

"Katniss, I'm… I'm sorry…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say for the first time in a long time.

"Don't. You're right." I said, wiping my eyes as I turned to go to the telephone, which was in our extra bedroom that we never used. The walk down the hallway seemed to take forever, the air in the room feeling thick and heavy. The receiver was staring at me, and I stood there for a while just gathering my thoughts and willing myself to pick up the phone. Peeta was right. Of course he was right.

My fingers wrapped around the receiver as I heaved it up. It felt like a brick as I brought it to my ear, swallowing once before opening my mouth, and saying a word that I hadn't said in such a long time.

"Mother?" I asked quietly into the phone, waiting for an answer.

"Katniss?" she responded. "Oh, Katniss." She sniffed. Her voice hadn't changed, if anything it was a little rougher than I remember.

"How… How are you?" I asked her, only doing this because of Peeta.

"I'm good. Things are finally coming around. What about you and Peeta?" she said, tears in her voice.

"We're good. We're getting by." I responded quietly. I hadn't talked to this lady in years, and even though she was my mother, I didn't feel any connection to her anymore. Everything we had was lost.

"I've moved back to District 12." She said after a long pause.

I almost dropped the phone. Moved back? To District 12? "Moved back? Why?" I couldn't help myself, I had to know.

"They are building a new hospital back there and they want me to help out once it gets done." She said, and my heart sank a little. Of course she wouldn't have moved back here for us, and even if she did it wouldn't have made any difference. At least that's what I was trying to tell myself. "I have a little house over by where we used to live. It's nice and I've fixed it up a little."

"Oh, that sounds nice." I replied quietly.

"Could I come visit you today? Are you doing anything?" She asked after another long pause.

"Um…" I trailed off, not sure how to answer. I needed Peeta, I needed his charm and his way with words. He needed to be the one talking, I could barely hold a conversation here. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that he was just outside. "S-sure, I guess."

"I'll be over at five." She said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "Thank you Katniss, I know how big of a deal this is for you to allow me to visit. I'll see you soon."

"Bye." I whispered, hanging up the phone slowly, not sure how I felt.

My Mother. Before father died, she was a completely different person. She was happy, lively, beautiful and charming. But our lives changed, and suddenly she disappeared. I was taking care of her, and it should've been the other way around. She wasn't there for Prim or for me, and we needed her. Even now, in the years after the Rebellion, she didn't want to have anything to do with me, running away to District 4 and befriending Gale, not contacting me at all until she heard that she might have a grandchild. I wouldn't believe her if she said she had changed. I had heard that one too many times before.

I walked out of the room, down the hallway and into the kitchen. It was silent as I entered, Peeta's eyes shooting up to mine, trying to decipher my emotions. Pearl was quiet as she picked up her cup and took a long drink.

My head was whirling. Mother was coming to our house; she was coming and she wanted to see me. Or was she coming because she just wanted to see Pearl? Did she really want to mend our nonexistent relationship or did she just want to skip me and go straight to Pearl? I felt numb. I couldn't believe she had moved back. How long had she been here? How long had she lived in District 12 and didn't call me?

I walked over to the chair next to Peeta and sat down, my head in a daze. He laid his warm hand on my knee and I looked into his eyes, feeling so horrible and selfish about not being considerate of his feelings.

"Pearl, why don't you go pick out a story for us to read while Mama and I clean up the kitchen." Peeta said, his gaze not wavering from mine as I heard Pearl slide out of her chair and run over to the bookshelf, busying herself with her decision.

"I'm so sorry…" I breathed, trying not to cry. "I shouldn't have kept pushing her away when I knew that you had lost your mom, I wasn't understanding at all—"

"Shhh, it's alright Katniss. I didn't mean to yell at you." He whispered. "What did she say?"

"She's coming over at five, so we can talk." I told him quietly as he faintly smiled, his bright blue eyes shimmering back at me.

"Katniss, I'm so proud of you." He smiled as I hopped up and slid onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, never wanting to let him go. He slid his arms around my waist, pinning me to his chest as he drew shapes onto my back. He smelled like nutmeg and strawberries.

"I want you here when she's here." I breathed. "Don't leave me with her."

"I won't. I'll drop Pearl off at Haymitch's house and we can spend the whole evening with her, alright?" he whispered, and I thanked him for understanding about Pearl. He knew that I didn't want Mother to see her right at first; he was so wonderfully accepting and I would never take any of it for granted. I kissed his neck as I closed my eyes and buried deeper into his embrace.

"Book!" we heard Pearl shout happily as I reluctantly crawled out of his arms and made my way to the couch, pulling Pearl onto it with me while Peeta grabbed the book out of her hands. She snuggled in between us as we began to read.

The morning and afternoon went way too quickly for my taste. After we read Pearl some books, we made a quick lunch, cleaned up the kitchen and went outside to play while Peeta worked in the garden. I constantly checked the sun's position in the sky, willing it to slow down but it seemed to speed across the sky until it was almost at the bottom of the cloudless blue heaven, and before I knew it, Peeta was taking a very sleepy Pearl over to Haymitch's, explaining the situation to him.

Haymitch was always ready to babysit. He and Pearl had such an incredible bond and he could spend days and days on end talking to her. He could answer all of her questions and knew just what to say to her to satisfy her need for information. Pearl could curl up into his arms and point to every star, ask him its name and he could tell her the correct response. He would teach her all about his geese, and even let her water, or more like drown, his herb garden. I was so thankful for him being ready to babysit on a whim, especially during days like today. I never thought I would owe him this much, and I never thought that I would end up having this kind of relationship with him. He was like a young grandpa that I never had. A substitute grandpa for Pearl.

"Let's go inside." Peeta smiled as he returned from Haymitch's, extending his hand towards mine and I took it gratefully. I needed him. I wouldn't be able to do this without him.

I washed my hands about twenty times just out of nervousness, wishing the knot in my stomach would just untie itself and things could go back to normal, but I knew they couldn't.

"Katniss, you're going to scrub your fingernails off." Peeta laughed quietly as he turned off the sink for me and handed me a towel. I tried to grab it without showing him how much I was shaking, but of course he saw right through me.

"There's no need to be nervous." He whispered, trailing his fingers up and down my arm. "It's your Mother. Don't get yourself all worked up, things will be fine." He reassured.

I tried to convince myself that he was right, and everything would be okay, but I was so confused about my feelings that I didn't know how this was going to turn out. I had no idea how I was going to act when I finally saw her, or how she was now. She could be a totally different person. I was just nervous.

A knock from the door scared me out of my daze and I looked at Peeta, who just smiled faintly.

"I can't do this without you." I whispered. "Don't leave me." I felt so stupid and lame for admitting it, but it was nothing that he didn't know. He was my lifeline, and I needed him here.

"I'll be right here." He said quietly, giving me a gentle kiss before grabbing my hand and walking me over to the door.

I reached my hand up to grab the door, but I stopped. I couldn't find the strength to pull it open. My hand went limp at my side as Peeta stepped forward and grabbed a hold of the handle, heaven it open.

She looked almost the same. She had dusty blonde hair that was starting to turn white. She was thin and wise looking and, dare I say it, she had a few laugh lines by her eyes and around her mouth. Her dress was baggy on her, and it looked like she had made it herself. Her smile was the same warm one that she wore before Father died, although her teeth were stained yellow after many years of drinking mint tea.

"Katniss…" she smiled, tears already shining in her eyes.

"Hi." I answered quietly and stupidly, sounding like a child. I felt her eyes travel up and down my body and over to Peeta. I chanced a glance at him. He looked calm and composed, just like always.

"And Peeta…" she trailed off.

"Hi Mrs. Everdeen, why don't you come inside?" He asked politely as I stepped out of the way and let her inside.

"This place looks wonderful!" she breathed, looking around happily at all of Peeta and Pearl's art on the walls. Her eyes stayed a fraction of a second longer on Father's bow that I kept in the corner, and she blinked a few extra times. She was never this happy. This didn't feel right.

"Why don't you sit down, and I'll make some tea." Peeta offered as I sat down at the kitchen table, Mother taking the spot opposite of me.

"Yes thank you, tea would be lovely dear." She smiled.

Something about the way she said 'dear' made me want to tell her to leave. She wasn't there for Peeta either, and he she was, waltzing back into our lives years later thinking she could pick up where she left off. He didn't seem phased by it however as he filled up the tea kettle with water and got out some extra cheese rolls.

"How are things?" she asked happily, and I couldn't help but be reminded of when it was Gale sitting in front of me, asking the same thing after so many years. I was also surprised she hadn't mentioned Pearl yet.

"Good." I replied quietly. I looked over at Peeta, who just smiled at me reassuringly from the kitchen. "Peeta is working at the bakery a lot, and I spend lots of time hunting and taking care of the house." I told her softly.

"Things sound like they are going well then. And it looks like I have a grandchild now, unless you two like to read children's books." She smiled.

I knew it. It hadn't even been five minutes.

"If that's why you're here then you can leave now." I told her harshly.

She closed her mouth and thought about her answer, and I couldn't hold my question in any longer. It practically burst out of my chest.

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you." She responded, the smile finally sliding off her face.

"I don't believe that for a second. You had years to come and see me. Why now?" I asked loudly as Peeta brought over our tea and sat down next to me, laying his hand on my leg.

"I was so busy at the hospital before, and I finally had some free time with my moving back—"

"Don't give me that! You had years to visit us Mom!" I shouted. "Stop making excuses!"

"What do you want me to say?" she suddenly yelled back. "I was selfish, I was insecure! I was trying to work out my own damn problems before I even got started with yours!"

"Don't you think that we could've done that together? We could've helped each other Mom! I needed you sometimes I needed you in the beginning! I wrote, I called, but you didn't answer! For Years I had to get used to life without you! But you always go cut yourself off from the world and crawl into a hole for years before coming back out and expecting things to be perfect like before!—"

"I couldn't face you, not after what happened to Prim! I couldn't look at you and not see both of my little girls, the ones that I had let down!"

"You blame me for her death, I know you do!" I shouted. "It wasn't my fault Mom! You could've at least tried to talk to me about it!"

"I had to be by myself, that's just how I heal!—"

"Really? Then why was Gale there?" I screamed, realizing that I was crying by now. Peeta's hand was rubbing calmly up and down my knee, bringing me back down to earth and realizing that probably the whole District could hear us.

Mother was at a temporary loss for words. She stared blankly at me, trying to form words but saying nothing.

I buried my face in my hands as I felt Peeta's arm wrap around my waist, letting me know that he was still there. More tears burned in my eyes and I squeezed them shut tightly, trapping them inside. I couldn't cry anymore.

"Once I heard that I might have a grandchild, I called Gale and invited him over. I wanted to know everything, but I knew that you would never tell me, and that was all my fault. I got used to his visits, and he was familiar company that didn't remind me of anything that troubled me. Sometimes he would bring his mother with and, I don't know, it felt like old times before everything went badly." She whispered. Her façade was crumbling, and she was slowly turning back into the troubled, broken woman that I knew. To be honest, I liked her a lot better than the one that showed up at my door just a while ago.

"I realized that I had wasted a lot of time by hiding away. Once I heard that I might have a grandkid, I realized how precious life is and that I shouldn't waste it anymore, but I knew that I had ruined our relationship. Once I moved back here a little while ago, I thought about calling you every day, and I guess I got enough courage today and finally did it. I'm sorry to have bothered you both." She said as she moved to get up.

"Wait Mom," I started, looking up at her. "We both screwed up. It's not just you."

"You sent me letters and I didn't do anything about it." She said, sitting back down. "I never responded, I never returned your calls. I'm so sorry Katniss, I could've prevented all of this." She whispered.

"It's alright." I found myself saying, and I found that I truly meant it. "We've wasted enough time already; I don't want to waste anymore." I told her as she reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

"Me neither, darling." She smiled, tears shining in her eyes. "We can fix this, it's not too late. We can start by visiting each other one every few weeks, and then see how it goes. If it doesn't go well, we can think of something else." She said as she squeezed my hand.

"That sounds okay." I told her quietly, feeling myself faintly smile. "Then maybe you can see Pearl." I said without thinking about it.

Her face went blank for a few seconds before she beamed. "Pearl? She's a girl?"

I nodded as tears leaked out of her eyes and she brought her free hand up to wipe them away. "Pearl. I would love to meet her eventually. For now though, I'll leave you two alone. I have a few things to do at home and I'm due at the new hospital site tomorrow morning." She said, getting up and letting go of my hand.

Peeta and I stood up with her as she rounded the table, holding out her arms. For a second I hesitated, but before I could really recognize it, I found myself in her tight embrace. I felt like a child again, like before the Reaping. I couldn't help but smile a little bit. I actually believed her.

She let me go and clumsily patted my cheek before turning to Peeta who gave her a fierce hug. She brushed her fingers through his hair and it made me realize how much she really did miss. Our toasting, my pregnancy, all of our nightmares and flashbacks, Pearl's birth. But that was going to change now, starting today.

Peeta opened the door and she started to walk out, but she froze once she saw her.

Pearl was outside chasing one of the geese while Haymitch was laughing, throwing some bread crumbs on the grassy earth as he watched the little dark haired girl run around like mad. She tripped and landed on her arms, but she got back up so quickly you might not have even seen it happen.

"Is this…" she trailed off, tears swimming in her eyes again.

I nodded, realizing that I had kept Pearl from her for long enough. If it was me, I wouldn't have lasted this long without knowing my grandchild. I looked at Peeta and he gave me nod, his eyes shining.

"Would you like to meet her?" I asked quietly as she nodded.

"Pearl! Come over here!" I shouted to her, her dark hair bouncing as she turned her head, a big smile on her face. She ran over to us, but started to slow down to a stop once she realized the unfamiliar woman standing next to me. Pearl was always weary of strangers, and she took a long time to warm up to people. I was hoping that his was going to be different.

"You see this lady?" I asked her quietly as I bent down to her level.

She nodded, not taking her eyes off of her.

"She is my Mama. Just like I am your Mama, she is mine." I told her as she nodded.

"She is MammaMamma?" she asked, pointing to me and then to her.

I laughed and picked her up into my arms, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "You can call her Grandma." I smiled feeling Peeta's hand on the small of my back.

"Hi Gramma." Pearl smiled, trying her best to repeat the word as she looked into my Mother's teary eyes.

"Hello there Pearl. It's nice to finally meet you." she said, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand.

Peeta leaned over and whispered something into her Pearl's ear, and her smile grew as she nodded back at him before reaching her arms out to the older woman.

Mother took her into her arms carefully as Pearl wrapped her arms around her neck and gave her a tiny kiss on the cheek. She laughed as she wrapped her arms around Pearl tightly, closing her eyes and probably memorizing this moment. The first time she held her granddaughter.

I looked at Peeta who was watching the two with a big smile on his face, and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. He turned to look at me, brushing a few stray hairs out of my face before laying his forehead against mine for a few seconds.

She set Pearl back on the ground and gave me another hug. She seemed unable to form words, but she looked happy. She pulled away and started to walk down to the street, waving before she turned out of sight.

"I like her." Pearl smiled, and I couldn't help but return it. What an exciting, happy day that I never would've expected. To think back to this morning when I didn't know anything like this was going to happen, it seemed crazy to think that I was here now. I had a mother again.

"Someone's sleepy." Peeta laughed quietly as Pearl yawned, shaking her head.

"Not Pearl!" she laughed, stifling another yawn.

"Let's get ready for bed." I told her, swooping her up into my arms as I turned to Haymitch and shouted a 'thank you' across the lawn. He just nodded and waved, blowing Pearl a kiss that she returned.

We made our way up to the bathroom where we drew Pearl a warm bath, filling it to the brim with bubbles. She didn't even mind her bath today, since Peeta was distracting her with making different kinds of bubble facial hair, making her laugh as she tried to copy him. We stayed in the warm bathroom for an extra fifteen minutes just making things out of the extra bubbles before we dried her off and dressed her in her nightgown, and by then she was almost out.

"Love you Mama, love you Daddy." She whispered sleepily as we both kissed her forehead, laying her carefully into her crib. She instantly reached for one of Haymitch's blankets and was snoring softly before we even left the room.

Our room was as cool as it was last night, the nice night breeze streaming in through the window. I took off my shoes quickly and threw them into the corner as Peeta did the same, and I got that nagging feeling again in my stomach.

I still hadn't told him. I was planning to all day, but the whole thing with my Mother threw it out of my mind. Still, I promised that I would tell him today. And today was almost over. He deserved to know, I didn't have any right to keep it from him any longer.

I walked over behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my forehead on his strong back. He covered his hands with my own as he chuckled softly, the sound rumbling through my ears.

"I'm so proud of you Katniss." He whispered. "Today was such a big day for you, and I'm so happy that things turned out the way they did."

I nodded. "Me too. It went a lot better than I was expecting."

We stayed like this for a while, comfortable silence filling the room. His sweet smell of strawberries and nutmeg was intoxicating, and I probably could've fallen asleep.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier. Sometimes I forget about your mother, and I know it's not nice of me to." I whispered. Peeta was always there for me, comforting me and being considerate and understanding, but it seemed like whenever he needed me, I was never there. I always threw him under the bus and thought about myself; I kept forgetting that I wasn't the only one hurting. Peeta had seen horrors in his life; he witnessed them with me and even had some of his own. I needed to be sensitive to his feelings too. I felt ashamed and guilty. Even after all these years, I was still the selfish one. I wanted to be there for Peeta too. I didn't want him to feel alone in this.

"You already have so much on your mind, it's alright." He smiled. "I'm sorry for shouting at you."

"I deserved it." I told him quietly as he turned around in my arms and gave me a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, stretching up onto my tiptoes and running a hand through his hair. They were just what I needed after today, his lips filling me with confidence and happiness, and hope for the future.

"Peeta," I started a while after he had pulled away. "There's something I want to tell you." I whispered, trying to hide my smile, but failing. The corners of my mouth were turned up and he smiled back at me, hopefully still oblivious.

"Yes?" he breathed as I felt his fingers play with the bottom of my braid.

Just say it. Just spring it on him like last time. Just don't keep it from him anymore. "Peeta," I laughed quietly, tears threatening to blur my vision. "We're having a baby."

I felt his hand instantly stop moving; his whole body froze and his breath caught in his throat. He brought his hands up to my cheeks and looked me right in the eye; his blue orbs seemed to go in and out of focus for a split second before a gigantic smile erupted over his face. "We are?" He whispered, a look of complete disbelief on his face, tears shining in his eyes.

I nodded slightly as an answer and he suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist so tightly that I almost couldn't breathe. I smiled as I held onto him, burying my head in his chest.

"We're having a baby?" He asked again, his voice filled with so much happiness, shock, relief and excitement that I couldn't help but smile with him. "We really are? We really are having another baby?" he beamed, pulling away to look at me.

"Yes." I laughed as he lifted me up and spun me around once slowly, tightening his grip on me as I felt a few drops of water fall onto my shoulder.

"How long have you known? When? Are you sure? Have you told anyone yet? When did you find out?" he asked, firing off questions left and right, the look on his face so eager and excited that I couldn't help but cry with him.

"I'm sure. I haven't known very long." I said, bringing a hand up to wipe his eyes. I hadn't seen someone cry from happiness in such a long time, and my heart was fluttering with so much love and anticipation that I felt like I could burst. "Sometime in late October or early November." I told him as he brought his lips to mine softly, calmly, just like Peeta but with a new passion and fire beneath them. They were so warm and reassuring, and I sighed as he lifted me up gently to lay me on the bed.

"Katniss you have made me so incredibly happy." Peeta smiled as he gave me another gentle kiss, laying his head on my stomach. I couldn't help but laugh quietly as I ran my fingers through his hair. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I whispered back to him as he gave my stomach a tiny kiss.

We stayed like that for the rest of the night, lying in each other's arms with Peeta listening to my stomach. I felt such happiness; something that I never thought I could ever feel again, and it was because of Peeta.

Peeta. My boy with the bread. Our family was expanding, but things were still the same. He was still here for me and I was still here for him. None of that would change, no matter how many children we have. I was so content with my life at this very moment, and I knew that Peeta and I were meant to be. We would've found some way to be together. I was supposed to be with him. My boy with the bread. My wonderful husband. My Peeta.


	12. Chapter 12

**Note from Adillae:**

**Hello everyone, I hope that life is treating you well! I'm sorry for not updating as soon as I normally do. I've been moved to the recovery wing of the hospital and thankfully they've been allowing me my computer, but sometimes my headaches and other side effects are so bad that I have to stop. It's taking me longer than normal to write, but I'm doing my best! **

**I found out today that this story was nominated for an ****Energize W.I.P. Award in**** the Most Promising Hunger Games Fanfic category while I was away, and that it won third place! I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how incredibly flattered and excited I am! It is such an honor to be writing for you all, and I would like to thank each and every one of you that voted and spent your time because you believed in this story! I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart and I send you all warm wishes and many thanks!**

**There are probably only a few more chapters left, but I might write another story, who knows :) Thank you so much for all of your kind words, messages, reviews, and thanks again for voting and believing in this! I owe you all a million thanks! **

**I hope that you are having a wonderful day and remember that you are beautiful! Enjoy!****  
><strong>**Sper****că****aveţi****o zi****minunată****şi****amintiţi-vă că****eşti frumoasă****! ****Bucuraţi-vă****!**

"Sit still Pearl or you'll get strawberries all over your dress!" I laughed, pouring her more milk as she settled down in her chair. She was always wiggling around at the table and talking with her mouth full. She made such a big mess when she ate.

"Can I have more Mama?" she asked, spewing red mush all over the table.

"Pearl, mouth shut." I reminded her sternly and she clasped it tightly instantly, using her napkin to wipe up the mess but in the end just making it a whole lot worse. Ah well, it was the thought that counts. "You can have a few more, but you need to eat some of your bread too."

She nodded as I handed her a few pieces of sliced strawberry, and she smiled as she picked up her cheese roll and waved it at me before taking a huge bite. We were enjoying a late lunch after a morning of gardening and tidying up the living room.

I smiled at her as I finally sat down, taking a sip of water. It was a lovely summer day; the sun was beating high over head and the wind almost non-existent. Pearl loved this weather, but it made my slightly pregnant self uncomfortable. My clothes were sticking to me and it did nothing to help my nausea. I tried to ignore it as I took another sip of water, doing everything I could to cool down. All of the windows were open and we even cracked the front door, willing to do anything to get a slight breeze inside and get the air moving. I don't know how Peeta worked in the bakery in this kind of heat, but he always seemed to love it too. I liked the colder weather; I was the girl on fire for too long I guess.

We had worked out a schedule that seemed to fit our needs. Peeta would go to the bakery in the mornings and come home sometime in the early afternoon. Since he ran the shop by himself, he was able to set his own hours and be more flexible that way. Pearl and I would hang out at the house, read stories, plant in the garden, make lunch, clean the house and visit Haymitch while we would wait for him to return. I would set her down for her nap right around the time that Peeta would come home or a little before, and when she woke up we would make dinner and eat as a family. I would go out and hunt in dusk, or sometimes Haymitch would watch her while I went if I had to get away. If the memories were just too bad.

I laid my hand on my little belly, feeling a little stirring and jumping slightly. It had been a while since I felt that odd kicking sensation and it only recently started happening again. It gave me a feeling that was a mixture of excitement and nervousness, but I tried to focus on what Peeta said. It was a good thing; it meant that we were doing things right.

I looked over at Pearl, who was smiling back at me, her face covered in strawberries.

"When's the baby coming Mama?" she asked, just like she did every morning.

"Not for a while sweetheart." I laughed. Every morning it was the same question, and every time I answered the same way. It had been a while since we told her on that sunny day in April, and every free moment she had she would always ask about the baby. It made her seem so much older now, even in those few short months. Peeta had just gotten home from work when we decided to tell her.

"_Pearl, Mama and Daddy have something very exciting to tell you." Peeta smiled, kneeling down on her level. I sank to my knees beside him in the middle of the living room, wondering how this would go. I had never done this before, and I don't really remember much about Mother telling me about Prim except I apparently ran off into my room and cried. _

_She set down her blocks and looked up at us happily, her blue eyes sparkling and filled with love. She gave us a little giggle before she cocked her head to the side; she could tell that something was different. _

"_Mama is going to have a baby." Peeta told her excitedly, as her eyes went to my face. They searched my features, checking to see if anything was wrong, and her eyebrows furrowed together. She was confused. _

"_Baby?" she replied, uncertainty piercing through her eyes._

_I nodded. "I have a baby inside of me, and around the time of your birthday, you will have a little brother or sister." I explained as her eyes froze on my stomach. "There will be another little person with us. You'll be a big sister." I smiled. _

_She smiled back up at me as she pointed to my stomach and I nodded. "Like Annie and Finn?" she asked. _

_I looked over at Peeta, impressed that she made the connection. _

"_Yes just like Annie and Finn. Except it's with me, and instead of Finn it will be our own little baby."_

_Her smile grew bigger as she scooted forward and pressed her small hand against my stomach before giving it a kiss. "Hi baby!" she laughed into my flat belly, waving at it happily as she turned towards Peeta. _

"_But where will it sleep?" she asked, concerned. _

_Peeta just laughed, pulling her forward into his arms and giving her a loud kiss on top of her head. "We don't have to worry about that for a long time. But you don't have to give up your bed!" _

_She looked relieved as she looked up at be, beaming and blue eyes shining. I was excited. I wanted her to have a little sibling, someone that she could protect and love. Someone like Prim._

"Can you go get the baby now?" Pearl asked, bringing me back to the present moment.

I laughed quietly and shook my head. She didn't completely understand what was going on, but how do you explain that to a child? How do you tell them that you have another person growing inside of you and in 9 months you'll have to bring it into the world and take care of it forever? It was definitely a difficult concept for an almost 3 year old. Whenever I would get back from hunting, she would always ask me if I brought the baby with me. Whenever Peeta would get home, she would ask about the baby. It was cute and sweet of her; she was so caring just like her father.

"Did Gramma have a baby too?" she asked, blue orbs bright and shining at me from across the table.

My eyes shot up, shocked and surprised. I never thought about her asking, and I told myself not to think about Prim. Visions of her little duck tail being enveloped by fire were already washing through my mind and I tried to shake them away. I couldn't let those memories invade my thoughts and cause me to go into a downward spiral for the day and into a place where only Peeta would pull me out of. But no matter how hard I tried, images of the little blond haired girl that I tried so desperately to save popped in front of my eyes like a movie screen, and I found myself sniffing back tears.

"Yes she did." I answered quietly. "She had another little girl."

"Well where is she?" Pearl asked, leaning onto the table with her arms, seeming incredibly interested.

I had never told her about Prim. I didn't want her to know; I didn't want her life to be filled with pain and grief before she could even make happy memories of her own. I also didn't want to tell anyone for fear of reliving the horrible moment when I saw that duck tail and a part of me left forever. I figured that I would tell her when she was older and she could understand what really happened, but since she was young now I really never thought about it. I was so unprepared that I didn't know how to handle this, and without Peeta I was hopeless. I was still selfish about it, to this day.

"She's not here anymore. She's with Mamma and Daddy's friend Finnick and Rue." I whispered. I hadn't meant to tell her about them, but she stumbled across our book one day and the damage had already been done. "Do you remember where they are?"

Pearl nodded, pointing up at the sky as a sad look crossed over her face. She understood and looked back at me with such grown up maturity and pity that for a second I thought it was Peeta staring back at me through her eyes.

"What was her name?" Pearl asked.

I sniffed. "Primrose. Prim." I whispered as more tears ran down my face. Saying her name out loud for the first time to Pearl was so difficult that I almost got up and walked away from the table, but I couldn't. I needed to be strong, for both Pearl and for Prim.

"Don't cry Mama." Pearl soothed.

I wiped my eyes quickly as I looked at her. "I'm alright. It makes me very sad to talk about her, that's all."

Pearl nodded as she shut her mouth tightly, realizing that she was asking questions and it wasn't making me any better. She started rubbing her eyes tiredly, and I realized that she wanted me to be alone. "Can I go to sleep now Mama?" she asked as I nodded, getting out of my chair slowly and stretching as Pearl walked over in front of me and started to head upstairs.

Her room hadn't changed, only that she now had a 'big girl' bed. Peeta had made it for her one day while she was at Haymitch's, and when she came home it was there waiting for me. The smile on her face once she saw it was so big that I don't think Peeta will ever forget it. She tackled him with hugs and kisses for the rest of the week, thanking him endlessly for her dandelion bed as she liked to call it. It had a bright yellow comforter and white sheets, and was so large that it looked like it could swallow her up any moment and I'd lose her in the blankets. Someday she would grow to fit it, and that thought scared me. I never wanted her to be that old.

I pulled down the covers and she hopped inside, laying her head gently on the pillow as I opened her window a little more. There was more of a breeze coming in now and I pulled off a few of her covers, not wanting her to get too hot.

"Mama?" she asked quietly as I sat down on the edge of her bed, smoothing the hair out of her face.

"Yes darling?"

"I'm sorry for asking about Gramma's baby." She whispered.

"Pearl honey, don't be sorry." I sniffed, rubbing her arm gently. "It's okay. It just makes me a little sad to remember her, but you can always ask." I told her as I gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Sleep well." I whispered as I practically ran out of the room before any tears could fall.

I made it to the kitchen before I made any noise, letting out a tiny sob as I collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table, burying my head in my hands and wishing that Prim could be here. If only she was here with us, if only she could've met Pearl and seen Peeta and me at our toasting. She would've loved Pearl so much, and it broke my heart to think that I wasn't there to protect her like I should've.

I heard the front door open and shut as I jumped, quickly trying to wipe the tears off of my face before Peeta could see, but it was too late.

"Sweetheart what happened?" he asked gently, not even saying hello as walking carefully over to the table, setting his basket of day old bread down before kneeling in front of me.

I sniffed and gasped quietly, my tears making it hard to breathe. "She asked about Prim." I whispered, my voice rough.

His eyes traveled all over my face and then flickered to my stomach before pulled up another kitchen chair right across from me. "And what did you say?" he asked quietly, treading lightly.

"I told her she was with Finnick and Rue. She understood." I sniffed noisily, the salty tears speeding down my cheeks and neck, mixing with my sweat and making me more uncomfortable. "I knew I would have to tell her one day, I just never expected it to be _today_." I added after a shot silence.

Peeta just shushed me quietly, laying one hand on my small stomach and rubbing his other hand gently up and down my arm, drawing circles and squares onto my slightly damp skin with his finger. It was incredibly soothing; even his presence as enough to calm me.

"I'm happy she knows." Peeta said. "When she's a little older, we can show her Prim's picture in the book. We can tell her all the happy stories about her and it will be like she is really here with us again. We don't have to hide her anymore."

I looked into Peeta's eyes and saw how much they were shining, so incredibly blue just like the sky. Maybe he was right. We could tell her all the happy memories I had and how much I still love her. I don't want Pearl to grow up and not know that she would've had the most incredible aunt in the whole world. We could bring her alive with our words. Maybe it could even help me heal too.

"Was it wrong for us not to tell her?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No." Peeta said, shaking his head and drawing a circle onto my arm. "This way she understand; this way she knows what's going on and can fully appreciate her. It wasn't wrong." He responded, his way with words and always knowing exactly what to say still amazed me.

I got up from my chair and scooted over into his lap, his arms wrapping around my larger waist easily. He buried his head in my shoulder and gave it a small kiss as leaned my head against the top of his. He was incredibly warm, but not the kind of warm that bothered me on a day like this. His warmth would always make me happy to be the girl on fire.

"Your Mother came into the bakery today." Peeta told me, his voice muffled by my shoulder. "She asked about you."

"Really?" I answered quietly, running my fingers lightly through his hair.

My Mother. Our relationship was still rocky. We had our good days and our bad days, but the fact that she was trying made things a lot easier. She would visit the house a few times a month and would call once a week. I was still weary of her, wondering when she would escape into her hole and never come out to talk again, but Peeta told me to cherish the moment and I guess I was trying. I was doing it for Peeta and Pearl anyway, the best I could do was try.

It was easier for me to forgive Mother than it was to forgive Gale, and I don't know why. Maybe it was Prim. Maybe it was the fact that my mother was so much like me, no matter how much I didn't want to admit it. Whatever it was, it made me feel guilty. Mother had hurt me so many more times than Gale, yet I was willing to forgive her more easily. She was broken and hurting, and so was I. Gale was always strong and, I don't know, it probably made it easier for me to hate him in the beginning. He was the one I blamed for taking Prim away, and that hate was stronger than anything. I had forgiven him of course, and he still called at least twice a week, but the whole thing still confused me.

The important thing is that we were trying to fix things. Sometimes Mother and I would start screaming at each other and bringing up past faults and problems, and that would only end in us going home in upset moods that would weave their ways into my nightmares. Sometimes she would come over and everything would be so happy, and we wouldn't have any sort of problems. But the next visit, there would be yelling and crying which would leave me with a screaming Prim in my nightmares. We would call each other and spew out apologies while Peeta would do his best to help us. I know he wanted us to have a good relationship, and I really was trying for him. We would get there eventually, it was just these times that were hard. We would make it, though. I had a feeling.

"She bought a few loaves and talked about calling you in a few days. She seemed to be in a good mood." Peeta said, his voice bringing me back to the present.

"Did she seem… upset at all? Even a little bit?" I asked, remembering back to our last visit when she slammed the door as she left.

"I didn't think so. She seemed maybe a little… regretful, but overall she seemed to be doing well."

"I'm glad." I told him, brushing some hair out of his face. He leaned in and pressed his warm lips to mine and I sighed, feeling so content and so much better than before. They sent reassurance through my body and I knew that everything was going to be okay.

"I'm going to bake some cookies, do you have any preferences?" Peeta asked once he had pulled way.

I smiled and shook my head, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Surprise me." I laughed. "I'm going to go check on Pearl." I told him as I got up slowly, feeling the all too familiar nausea start to come back.

He smiled back at me as he got up and went over to the kitchen, starting to take out ingredients and sliding an apron over his head.

I made my way up the stairs slowly, the heat and my slightly pregnant symptoms starting to take a toll. It took me a minute or so to get to the top, and I hoped that going down would be easier than going up.

Opening Pearl's door carefully, I peeked inside right as she threw the covers of off of her and stretched her arms up in the air. Her head whipped around once I shut the door, a smile stretching across her face. She reached her little arms out to me as I walked over and gave her a hug, her tiny body still fitting in my arms even with my stomach. She whispered a hello into my belly and giggled as I brushed her hair out of her face.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked her, the wind finally starting to pick up, cooling off the room with one breeze.

She nodded, laying her head on my belly. She was just like Peeta. Sometimes she just liked to listen.

"Did Daddy bring the baby home?" she asked, hopeful.

I couldn't help but laugh. "No, he didn't. The baby is still right here." I told her, tapping my stomach.

"What are we going to call the baby?" Pearl asked, pressing her hand up by her face.

"I don't know yet." I answered honestly. Names were always hard for me. Peeta and I had been thinking, but there really wasn't anything that we liked a whole bunch. Every name seemed to remind us of something, or someone, we loved and lost. Pearl's name was the one thing that was happy, even if it did come out of the games. It was a name that made me smile, and I wanted our second baby's name to have the same affect.

"Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?" she questioned.

"I don't know that either." I smiled. I felt it was a boy, and I was right last time. But I hadn't told Peeta yet. I wanted him to guess. "What do you think it is?" I asked Pearl, curious to her answer.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" she said into my stomach, and pressed her ear against it as if she was listening, like she and the baby were having a conversation.

"He says he's a boy." She answers, and I couldn't hide my surprise. How would she even know what to guess?

I opened my mouth to respond, but she took her head off of my stomach quickly and got up off the bed. She took a deep breath in and started to sing her little song as she walked over to the door, opening it easily and walking out of the room before I could even register what was happening.

"Pearl?" I called behind her, trying to get off the bed but I stood up too quickly, my head spinning and my nausea threatening to take over. I tried to fight it off and hurry to her; she was scaring me.

She was singing her song. That meant something was going to happen.

Right on cue, a loud crash came from downstairs in the kitchen as fear spread icily through my veins. Forgetting my nausea and my dizziness, I ran out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen, not knowing what I would find there.

"Peeta?" I questioned, hearing Pearl's singing over by the stove. I hurried over and saw Peeta on the floor by the open oven, his pan of cookies a mess on the floor and his hands burned red. Pearl was sitting next to him, singing to him quietly as he clamped his eyes shut, grabbing onto the searing hot cookie sheet, looking for any sort of pain to keep him in the present. Adrenaline was pulsing through my veins and preventing me from crying. I was thrown back into survival mode.

"Peeta!" I shouted, grabbing a pot holder and trying to wrestle the pan out of his hands, but he was holding on. No matter how many times he had done this, I could never get used to him hurting himself. When he hurt himself, he hurt me. I couldn't stand it.

I finally succeeded in ripping the scalding hot pan out of his hands, setting it far away on the counter and trying to push Pearl out of the way, but she wouldn't budge. She kept on singing, softly but clear and strong.

"Peeta, Peeta look at me." I begged, holding his head in my hands and forcing him to look at me. He slowly opened his eyes and they were so dark that I couldn't help but gasp. I hadn't seen them this color since the scene at the bakery. I didn't want that to happen again. I had to be strong.

"Katniss…" He whispered, and I could see he was trying. He was trying to distinguish the real from the not real. He was working so hard, the pain written all over his face was almost too much.

"You're alright Peeta, you're okay. Everyone's okay!" I repeated as Pearl tentatively crawled closer, avoiding the cookies that were littered across the floor.

We sat on the floor for a while, Pearl singing the entire time as I held Peeta in my arms, his eyes shut tightly and pain etched onto his face. I continued to whisper reassurances to him, telling him what was real and how much I loved him. I tried not to look at or think about his hands, but I couldn't help myself. I kept looking down at them, reminding myself about the time his whole arm was like that and how much pain he went through then. The train of bad thoughts continued and soon I found myself thinking about him being taken, and all those times where he had to control himself. I felt a surge of rage towards the Capitol, cursing them for making us like this, broken and helpless. They ruined our lives.

After a while, Peeta slowly opened his eyes and I was so relieved to see that they were blue. They weren't his normal bright blue, but at least they were blue and not black. Pearl got to the end of her song and stopped singing, looking up at Peeta with hope in her bright blue eyes.

"Katniss…" he breathed, glancing around him as if he was seeing it for the first time. The oven door was open, the cookies spread all over the ground in crumbled heaps. The pain that I had ripped out of his grasp was high above the counter, and he looked at his hands and made the connection. "Katniss, I'm sorry…" he started.

I shook my head as I helped him up off the ground and over to the table, setting him down in a chair. Pearl walked shyly behind us, crawling into a chair across from him and watching him carefully. She didn't seem to be scared at all, just concerned.

I returned with some herb rub that Greasy Sae had left me, just in case anything like this would ever happen at a moment when she wasn't around to help. I grabbed some ice, put it in a bowl and walked back over to the table, setting it down and grabbing Peeta's bright red hands.

I lightly rubbed the paste on his hands, and I could see that he was in extreme pain. He flinched every time I pressed too hard, squinting his eyes instead of shouting out in agony like I knew he wanted.

"Pearl, would you go get Mommy a towel please?" I asked as she nodded, hurrying out of her chair and up the steps.

"I'm sorry Katniss—" Peeta started again quietly.

"Shhhh, Peeta it's fine." I told him, rubbing more paste onto his hands. "The important thing is that you are better now."

He looked up at me; his eyes still a dull blue. The pain still hadn't left his face completely, and it was difficult to look at him. I needed his bright eyes and his happy smile, but he needed me now and I couldn't abandon him. I could never do that.

"I got so confused, I didn't know anything anymore. I dropped the pan and I tried to sort things out in my head, but I just didn't know the real from the not real." He whispered.

"It's okay Peeta, everything's okay now." I told him as I sniffed slightly, tears finally starting to flow into my eyes but I held them back. "Everything's going to be okay."

"Here Mommy." Pearl said, running down the last few steps and over to the table, thrusting the towel into my hands. I mumbled a thank you to her as I put some ice in the thin sheet, laying it on Peeta's bright red, paste covered hands.

He gasped at the sudden contact but relaxed after a few seconds; the ice seemed to take all of the pain away. For now.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Pearl asked. She had been staring at his hands this whole entire time.

"Yes Daddy's fine." He said, giving her a smile that she seemed to think was genuine and it wiped the worry off of her face. But I knew it was bothering him. He wasn't okay.

"Pearl, why don't you go make your bed okay? When you get done we can have a snack if you're hungry." I told her. I wanted to sit with Peeta for a while; I don't care if it was selfish of me. I didn't want to bother her with our grown up problems.

"Okay!" she smiled, hopping off her chair again and heading back upstairs. I heard the door shut quietly as Peeta opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

I laid my hands lightly on top of the ice and he closed his eyes, looking incredibly focused on breathing. We sat in the silence for a while, listening to the birds sing outside and feeling the cool breeze blown through the open windows. The sky was darker; clouds were rolling in and shielding the sun. It smelled like rain, and it felt like a storm was coming. I heard a grumble of thunder in the distance.

"Katniss, I-I'm sorry, but I can't stay here." Peeta whispered, his eyes still a dull, murky blue. They looked like they had gotten a shade darker, and I hoped that I was imagining things. "I'm gunna go." He breathed, starting to get up.

"What do you mean?" I asked, standing up with him.

"I'm going to go stay with Haymitch tonight. I… I don't feel right…" he trailed off, and I could see it in his face that things weren't okay. "I don't want to put you, Pearl or the baby in any danger." He whispered, beginning to move his hands underneath the ice bags. "I'll stay just for the night and come back in the morning. Just in case. I promise."

"Okay." I nodded, lightly touching his shoulder. "Whatever you need to do is okay." I told him, but secretly in my head I was telling him not go to. I couldn't do anything without him; I needed him here with me.

"It's just better if I go…" he murmured, and I could tell that he didn't want to hurt me. He didn't want to go, but he would never forgive himself this time if anything else happened. He needed to get away and make sure that he was okay before he came back. He was trying to make himself come off as better and not confused, but I knew that he wasn't better and needed some time. If anything else happened today, it would be worse. Haymitch could take care of him.

"It's okay, I understand." I whispered, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He flinched a little, and I pulled away quickly. He is probably fighting the urge to kill me, kissing him is maybe not the right thing to do.

I walked over to the front door and opened it as he made his way over. He looked weary and tired, confused and in pain. Looking at him made my heart break, his dark eyes staring back at me and I knew he had to go. He was in for a rough night, but then again so was I. We didn't do well apart.

He surprised me by returning the kiss on my cheek before he walked out of the door without another word and over to Haymitch's. He knocked with his foot, and a few seconds later the door opened. Haymitch looked him over and I saw his eyes flicker over to me before he moved out of the way, letting Peeta inside. He gave me a little nod before he closed the door. He would take care of him. Everything would be okay.

I shut the door and leaned my back against it, trying not to think about it. Peeta was gone because he was trying to protect us. He didn't look any better, and if he was around us when something else set him off, it wouldn't be good. Pearl might get hurt, or Peeta might get hurt even worse since I would be the only one to stop him. Me, a tiny little pregnant lady. This way, Haymitch would be there, and he wasn't really gone. He was just away for the day. He promised he would be back tomorrow.

"Mama, I'm done! And I even folded my blankets!" I heard Pearl shout with happiness as she came down the stairs again, eyes falling to the table and a slight frown growing across her face. "Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy is going to go stay with Haymitch tonight." I told her, hoping she wouldn't ask questions. But that was like hoping Peeta wouldn't made cheese rolls.

"Can I go stay with them?" she smiled. She probably thought it was a sleepover, where they would be baking bread all night and playing with his geese. I was grateful for her innocence.

"No, no you can't." I told her.

"Why is he there?" she asked, disappointed.

"He doesn't feel good today. He will be back tomorrow."

She sighed, sitting back down on a chair at the kitchen table as I grabbed a bowl of blueberries and set it in front of her as she started to eat, her eyes watching Haymitch's house through the windowpane.

It started to rain, little droplets of water making their way into the house through the open windows. I hurried over and shut them all just as the rain flared up, suddenly pouring, coming out of nowhere. I heard thunder rolling, but it seemed closer now.

"Mommy?" Pearl asked after a long silence that was filled with the steady pounding of rain. I was standing by the window next to the front door, watching the constant downpour and wondering how Peeta was doing. What was happening to him right now?

"Yes dear?"

"Why does Daddy sometimes get sad like that? Does Gale get sad like Daddy?" she asked, and just like this morning, I couldn't hide my surprise.

What was I supposed to tell her? That the Capitol had kidnapped her father and injected Tracker Jacker venom into him, altering his memory and turning him against me, even now? How do you even begin to explain this situation to an almost three year old? Was it really my story to tell? Should I brush it off and wait for Peeta? Or would that just be more painful for him to remember?

She must've sensed it was the wrong question to ask, since she stared into her blueberry dish, mumbling to herself. "Never mind." She said quietly.

"Honey, come here." I told her softly, reaching my arms out to her as she hopped off her chair and ran into them. I lifted her onto my lap as she laid a hand on my small belly, looking up at me. I wrapped my arms around her as she brushed a few hairs out of her face, her eyes shining brightly just like Peeta's should be. It made this almost harder with those crystal orbs gazing into mine.

"Back when Mommy and Daddy were younger, some very bad people came and took Daddy away from me. They kept him for a very long time, and they were not very nice to him. They told him things that weren't true and made him believe that they were. So sometimes, Daddy gets a little mixed up and doesn't remember what is real and what isn't real, so he gets sad and scared." I said quietly, her face holding a shocked and sad expression. She was trying to understand it all.

"Mean people took Daddy?" she whispered, eyes starting to fill with tears.

"Yes. But they are gone now, and he is okay. You don't have to worry about him." I told her and she nodded.

"Will they try to take him again?" she asked quietly.

"No. Daddy doesn't have anything to be concerned about anymore." I reassured. "When he gets sad like he does, it's because he is trying to remember what is real and what the mean people told him was real. Does that make sense?" I explained, hoping she would understand.

She nodded, eyes flickering over to Haymitch's. She wasn't used to being at home without both of us here, and I could tell she wasn't sure how to feel. She missed him as much as I did and it had only been maybe, at most, a few hours.

"Why do you sing to him?" I asked her, gently rocking her back and forth in my arms.

She just shrugged. "I don't know. I just do." She responded. "I can feel when he gets sad and I sing to him to make him happy."

"Don't ever stop singing. It makes us, especially Daddy, so much better and so much happier." I smiled as I felt the baby kick. Pearl jumped and looked up at me with a big smile on her face.

"Hi baby!" she said into my belly, waving. "I love you brother!" she laughed, giving it a kiss.

I smiled at her thoughtfulness, counting my blessings that she turned out with Peeta's love and compassion rather than my selfishness. I ran my fingers through her loose hair, wishing that Peeta was here with us. I was listening for any signs of trouble, but the rain made it hard to hear. I just had to forget it and let Haymitch take care of him. I knew he wouldn't let me down.

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. Pearl and I read some stories before we made dinner for just the two of us. I called it a 'girl's night together' in hopes to make her feel better, but I know that she was scared for Peeta. She was so caring and understanding for such a young girl. She was so smart; she put things together that I never thought she would. She felt so much compassion and was so considerate. She was wise way beyond her years.

After dinner, we took a long warm bath without bubbles. Pearl enjoyed listening to the thunder cracking overhead and counting the lightning flashes we saw through the window. Peeta had told her a long time ago that thunder was just Finnick and Rue jumping up and down, and ever since then she would sit and listen to the thunder, deciding whether it was Finnick or Rue.

"Rue!" she laughed as a little grumble of thunder rolled. I picked her up out of the draining water and dried her off, dressing her in her yellow nightgown and brushing her hair quickly. She stayed still the whole time, counting the lightning flashes and smiling at each roll of thunder.

"Finnick!" she smiled as a large bang of thunder shook the house, a big fork of lightning flashing through the sky a few seconds afterwards. She laughed again, crawling under the covers and laying her head on her pillow.

"Goodnight Mama." She said, stifling a yawn. "Goodnight brother."

"Goodnight darling. Sleep well." I said back, giving her a kiss and walking over to shut the lights off and close her door.

There was nothing else to do but go to bed. I lied on top of the covers, too afraid to actually crawl under for fear that I'll fall asleep. I stared at the ceiling, playing the 'Finnick or Rue' game in my head, just to keep sane.

I turned to lie on my side, stretching my arms out involuntarily to Peeta, but just feeling an empty bed without his warmth. I grabbed his pillow and held onto it like my life depended on it. And if you think about it, it kind of did.

Somewhere along the line, I fell asleep only to gasp awake and see that the horrors that filled my nightmares weren't real. Again I reached my hands for Peeta, and again I felt the empty bed. I cried into his pillow, feeling weak and broken. I felt like I was overreacting since I was in fact a grown woman with a three year old and another on the way, I should be able to handle being alone for one night. One would think. But I needed him with me. It was as simple as that.

I fell into a horrid cycle of nightmares, startling awake and crying into Peeta's pillow, wishing for morning more than anything. I tried to keep myself quiet so I wouldn't wake Pearl, and apparently I was doing a good job because she hadn't made an appearance. Was it selfish of me that I wanted to hear her sing right about now?

Finally, after what felt like hours of agony, the sunlight started to stream into the room and I heard the pitter-patter of Pearl's footsteps. She opened my door and bounded inside, jumping up and down on the bed, a happy smile on her face.

"Daddy comes home today!" she sang as she collapsed next to me, pulling off the covers of the bed and giving my belly a kiss. The way she was talking you would've thought he had been gone a year.

I smiled and sat up, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "Go get yourself dressed and then we can go make breakfast, alright?" I told her as she bounced back out of the room and into hers. I heard her drawers open as she contemplated on which dress to wear and I couldn't help but laugh a little. She was too cute.

I made the bed quickly and changed into the first shirt and pants I saw in my drawer. I combed through my hair with my fingers before braiding it again, sighing at my appearance in the mirror. Catching my reflection in the mirror, I stopped suddenly and turned sideways, studying my growing belly. I wasn't huge yet, but I was big enough that you could probably guess that I was either pregnant or just oddly proportioned. I laid my hand gently on my belly, thinking back to the days when I said that I never wanted kids. If only I could go back in time and tell myself what I knew now, maybe I wouldn't have put it off for so long. Peeta and I didn't wait forever of course, we were still young and had lots of life in us yet. But remembering the days where I thought I didn't want Pearl, or this baby inside me now, it almost made me frustrated. I wouldn't trade Pearl for the world, and I can't imagine my life without her. And I can't imagine life without this baby.

"Come on Pearl, just pick a dress and meet me downstairs!" I laughed as I peeked inside her room where she was holding up two dresses, trying to decide which one she wanted to wear today.

I opened the breadbox and took out a few day old rolls, setting them on a plate and bringing them to the table along with some marmalade. I poured a glass of milk for Pearl and some tea for me, sitting myself down in a chair and waiting for the fashionista upstairs to join me.

Suddenly the door opened, and I turned around expectantly, my eyes meeting Peeta's bright familiar ones, making my heart soar. I looked hopefully at him as he beamed back at me, sighing from relief. "Katniss…" he breathed.

That was all I needed to hear. A smile erupted across my face as I got up as fast as I could, running over to him and wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, never wanting to let go. I held him so close to me that I wasn't sure where I ended and he began, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist, his bandaged hands feeling funny as he slid them up my back, twirling the end of my braid between his fingers.

"I missed you." I breathed, inhaling deeply and sighing at his signature cinnamon scent. "Last night was the worst night of my life."

He gripped me tighter at my words, swaying slightly on the spot. "I missed you too. I barely made it through."

I pulled away, pressing my lips against his and feeling his warmth. Everything felt right; I felt whole and complete again. I shivered as goose bumps spread across my skin, deepening the kiss and wishing that it would never end. I never wanted to be without him ever again. He trailed his kisses across my cheek and down my neck making me flutter my eyes shut.

"Are we okay?" he breathed after a while, still holding onto me with such a fierce grip that suggested he thought I would disappear if he ever let go.

"Of course." I replied quietly, his blue eyes shining back at me with such love that I had to tell myself to breathe. "Of course we are."

"I love you." He sighed, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I love you too Peeta." I smiled as he leaned his head down to kiss my stomach.

"Daddy!" Pearl shouted happily from the staircase as she bolted across the kitchen and jumped into his arms.

"Pearl, I missed you!" he laughed, catching her easily and holding her closely, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I missed you too Daddy!" she told him, her tiny arms gripping him tightly.

Peeta switched her to the other arm as he wrapped his free one around my waist, holding both of us close. "My girls." He whispered, giving us both kisses on the head and I couldn't help but smile. We were all here, all four of us, together and we always would be. Peeta's arms around me were all that I needed.

My Peeta. My caring, gentle, compassionate, loving, wonderful, eloquent, understanding Peeta. My boy with the bread. No matter what we've been through, we would always find a way back to each other. We would never stop caring; we would never stop thinking about one another. Even if the past did come calling, we could overcome it. We could overcome anything as long as we were together. I knew that for sure. We would always be a family. The girl on fire and the boy with the bread. My boy with the bread. My Peeta.


	13. Chapter 13

**Note from Adillae:**

**Hello Everyone! I trust you had a wonderful Easter (if you celebrate it) or just a great weekend in general! I hope that it was filled with lots of food, laughter and happiness!**

**I'm sorry about the lack of updates, but I had a slight relapse which started a whole lot of hoopla and landed me back in the emergency area of the hospital. Along with that, I wasn't allowed my computer and I had to use pencil and paper, but my handwriting has severely declined since I was 'asleep' (as I like to call it). I have struck a deal, however, with a very nice nurse who has allowed me my computer for a few hours a week! Hopefully when I get moved back to the recovery unit I will be able to write more, although it takes me longer to turn out chapters now. I am doing my best, I assure you! Thank you all for your very nice letters, prayers, messages and thoughts. I am so blessed to have all of you thinking of me and wishing me well! I'm positive that you have helped me recover this much so far! **

**Hopefully the English is okay, I have sort of forgotten some things while I was asleep and the Romanian is getting mixed with the English which just confuses everyone! Now I know what Peeta felt like after the highjacking; everything is so jumbled up that I don't know what's real or not real anymore! :) One thing I know for certain though is that Pearl is becoming a lot like my little sister Aekley. **

**Thanks for all your kind words and wishes, I am very adamant about becoming well again! Thank you (for the billionth time) for everything you've done and all you've said. There are some fantastic and amazing people in this great big world of ours :). And I'm rambling, that part hasn't changed. **

**I hope that you are having a wonderful day and remember that you are beautiful! Enjoy!****  
><strong>**Sper****că****aveţi****o zi****minunată****şi****amintiţi-vă că****eşti frumoasă****! ****Bucuraţi-vă****!**

The sky was bright blue as I slowly trudged along the dirt road, kicking dust up into the air which made me cough. It was a warm summer day; white puffy clouds floated lazily in the sky, the wildflowers were in full bloom and the birds were chirping loudly. The sun was beating down mercilessly as it hung low in the late afternoon sky, and even though there was a strong breeze it just ended up blowing hot air which didn't make things any more comfortable.

I was almost seven months pregnant and about to go crazy. This pregnancy was the opposite of Pearl's, and I missed the ease I felt when I was carrying her. With Pearl, I had relatively no morning sickness, very minimal swelling, and my hormones weren't too out of whack although I got very large. I would get into fits of yelling at Peeta, but that was basically the extent of my mood swings. Everything was under control with her. This go round however was different. I was dizzy and sick every time I stood up, my feet and ankles were so swollen I could barely get any shoes to fit, all sorts of foods and smells would set me off into a fit of nausea and sickness, and my hormones were making me go absolutely insane. Little things would bother me so much that I would either yell or start to cry from frustration, and I felt everything all the time. I would be happy for a minute, and then be so angry and upset the next. The only positive thing I could think of about this pregnancy was the fact that I wasn't as large as I was with Pearl. This time I was just sporting a medium sized bump, although that would probably change in the next few months. That one silver lining wasn't enough though. I was so ready to not be pregnant.

Peeta was so loving and understanding, just like always. Even though I would scream, cry and threaten to pull my bow on him, he never got frustrated or mad. He would just let me beat him with endless amounts of pillows and calm me down when I felt remorse for taking it out on him. He made sure that I came first no matter how much I protested. He was especially worried for me this time around because of my horrible symptoms and would usually confine me to the couch all day so he knew that I was alright. He would hold my hair if I would get sick at night when it was loose from its braid, rub my back slowly if the dizziness was too much, shower me with kisses and quiet reassurances and he would tell me I was beautiful even though I felt like a huge, bloated whale.

It was adorable how excited he was, that had certainly not changed. He would walk around with a smile on his face, and when I would ask why he would simply reply because he was happy. Considering all that we had been through and how much we still had to try every day, us being happy seemed like a dream.

The nightmares still pulsed through our heads and made us wake up screaming in the middle of the night. We were always there for one another, wrapping our arms around each other and whispering what was real and what wasn't. Some days were better than others. At times it felt like nothing bad had ever happened; I would look around at Pearl and at Peeta and be so incredibly happy, and the games would never even enter my thoughts until nighttime. Other days I could barely get out of bed, the thoughts of Prim, Rue, Finnick and everyone else we had lost were too much and I didn't have enough strength. Only Peeta's strong embrace and Pearl's singing could calm me down enough to function on days like that.

Pearl was the only person that was more excited than Peeta. She would ask about her baby brother every free second of every day, and would constantly sing into my growing belly, laughing and clapping madly when he would kick in response. She would tell everyone she saw that she was going to be a big sister, and would tell Haymitch all of the names she liked. They, however were things like "Bubbles" and "Sprinkles", but they were adorable nonetheless. She was such a dear and I couldn't believe the effect she had on people. Peeta and I were blessed to have her.

Mother was doing well. She was a nurse at the new hospital here in District 12 and seemed to be feeling alright. We still fought, and our rocky relationship mixed with my pregnant emotions didn't always create the best circumstances, but she was determined to be there for me and for the baby. She was really stepping up, claiming she didn't want to miss out on any of this child's life. I think Pearl reminded her of Prim, and maybe it was helping her heal. Whatever was happening, it was sort of working. We were on the long and winding road to recovery.

My eyes flickered to the forest off in the distance as I continued down the street, and I couldn't help but think of Gale. He had visited us a few days ago with his new wife Violet, and I actually enjoyed their visit. It was our first time meeting her, and she honestly wasn't what I had pictured at all. She was somewhat short next to him with long dark brown hair, nice teeth and grey Seam eyes although she was from District 11. She was young, modest, soft spoken, and compassionate which was the opposite of what I was expecting. I figured a tall busty blonde with a high pitched voice and nasally laugh would be what he would pick for a wife, but I had to say that I liked Violet lots better. She had told me that she knew Rue and her family, and thanked me for what I did for her at the games which made me choke back tears for the first few minutes. She was neither afraid of me nor fascinated by me and I was grateful for that; usually outsiders either couldn't take their eyes off of me or were afraid to even glance in my direction. Our conversation seemed to flow pretty well, which was something that never happened whenever I was involved. It was nice to talk to a girl my age, and she gave me some pregnancy tips since she was the eldest of ten children. She got along well with Pearl, and Peeta seemed to like her too. He and Gale talked for most of the afternoon by themselves while I chatted with Violet, and even though they never existed together well in my mind, I liked this. I could handle this.

I turned the corner and saw the bakery at the far end of the street, my heart still fluttering at the sight of it. Knowing that Peeta was in there working, his calloused hands decorating cakes and cookies, kneading soft dough and feeding people so easily when it used to be so difficult makes me proud to be his wife. I'm proud of everything we've done together, everything we've made. We've turned our lives around, even though the road has been bumpy. If only the Capitol could see us now, I'd be laughing in their faces.

Peeta was very protective of me when I was pregnant, particularly these last few months. He would make me promise that I wouldn't go out in the woods alone, that I wouldn't work too hard, that I wouldn't do anything important without him there and that I would mostly sit and relax. Sometimes, today being an example, he would let me wander down to the bakery just so I could get out and exercise a little but I think the idea of me by myself worried him, and I didn't blame him. Not after what we've been through. He wanted me to be on the couch at all times, but being home with Pearl made that practically impossible. She understood that I didn't feel my best, and she could entertain herself for the whole day if it came down to it but I still needed to take care of her because after all, she was only three.

I walked slowly down the street, coming to the bakery and noticing that the door was shut. He had closed it for today; I remember him mentioning something about wanting to get caught up on the wedding cakes and just work in peace. I'd do the same thing if I were him plus, no one would go into a warm bakery on a day like this. Everyone was probably out at the lake trying to cool off and enjoying some family time in the sun.

I tapped lightly on the door before pushing it open. The heat from the oven hit me at almost full blast, making me sweat almost instantly. I looked around the front room and noticed that it was empty except for the breads and cookies that lined the display case. The big doors to the other room were closed, and I heard Peeta humming to himself from behind them. Pushing them open, I quietly went inside, his head whirling around to face mine in surprise.

"Hi Sweetheart." He said, his voice sweet.

I smiled back at him, taking a few steps over to the table where he was working which held a three tiered cake. He was in the process of frosting red roses all over the top-most layer, and it looked perfect. It was so warm in here that I was surprised all the frosting wasn't melted, but Peeta didn't seem to mind the heat. He looked very comfortable, not even breaking a sweat.

I gave him a tiny kiss, his breath tickling my face and making me smile. He brushed his lips across my stomach before wrapping an arm around my waist, stepping back to admire his work.

"It's beautiful." I told him quietly, completely in awe about what his hands could create.

"Well thank you." He chuckled, pulling a stool over in front of him with a loud scraping noise and gesturing for me to sit down. I rolled my eyes at him, the corners of my lips twitching upwards as I sat down; He was always worrying about me.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked, and I could tell he was treading lightly. It was only this morning that I had shouted at him for cutting the strawberries the wrong way which, of course, seemed so stupid now.

"I'm alright." I sighed, still feeling bad about this morning even though I had apologized probably a thousand times, then gotten upset again when he was to nice to me. I really wanted this crazy hormone roller coaster to be over and done with. "I don't feel too bad, just a little uncomfortable but I don't feel sick."

"Good." He smiled, rubbing my stomach absentmindedly as he leaned back onto the table. "Where's Pearl?"

I smiled. "She's with Haymitch. One of the geese just had some goslings and he wanted to show her. They are only a few days old and are still very tiny. I'm sure she's having fun naming all of them "Pudding" and "Sparkle"." I laughed.

He laughed too, running a hand through his hair. "At least they are Haymitch's geese and not our son."

"Good point." I smiled, my heart fluttering slightly when he said the word son. We had gotten accustomed to calling the baby a boy, but both Pearl and I felt it was right. We could be wrong, but mislabeling the gender seemed better than just calling him 'it'.

I stood up slowly, needing to stand on my legs and get blood flowing to them again. I had only been sitting for a while but they were starting to get all tingly, and I pushed the stool to the side, its legs making a loud scraping noise. Peeta slid his hand in mine and opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly I wasn't paying attention anymore.

The simple action of his skin touching mine made me lose focus. I felt warm, warmer than before, or like I just realized how incredibly hot it was in here. I felt electricity flow through the air as I stood still, trying to ignore the tingly sensation that seemed to be flowing out of my legs and into my stomach. I closed my eyes but the feeling wasn't going away; it was getting stronger with every second that his warm calloused hand touched mine. Lots stronger.

I tried to reason with myself. We couldn't possibly start anything now, we were in the bakery. There were so many bad things that could happen, so many scenarios that could result in unfavorable outcomes, most importantly someone finding us. All of my misgivings went out the window in a matter of seconds, and I couldn't possibly sit here any longer without acting.

"Peeta…" I whispered, interrupting his story but it didn't matter. I wasn't listening anymore; the blood was rushing in my ears making a whirling noise and distracting me even more. "Kiss me." I breathed, my eyes still closed.

He was silent for a moment before I opened my eyes, his sparkling blue locking on my grey right as he leaned in. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, all of a sudden having an urge to touch him, have his warm skin on mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist firmly and I pressed myself up closer against him, as close as my belly would allow. I moved my hands down to his chest, feeling his heartbeat on one side and his slow breathing in between kisses on the other. I wanted to feel all of him, and before I even knew what I was doing I trailed my fingers down to the hem of his shirt, peeling it off him quickly and pressing myself back against him. He was so incredibly warm and I couldn't get enough of his skin.

He trailed warm kisses across my cheek and down my neck as one hand slipped underneath my shirt, making me moan quietly. My hormones were raging and I needed him more with each passing second, the tingles in my stomach getting worse and traveling down to in between my legs.

I wrapped my arms around his neck again, holding onto him with every ounce of strength, afraid that if I let go I would crumble to the ground. His warm hand was still roaming my back, leaving a trail of heat wherever it went. He slowly started to work my simple shirt over my head, stripping it off of me and discarding it on the ground.

Lust and passion were pumping through my veins, making me almost dizzy with heat but I welcomed it. I didn't mind this kind of fire, the fire that only Peeta could make me feel and continuously caused me to experience night after night. I drank it in, needing more and more with each passing second.

His lips trailed all over my newly exposed skin, worshiping every part of me as I tightened my grip on his neck, pinning him to me. I whimpered breathlessly as he kissed everywhere, reaching a hand back and unclasping my bra, letting that fall to the ground also. The little noises that were coming out of my mouth surprised me but I didn't stop to think about it, I was thinking in the moment and practically crying out from how amazing it all felt. My fingers laced through his hair as his lips brushed across my collarbone, making me jump and shiver against him, bringing his lips back to mine fervently. I started to fumble with his belt buckle as we shed the rest of our clothes, forgetting them on the floor in the rush of the moment.

Suddenly Peeta lifted me up and set me on the table, acting as though I weighed next to nothing. I couldn't help but smile as I remembered telling Haymitch all those years ago how I'd seen him swing 100 pound bags of flour around and now here he was, lifting my very pregnant self instead. If only I'd known then what I know now, If only I'd been more careful and kept a better watch over him, he wouldn't have been hijacked and things would've been happier. I was so stupid, I made so many mistakes and the tiny twinge of realization that I might not have ended up with him makes me tear up, even now. My enhanced feelings and roller-coaster-like hormones took this little thought and turned it into a stream of tears, and I cursed myself. I was so stupid. So stupid for crying, so stupid for letting it bother me, so stupid for doing this now.

"Katniss…" Peeta breathed, his lips just barely touching mine. His eyes held so much pain, and he took his thumb and tried to wipe the wetness off of my cheek. "What's wrong love?" he whispered sweetly, his free hand fiddling with the end of my braid.

"I want you." I whined, a few more tears swiftly flowing down my face. "I want you every day for the rest of my life." I said, probably confusing him but nonetheless trying to get my feelings across and failing as usual. I blinked a few times and my tears stopped blurring my vision, the passion and lust refilling my veins like before. "I need you."

"You can have me." He answered simply and quietly, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Then kiss me." I told him just like before, goose bumps erupting all over my body. He brought his lips to mine, rekindling the fire and making me whimper in both pleasure and anticipation. With me on the table, we were level with each other which made things easier. His hand bumped against my upper thigh and I moaned softly, electricity rushing through me. His fingers brushed over the very center of me and I couldn't help but gasp breathlessly, moving my hips closer to him, digging my nails into his shoulders.

I threw my head back as I felt him press into me, the complete euphoric feeling sending shivers throughout my body. I gasped at how wonderful it felt and how much I needed him, causing me to tighten my grip on his shoulders. He continued to give my neck and collarbone tiny kisses which made me sigh loudly and wrap my legs around his waist, wanting him closer and closer with each movement.

"Katniss…" he whispered and I moved my hips along with him, the friction making me want to explode. His fiery skin on mine was addicting and I just needed more of him. The little sounds that were coming out of his mouth only made me groan louder, whispering his name over and over again. His hands were still wandering and I almost couldn't take it anymore, everything that he was doing felt so amazing. I felt whole, I felt complete, and I knew that it had all been worth it. Peeta would always be mine.

Then without any warning, I screamed his name so loudly I figured someone would hear but I honestly didn't care. The feeling of complete happiness and passion hit me like a wave and I felt my body relax slowly, feeling fixed and full of pleasure. Peeta did the same not long after me and we just stayed there, wrapped up in each others arms, taking in one another.

Peeta laid his forehead on mine as I brushed my fingers through his hair. I couldn't stop smiling, feeling both completely loved and in love. I never figured that I, Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, would ever have children. But here I was, in a place that I never thought I'd be, most importantly with Peeta by my side.

He slowly slid me off the counter and we began the task of redressing one another. I picked up his shirt off the ground and pulled it gently over his head, my hands running down his chest and stomach carefully. He gave me tender kisses on my hairline as I tugged at the bottom of the fabric and the feeling I got made me want to rip it off again and go back to our earlier activities. He slowly worked my shirt over my head down to my stomach, leaning down to give my belly a kiss before sliding my pants up my legs, leaving his hands on my waist. I did the same to him, buckling his belt and tucking the extra inside the next loop. I could still feel the warmth from his hands radiating on my hips and I never wanted to forget the feeling.

He gave me a languid kiss before we headed for home, locking up the bakery on our way out. The sun was now just inches from the horizon, throwing around beautiful pink's and orange's into the sky as it threatened to disappear from view completely. A few lightning bugs were starting to flicker as Peeta and I walked hand in hand down the road, hearing the distant laughter of children and a Mockingjay call.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him as we rounded a corner, my eyes sweeping across his face and noticing how deep in thought he was.

He smiled, looking up at the darkening sky. "How lucky we are." He answered simply, and I knew exactly what he meant. How lucky it was that we were together and, most importantly, alive. We were happy, healthy, and living to an age that I honestly never thought I'd reach back during the Games. I told myself I'd win, but there were always twinges of realization that I might not make it out alive and I'd have to miss all the important life events that people dream of. Not only did I live to get to experience them, but so did Peeta. We both did, which was a miracle in itself. At the beginning, the odds were certainly not in our favor. Looking back now, even though we had been through pain that most people couldn't even begin to fathom or imagine, the odds were in our favor at least where Peeta and I concerned.

I couldn't help but return his smile as he rested our joined hands on my stomach. The baby gave one big swing of its leg and both of our smiles grew. We had created what was moving inside of me, we had made him together. We loved each other so much that we made another living, or soon to be living, being. The idea was still hard for me to grasp.

The rest of the walk home was silent except for the birds and a few croaking frogs. The baby stirred a few more times which made Peeta's face light up with awe and amazement. He always loved to feel the baby moving and would usually just walk around with his hand on my stomach, never wanting to miss a minute.

We rounded the corner as our house came into view. Pearl and Haymitch were outside with his geese, Pearl cuddling a tiny baby in her arms. Haymitch was kneeling down next to her, showing her the little wings and explaining how they would eventually grow to be big like their parents. He was so gentle and caring with her, giving her hair a little ruffle when she nodded at him and began to rattle off more questions.

Pearl looked up to Peeta, Haymitch and me more than anyone else. We were the steady ones in her life and she depended on us. Sometimes though, I couldn't help but wonder what she would think if she knew that we have killed. All three of us have killed, no one was an exception. We all had the guilt or pain to bear for the rest of our lives, the horrible feeling in the back of our minds never leaving. Would she be sad? Would she be disappointed in us? Most importantly, would she be scared? Would it taint her perception of us?

I always thought about when and how to tell Pearl about the past, but I still don't know. Should she just learn about us in school and then come home to ask questions? Or should we tell her the true story first so she isn't biased? The most important thing to me was that she understood the circumstances. We were forced to kill, we weren't like the Careers. We didn't do it for fun, we did it to survive. I wanted her to understand that more than anything else. We would never hurt anyone; we would never wish anything like what happened to us on anyone else. Killing was mandatory; there was no way around it. I just wanted her to know that none of us are proud of it.

There was no use in thinking about it now. I wouldn't tell her until she was old enough to comprehend and fully understand. She was still a child; she was my baby and always would be. Peeta should be the one to tell her. He could explain it lots better than me anyways.

"Look Mama!" Pearl shouted once she heard our footsteps. "It's Sprinkles!" she laughed, holding out the little gosling for us to see. "Haymitch said I could keep him!"

I laughed, looking over at Haymitch who just smiled. "He did, did he?"

"I said if your Mama and Papa let you." Haymitch laughed back, covering his tracks.

"Well he will have to still live with Haymitch, but she can be yours." Peeta smiled, kneeling down to her level to give her a kiss.

Her eyes lit up as she hugged Sprinkles tighter. The little thing seemed to be asleep and I had to admit, it was kind of cute.

"We've already had dinner, but in the excitement of the day we didn't nap at all." Haymitch said with a smile on his face.

"Well I guess that's understandable." I replied, brushing a few stray hairs out of my face. I was starting to feel a little dizzy and the normal nauseated feeling was beginning to return. I just wanted to sit down, the walk back from the bakery mixed with the activities beforehand were incredibly exhausting.

"Why don't you give Sprinkles back to Haymitch so she can go to sleep and then we can go get ready for bed?" Peeta told Pearl, reading my thoughts. Sometimes I believed that he could read my mind.

Pearl sadly handed Sprinkles over to Haymitch, a frown on her angelic face. She gave her a kiss on the beak and then reached up on her tip toes to give Haymitch a kiss and hug. She whispered something in his ear which made him laugh and nod his head, giving her another hug before we turned to head inside.

"Come on Pearl, let's go take that bath." Peeta said, ushering her through the door. "Go relax on the couch, Katniss." He told me softly, a faint smile on his lips.

I gave him a thankful look and made my way over to the plush cushions, sitting down slowly and immediately feeling better. I heaved my swollen feet up next to me and sighed heavily, so ready to get this baby out of me and return to normal.

I wasn't as scared as last time. With Pearl, I didn't know what to expect at all and was so afraid of our lives changing so much that I couldn't handle it. I was more comfortable this go around since I knew what having a child was like, and adding another one couldn't be too incredibly different. I was actually looking forward to having another baby in the house which was something else I thought I'd never hear myself say. Even though pregnancy meant living in literally every level of hell, the end result was so worth it. It really was.

I focused on breathing regularly and trying not to get sick as I heard Pearl's laughs from up in the bathtub, probably giving Peeta a 'mustache makeover' as she liked to call it. Those bubbles from the bubble bath could entertain her more than anything.

Sometime later, when the sun had completely set and the moon was just starting to stream its beams through the window, Peeta and Pearl arrived back downstairs, fresh from their bath. I may have dozed off a little, my eyes jolting open when Peeta sat down on the couch next to me, the thick taste of sleep in my mouth. He placed one hand lightly on my leg while laying the other on my stomach as I curled into him, bringing my legs up and tucking them under a pillow. This was our usual after dinner activity since I was too sick to do much of anything. Pearl was playing with blocks on the floor, stacking them up as high as she could before they fell over.

We sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the warm wind howl through the open window and the crashing of Pearl's blocks. Soon though, she put them away and crawled up onto the couch, her head in Peeta's lap and her legs propped up on my belly. Almost immediately we heard her slow deep breaths, telling us that she had fallen asleep.

Peeta was stroking her dark hair, just barely touching her but it was enough to make her smile faintly in her sleep. He was gazing down at her with so much love that it made me want to have this baby even more. I wanted him to have another child that he could love and look after. I wanted him to have a boy so that he didn't have to deal with dresses and hair and "Sprinkles" for the rest of his life. I knew that he wouldn't mind, but I think he needed a boy; someone to play sports with, someone to teach how to be a man, someone that would look up to him because he was his dad. Peeta needed a little boy to love, and I wanted to give it to him.

"Do you have any names picked out?" I asked him, hoping he would say yes because I had absolutely no idea.

He sighed. "No, not really. I don't have any idea. We still have some time though; we don't have to rush into anything."

"I know, but Pearl's name came to us so quickly and easily… it's a lot harder with this one." I said, wishing the right name would just pop into my head.

"It will come, don't worry. We will find a name and it will be perfect." He breathed, his sweet breath tickling my face. Only Peeta could reassure me about the unknown.

"Are you excited?" I asked, hooking my arm through his.

"Are you kidding? I want you to have this baby right now!" he smiled, still stroking Pearl's dark locks.

"That makes two of us." I sighed, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Thank you." He whispered after a while, his voice so quiet but filled with so much passion. "You're doing something you said you'd never do because of me, because of us. I know it's not easy for you; I know you are uncomfortable and I know you want it to be over. I wish I could help you somehow, I really do. But just the fact that you are willing to do all of this…" he trailed off.

"It's not that bad." I told him shyly as he rubbed his thumb lightly across my belly.

"I love you." He told me simply, his voice sounding like he was telling me for the first time.

I nuzzled into his shoulder, breathing in deeply and smelling the familiar cinnamon and nutmeg mixture. "I know. I love you too." I replied, looking up at him and then down at Pearl.

We had made a life together, a home and a family. We had made Pearl and we had made this little baby inside me. No one expected much from us, the old "Star-Crossed Lovers", the broken and hurt champions of two Hunger Games. They probably thought we would end up in the psychiatric ward of the new hospital and never see daylight again. But we proved them all wrong. We built our lives from the ground up. We felt happiness again even if it sometimes came with grief, memories of all who were lost and horrible nightmares. We were a success story; we were the District 12 Tributes. I was the "Girl on Fire" and he was my "Boy with the Bread". He was my best friend, my lover, the only one that truly understood me, and me him. We would always be there for each other, no matter what games we had to play. My husband, my boy with the bread, Our Pearl, Our Baby. My Peeta.


	14. Chapter 14

**Note from Adillae:**

**The author's note is at the end of this chapter, if you wish to read it. I feel like I owe you an explanation. Nonetheless, I hope that you are having a wonderful day and remember that you are beautiful! Enjoy!  
>Sper că aveţi o zi minunată şi amintiţi-vă că eşti frumoasă! Bucuraţi-vă!<strong>

My heart couldn't help but flutter as I held the little blue bundle in my arms, a feeling of awe pulsing through my body making this all seem like a dream. He looked so angelic and so heavenly that I didn't want to look anywhere else. I gazed upon his sleeping face, his tiny mouth barely open and his blonde eyelashes brushing lightly against his cheeks. He was only a few days old and was still scrunched up into a little ball, not wanting to relax or loosen up just yet. He had been a week early but was as healthy and happy as Pearl, and for that I was thankful.

I tore my eyes off of him for just a moment so that I could look up at Peeta. His face was relaxed in amazement, tears shinning in his eyes although not overflowing quite yet. Pearl sat quietly in his lap, sitting very still and staring at the little guy, a curious but excited look on her face. I sniffed, feeling tears rush into my eyes as I glanced back up at Peeta. He still hadn't taken his eyes off of his son. His son. My son. Our son.

I could look at him forever, and I'm positive that Peeta would be more than happy to just sit here on the floor all day and hold him. I couldn't stop running my fingers over his little nose, his pink cheeks, his tiny lips, his adorable ears, his blonde peach-fuzz head.

"Do we really get to keep him?" Pearl whispered after a long silence that consisted of us just watching him, taking in his every movement and committing it to memory. I was still so amazed that he was actually here, right in front of me, and I didn't want to forget anything.

Peeta chuckled at her question, finally tearing his eyes off of the child in my arms to look down at his dark-haired daughter. "Yes, we really do! We will get to keep him forever." He answered, sniffing softly.

Her eyes lit up as she looked at my face, and I returned her enthusiastic smile. The four of us here together was still so surreal that I felt like I was floating, and I never wanted to come down.

"What will I call him?" she asked, looking back down at him.

"Oliver. His name is Oliver." I told her quietly, the name sounding like music to my ears.

I knew 'Oliver' was perfect right when I saw it. It was only a few weeks ago, and Peeta and I hadn't talked names a whole bunch. I was starting to get worried, wondering if we were really prepared, but every time we brought up the subject we just couldn't find anything that we liked or that fit. After a frustrated pillow-throwing session from me, I stormed upstairs and slammed the bedroom door shut, upset and mad and knowing that I shouldn't be. I sat up there alone for quite a while, trying to calm myself down, and that's when I noticed it. Our book, my father's book, the book that Peeta and I spent so much time working on, was sitting on Peeta's bedside table. I rolled across the bed and grabbed it, suddenly wanting to see my father's handwriting and see the pictures that he created with his own hands. I had a pang of sadness and guilt that only thinking about my father would bring me, but the craving to see his creations outweighed the feeling.

I spent a long time reading through the book, the familiar penmanship soothing my nerves and relaxing me more than I anticipated. I continued to flip pages, pictures of the meadow, the trees and The Seam unfolding in front of my eyes before I landed on one that I hadn't seen in such a long time. The Olive Tree.

I remembered Father telling me about the Olive Trees and the olives themselves. He had only seen them once, and it was a long time ago when he was a young child. Someone passing through the District, back when it was easier to do so, had a can of olives and a picture of the old looking, magnificent tree with him. Father was so interested, so fascinated with the unfamiliar tree that he spend the whole day questioning the man about it until he knew everything there was to know about them, and then ran home to copy it in this book. The trees looked like they were a thousand years old and weren't very tall, but very beautiful. They had little green olives hanging from them and a sort of majestic feel about them. I had never seen one even though I've always wanted to, but the book was always enough to satisfy me.

I spent a while just taking in the gorgeous hand drawn picture before I started to decipher the cramped handwriting next to the tree. He explained the story and his curiosity, and wrote about some of the uses of the olives. What sparked my interest was at the very bottom, however; a little footnote of sorts that mentioned the name Oliver. My heart gave a little flutter when I read those letters in his loopy handwriting and I'll never forget the feeling. It said 'Oliver' was derived from the Latin words for 'Olive Tree', and that it meant peace, dignity, strength and hope.

I couldn't get the name out of my head for the rest of the night, and I knew that I had to tell Peeta. I showed him the page in the book and I'll never forget how his face softened, how he glanced at me and then down to my stomach before smiling in complete adoration. He gave me a kiss before moving his lips down to my belly, writing 'Oliver' into my stomach and feeling the baby stirring, just like with Pearl.

"Oliver." Pearl repeated as she looked back down at him, her sparkling blue eyes matching Peeta's almost perfectly. "I like it."

"Me too." Peeta whispered, rubbing his finger across Oliver's cheek. He gurgled quietly in his sleep, stirring slightly as I gave his forehead a tiny kiss.

"I love you Oliver." Pearl giggled, crawling out of Peeta's lap and over in front of me, giving him a little kiss on the cheek before petting his head gently. I felt Peeta's hand rest lightly on my arm and I looked over at him, tears in both of our eyes. He scooted next to me, giving me a kiss on the cheek before running his finger over Oliver's tiny ones.

Oliver slowly opened his eyes to reveal the dull shade of Seam grey. This didn't bother me as much as I was expecting. The color looked so much better on him than it did on me. The grey made him look wise and had the same piercing effect that Pearls had.

"So, he was inside of you that whole time?" Pearl asked again, scrunching her face up as she tried to understand.

I only nodded, not really wanting to explain too in-depth about the process, and thankfully that seemed to satisfy her. She turned back to look at him, carefully bringing one of her fingers up to Oliver's cheek just like she had seen Peeta do. He turned his head a little and she beamed, looking up at me in excitement. I smiled back down at her, brushing some of her dark hair out of her eyes.

I caught Peeta's eye and gave him a grin, one that he returned whole-heartedly. He held my gaze for a few moments before he looked back down at the bouncing little girl and the tiny sleeping baby, sniffing quietly to himself. I felt a warm, fulfilling sensation spread through my body as I looked down at the two things that I had created. Peeta and I created.

We spent the entire afternoon on the floor, the three of us showering Oliver in hugs, kisses and love. Pearl was in awe, and I felt in awe looking at her. She was so excited and could barely stop talking. She was telling him all about her goose Sprinkles, what she liked to do, and how she could teach him how to race.

"I'll go start dinner." Peeta said quietly once the sun had started to set, sneaking away from us as he started towards the kitchen. Pearl looked up at him and smiled, sliding away from me and Oliver to the kitchen. Peeta and Pearl spent most of their time together in the kitchen. He would teach her everything he knew and she enjoyed the time that he spent with her. I was glad to see that their time together wouldn't change, even though we had Oliver now.

"I'll be right over there Oliver, okay?" Pearl told him quietly, pointing to the kitchen as she slowly followed Peeta, turning around every few steps to make sure that he was still there.

I couldn't help but get teary eyed as she blew him a kiss once she reached the counter, scaling the drawers like an expert and pulling herself up onto the top, sitting down and dangling her feet over the edge. Peeta handed her a jar of jam to hold as she instantly started talking, Peeta listening intently as he made us sandwiches. She was so sweet, so thoughtful, so curious and intelligent, and she had her father's heart. She was so much like Peeta, and I was so thankful that she turned out the way she did.

I looked down at Oliver, smiling at the tiny sleeping bundle. Life before our children seemed like such a long time ago. The games and our "star crossed lovers" ordeal almost felt surreal, and to this day I'm not quite sure how we both managed to get out of it alive. I felt like I had become a different person, a better person. Peeta helped me see the good in the world, even though we were both still hurting and coping. Of course, the nightmares and tracker jacker episodes were still plaguing our minds, but they were less frequent. Pearl rarely ever had to sing to Peeta, and when he felt himself get out of control he would leave. We were there for each other at night when it all became too much, and together we made it through.

I wanted to be better for Pearl and Oliver. They made me want to be the best mother that I could be, which was something that I thought would never happen. I couldn't imagine life without them now, and I didn't want to. I owed all of this to Peeta, to his heart and to his pure love of me.

"Careful, Pearl." I heard Peeta say as I turned around to see her carrying a tray full of sandwiches and sugar cookies. She slowed down and gently maneuvered around the couch before setting the large platter down in front of me, sitting down cross-legged on the other side. Peeta was not far behind with a pitcher of lemonade and glasses.

"Daddy said it's like a picnic!" Pearl giggled as Peeta slid a sandwich onto a plate and handed it to her.

"The best kind of picnic I'd say." I smiled as she slid over next to me, taking a bite of her food and looking down at her brother in awe.

"You're sure we really get to keep him?" she asked quietly, looking up at me.

"Of course we do, you goofball!" I giggled as Peeta brushed his fingers across Oliver's peach fuzz.

"We are going to get to do so much fun stuff together!" She giggled, leaning her head against my arm to get a better view of him.

"You'll have to wait until he's older, sweetheart." I told her, gently rocking Oliver back and forth. "He is going to be spending a lot of his time sleeping."

"That's okay. We have a long time to be together." She whispered.

Peeta smiled, blowing her a kiss. "You'll always have him, and he will always have you." He told her, and she looked back down at him while taking a large bite of her sandwich.

We had our dinner on the middle of the living room floor, all of us just sitting there watching Oliver, smiling at each other and giggling. My heart was complete. I had a beautiful girl and a precious baby boy, and a perfect husband. This, right now, our picnic on the floor, made everything Peeta and I went through seem almost worth it.

Suddenly, somebody knocked at our door four times and Pearl smiled, knowing Haymitch's signature knock. She carefully got up and pulled open the big oak door, jumping into Haymitch's arms and giving him a big kiss. He caught her happily and twirled her around as he closed the door, taking a few steps into the house before he set her back down. She grabbed his hand and led him over to where we were camped out and he took off his hat, giving Peeta and me a smile.

"Hi." He said quietly, his voice rough and husky like always.

He rounded the corner by the sofa and stopped once he saw Oliver, his eyes immediately becoming somewhat misty. He kneeled down on the floor next to me as I carefully extended my arms to him, holding Oliver out for him to grab.

He set his hat down on the floor as he gently grabbed the tiny blue bundle, pulling him close to his arms and looking down at him in awe. Pearl stood next to Haymitch, giving Oliver a little kiss on the forehead. I heard Haymitch sniff and I looked at Peeta, whose face was bursting with happiness.

Peeta took advantage of my free arms and pulled me close to him, scooting us over closer to Haymitch. I turned and gave his cheek a kiss, feeling so incredibly happy that I could hardly contain myself. I couldn't stop smiling.

"What did you name the little bugger?" Haymitch chuckled after a short silence, rocking him gently back and forth.

"Oliver!" Pearl beamed, laying a hand on Haymitch's shoulder. "And we get to keep him forever!"

"How exciting!" Haymitch laughed, turning to give Pearl a kiss on her cheek, his beard tickling her face and making her squirm. Haymitch turned and handed Oliver back to me gently as Peeta put a few sandwiches on a plate and slid them over to him. He nodded thankfully and started to eat, joining our party a little late.

"How are you doing mommy?" He asked me, elbowing me gently.

I turned to smile at him and elbowed him back. "I'm fine. A little sore, but alright. It's all very surreal."

Oliver's pregnancy and birth had been so much harder than Pearl's. With Pearl, everything was easy and mostly painless, and I felt great after giving birth. This time, however, was different. I was moody, I had the strangest cravings, I couldn't sleep, my feet were always swollen, I felt so uncomfortable and huge all of the time, and I yelled at poor Peeta so much I thought it was a miracle that he was still with me. Oliver weighed a few more pounds than Pearl did, and a tiny woman like me giving birth to a nine pound baby was so excruciatingly painful. I was still incredibly sore and I took a while to move, and I hoped Peeta couldn't tell.

"I bet so." He whispered. "You're very lucky, two children and no complications."

"I know. We're extremely lucky." Peeta said, pouring Haymitch some lemonade.

"Can you stay Haymitch? I want you to teach me more about how plants grow." Pearl asked, sliding into his lap. She looked up at him, putting on her best "pretty please" face for him that she knew he couldn't resist.

He looked up at Peeta and me, and we both nodded. Both of their faces lit up and Haymitch stood up, sweeping Pearl up into his arms before bending over to give my hair a kiss. The two of them walked out of the back door and disappeared, probaby heading over to the garden that we had in the back.

Pearl had Haymitch wrapped around her finger. I never thought that I would ever see Haymitch act like that. I never thought that I would ever see him happy again. He had really turned his life around and was a grandpa to Pearl. She loved spending time with him, and he enjoyed her company just as much. He taught her things that Peeta and I couldn't, and was always there for her if we were ever having a trying day. He was so gentle and sweet with her, and he wanted the best for her. If you told me back in the games that this was how Haymitch would turn out, I would've laughed until I cried. Now though, seeing how he acted with her, seeing how much he cared and how much he got to live through her, I was so glad that it turned out this way.

The demons never left anyone completely, however. Sometimes we would still have to go and check on him or douse him with water, making sure that he wasn't being too dangerous. I had learned to trust him. I trusted him with Pearl and I would trust him just as much with Oliver, and I knew that it wasn't his fault. He had awful memories too, and just like ours, they wouldn't leave him alone. The Capitol never left anyone alone.

He had so many other hobbies to keep his mind off of drinking. He started to get into gardening, and of course was still keeping up his geese family and his knitting. He also became interested in the stars, and was able to answer all of Pearl's never ending questions about the sky. I was so proud of him, and I knew Peeta was too.

"I love you." I heard Peeta whisper, nuzzling his head in my hair.

"I love you too." I breathed, turning to give him a tiny kiss that didn't satisfy me in the least. "I'm so happy."

Peeta chuckled, reaching down to grab Oliver's tiny hand, his little fingers grabbing onto Peeta's pinky tightly. I giggled as I gave Oliver's cheek a small kiss, feeling him wiggle in my arms.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me quietly, his hand still being held captive by Oliver's.

"I'm alright." I smiled.

"No, really." He whispered, his eyes piercing.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his shoulder. "It hurts." I said softly. "It hurts a lot."

He resituated himself so that he was able to wrap his arm around me and I snuggled into him, resting my head against his chest. Oliver made a few noises in his sleep, gurgling quietly to himself.

"What can I do to help you?" he asked, his voice sounding exhausted. I knew that he was tired too. He insisted on getting up in the middle of the night to help with Oliver, and he stayed up late just holding him and watching him sleep soundly. He would get up early, play with Pearl, let me sleep, take care of Oliver, and was always the last one in bed. I didn't want to make this all about me, because I knew that it was both of us, but my body was still so sore that it sometimes hurt if I took too deep of a breath.

"Just hold me." I said, feeling like a selfish child. I didn't want to move, I only wanted to stay here with Peeta and our sleeping little boy. I just had to remember that the pain was temporary, and the end result was better that I could've even imagined. I could make it through this, I just had to think of the positives.

We spent the rest of the night on the floor, smiling at the little bundle of joy that we made together. I would never get tired of looking into his Seam eyes. They reminded me of my old home back in a world that didn't exist anymore. They reminded me of the struggle that Peeta and I went through in order to be alive. But they also gave me hope, and told me to be strong.

Haymitch brought a very sleepy Pearl in once it started to get dark, and I stood up carefully, not wanting to wake Oliver. Peeta steadied me before he started to gather dishes, making a trip to the kitchen.

"Congratulations, both of you. He is precious. If he is anything like this one, then you hit the jackpot." He chuckled, rubbing Pearl's back as she closed her eyes, snuggling into him.

Peeta came from the kitchen and slowly slid Pearl out of Haymitch's arms and into his own, giving her temple a kiss and smoothed her hair. "Will you be okay?" Peeta asked him gently.

"Don't worry about me." He said hoarsely. "I'll be back tomorrow, Pearl is set on having me show her how to not overwater your garden." He laughed.

"Well of course, you are always welcome." I smiled as he walked over and gave me a loose hug, giving Oliver a kiss on the forehead and doing the same to Pearl. He shook Peeta's hand before making his way to the door, waving before he closed it.

I turned to look at Peeta, giving him a smile. He returned it, looking tired and yet so happy. He started up the stairs and I followed him, a few of the steps creaking as we quietly made our way to Pearl's room. He changed her into her nightgown and I pulled back the covers with one arm, Peeta sliding her inside and tucking her in. He bent down and kissed her forehead, moving out of the way so that I could do the same. She was already asleep and we giggled as we went up to Oliver's room, Peeta stepping inside and turning on the light.

Peeta had spent so much time making this room just as perfect as Pearl's. He painted a large mural of an olive tree that sprawled across the entire wall where the crib was. He had spent hours perfecting every detail, every stroke of his brush playing off of the next to create the most life like, serene piece of artwork he had ever painted. The rest of the room was an off white except for the curtains and some of Haymitch's blankets, which were the same olive tone green as the mural. Peeta had made the crib himself, cutting out the words to Oliver's name out of a tree from the backyard and hanging them above his crib.

I walked over to the crib and gently laid the sleeping baby inside, wrapping my arms around Peeta's waist as I scooted closer to him, looking down at our little son. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I inhaled deeply, smiling at the familiar smell of cinnamon and nutmeg.

Eventually, he pulled me away from the crib and we went across the hall to our own room, leaving the door slightly ajar so we could hear any noises or cries. Peeta went straight for the window, opening it wide and letting all of the cool October air in. I smiled as I grabbed the end of my braid, undoing the tie and running my fingers through the wavy mess. We changed silently, both lost in our own little worlds of happiness.

I felt Peeta come up behind me, wrapping his arms firmly around my waist. I felt his lips at the spot where my shoulder meets my neck, gently kissing up to my earlobe. I giggled, turning around in his arms to give him a proper kiss. I held his head to mine, feeling his tongue swipe across my bottom lip. I deepened it, feeling his arms travel from my waist up my back, sending tingles wherever his skin touched. I wanted him, but I knew it wasn't possible.

We collapsed on our bed as he pulled me close to him, my head laying on his chest and listening for his heartbeat. I smiled at the powerful, relaxing sound and knew that it was the center of my whole world. Without it, I would be nothing.

"I've missed holding you." He whispered, running his fingers through my hair.

"I've missed being held." I replied as he reached down and pulled the covers around us and I snuggled deeper into him, feeling so content that if I died right here and now, I would be happy.

"Try and get some sleep." He said as I closed my eyes, falling into a comfortable slumber in a matter of seconds.

I awoke a few hours later and kicked my blankets off, sliding out of bed to go check on the little guy. I hadn't heard any noise yet and I wanted to make sure he was okay. I tiptoed across the hallway, tying not to wake Pearl, but stopped once I got to the doorway.

Pearl had managed to crawl into Oliver's crib and was sitting with her back against the wall, her bare feet sticking out towards the front. Oliver was asleep perpendicular to her, obviously not aware that his sister was in the room. She was very gently rubbing his stomach, his head closest to her. She leaned over and gave him a kiss and smoothed his peach fuzz before going back to rub his stomach tenderly, blabbing away quietly to him.

"And in the summer time, we can walk down to the meadow and I can teach you how to climb trees. There are tons of them there and you can go really high. But I won't let you fall; you don't have to get scared." She reassured quietly. "Then Haymitch can teach you about the stars. Did you know they all have names? And there are so many of them. I've counted at least twenty but Haymitch says there are lots more than that. And then you can meet my goose Sprinkles, and I can show you how to feed her, and maybe you can even have one too! And Daddy can teach you how to cook since he always makes things that taste really good, and Mommy can bring you out into the woods and teach you how to be quiet when you're looking for animals." She rambled.

I stood by the doorway, hidden in the shadows, trying not to cry. I held a hand over my mouth as a few tears leaked silently out of my eyes. She was so touching, the way that she spoke to him like they were already best friends. She loved him so much. I was in awe of my little girl.

I heard the floor creak behind me and I turned to see Peeta, rubbing his eyes and walking over behind me, giving me a concerned look. I tilted my head towards the room and he took a step closer in order to listen.

"There is this really cool river in town and sometimes, as long as we're good, Mommy and Daddy will let us swim. Haymitch comes too, and he can swim so fast! So can Daddy. I can teach you how to throw things, and then we can go running through the grass…" she trailed on as Peeta turned to look at me, wearing the same facial expression I was. He wrapped one arm around my waist and held me for a few moments before he stepped inside the room, Pearl looking up and smiling at him.

"Pearl, what are you doing? It's late." He smiled, walking over to the crib and gently picking her up into his arms.

"I was telling Oliver about all the fun things we can do." She said as she yawned, settling into Peeta's arms.

I walked up behind him and gave Pearl a kiss on the forehead, smoothing her hair as I smiled. "You and Oliver can do so many things together, but he will have to be a little bit older remember. You'll have to be patient."

"I'll be patient, Mommy." She whispered as she closed her eyes, almost instantly falling asleep.

Peeta turned around and started to carry her back to her room as I walked over to Oliver's crib, peeking in to see that he was still asleep and looked happy. I sniffed and walked back out into the hallway, meeting Peeta there.

His arms encircled my waist as he hugged me tightly, swooping me up into his arms and carrying me back to bed, laying me down gently. He crawled on top of me and gave me a deep kiss, snaking one of his arms around my waist. I wanted it to turn into something more almost immediately, but knew that I was too much pain at the moment and Peeta would never let it happen.

"Thank you." He whispered, kissing up my neck to my lips.

"For what?" I giggled, his fingers brushing against my arm, tickling me.

"Everything. Carrying these kids, handling all of the pain, being the best mother in the whole world…" he trailed off, looking up at me.

I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled, so in love with him that I thought I was going to burst. "You're the most wonderful father in the entire world, and I love you." I told him quietly, bringing his lips back to mine.

"I love you too, sweetheart." He whispered in between kisses. He eventually rolled off of me and I pulled myself close to him, falling back asleep almost instantly.

I awoke for the second time, stretching quietly and opening my eyes to see that I was alone. I sat up, squinting in the daylight and rolling out of bed, quickly changing into a simple shirt and pants before heading downstairs to where I heard Peeta and Pearl giggling.

"Good morning Mommy!" Pearl shouted as she saw me emerge from the staircase.

"Good morning darling, what are you doing?" I asked her, walking over to her and giving her a big hug and kiss. She giggled as I walked over to Peeta and gave him a kiss too before making my way over to Oliver, who was in a little infant chair that Peeta had made for Pearl. I picked him up gently and rocked him back and forth, looking over at Pearl as she answered my question.

"We're making breakfast! Blueberry pancakes with cinnamon!" she smiled as Peeta gave her some blueberries to toss into the mix.

"That sounds delicious!" I said as Peeta flipped one over, the batter sizzling and making the house smell wonderful. Peeta turned to me and held out his arms, and I smiled as I walked over and handed Oliver to him. He gave him a big kiss before Pearl leaned over to do the same. I smiled at the scene in front of me, my heart happy and completely full.

Haymitch knocked on the door four times and I unwillingly tore my eyes away from the precious sight in order to walk over and answer it. I made my way around the table to the big oak door, unlocking the deadbolt loudly and heaving it open. What I saw made me gasp loudly.

Haymitch was there, holding a wrapped gift and a plate of food, a large smile on his face. He chuckled as he stepped inside, revealing a large group of other people. Mom, Greasy Sae, her granddaughter, Gale, Violet, Dr. Aurelius and Johanna.

I gasped, a smile growing on my face as Mom stepped inside first and gave me a big hug, running my braid between her fingers and whispering something I couldn't quite understand. We had been getting along alright lately, but we were both trying. She wanted to be there for Oliver and after some therapeutic shouting sessions, we had mostly come to terms. It was still a work in progress.

She let me go and stepped inside just as Gale wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up, swirling me around once. I laughed as he set me down, pulling away to look at his face. He seemed to be glowing with happiness, and he didn't have any bags under his eyes. He let me go and I gave Violet a hug, which was difficult because of her growing pregnant belly. The last time they came to visit she was barely a few months along, but now she was large enough for it to be obvious. I gave her a kiss on the cheek as she grabbed my hands and squeezed them, letting me go to make her way over to Gale, who was now starting a crowd around Pearl and Oliver.

Greasy Sae gave me a large grin and an even bigger hug. I hadn't seen her in such a long time, and I owed practically all of my cooking skills to her. She pulled away to give me a once over, and apparently approving. "I'm so proud of you, Mockingjay." She whispered as her granddaughter hugged my legs.

I smiled as Greasy Sae went inside to see the kids, and I picked up her granddaughter for a proper hug before letting her go find Pearl. They got along so well and would often play with a ball or make up all sorts of games to pass the time. They enjoyed each other and understood each other, much like Peeta did. I couldn't help but chuckle and smile as I watched Pearl give her a hug before Peeta did the same, watching it come full circle.

Dr. Aurelius gave me a loose hug and a smile before going in to see the little ones. I knew that he would want to talk later. It had been a while since Peeta and I had called him, and I knew we would probably be in a little bit of trouble.

Johanna was last, but she gave me the biggest hug. She laughed and shut the door behind her as she shouted "surprise!" at me, her rough face looking a little calmer.

"Johanna, what on Earth…?" I trailed off, so surprised to see her. The last thing I had heard about her was that she was traveling around the districts, not quite sure what she was going to do. That was years ago now. I always had her in the back of my mind, but I never asked. It was complicated.

"I was traveling through District 12 and thought that I would see if you guys were still here. I met Haymtich and started chatting, and he got this whole thing together while you were in the hospital." She smiled, grabbing my hand.

"I…" I didn't know what to say. I was so touched by her, by Haymitch, by everyone being here to see my family.

She knew that I was at a loss for words and giggled slightly, letting my hand go. "We can catch up later, but right now I wanna meet your little ones!" she told me, stepping inside towards the kitchen.

I turned around to look at my house, full of people that I had missed without even realizing. Oliver was being passed around and was currently in the strong arms of Gale, making Oliver look even tinier that he actually was. He smiled down at the little boy before he gently passed him over to Violet, who took him carefully and looked up at Peeta, who grinned back at her. Gale pulled her close to him and extended his other arm out to Peeta, who shook it gratefully, both of them smiling.

Pearl was sitting on Mom's lap, telling her a big long story and using lots of hand gestures. Mom sat there and listened to every gripping detail as she gently rubbed her back, only stealing her eyes away for a moment to smile at me.

I returned it, watching Oliver being handed around the kitchen. Haymitch was talking to Greasy Sae and her granddaughter about something exciting, while Gale, Violet, Peeta and Johanna were all chatting and smiling. I took a step forward towards Peeta, who found my eyes and gave me a large grin, holding out his hand a little for me to take. I slid next to him, his fingers lacing themselves in mine, and I knew that it was worth it. Everything I had ever been through was worth it. Seeing a house full of people who were struggling just like I was come together and be happy, seeing my little girl run around and play and tell stories, seeing my baby boy being loved by everyone who was important to me, seeing all of these broken, struggling people be truly happy made all of my suffering worth it.

If you would've told me that back in the games, during the Quarter Quell, during the time that Peeta was taken from me, or while I was watching him constantly hurt himself in order to stay in the present that it would be worth it, I would've gotten angry and defensive. But seeing how my life was right now at this very second, seeing all of these people together with my children, made everything worth it. Even though the nightmares hadn't stopped, and they probably hadn't stopped for anyone in this room, even though we had all gone through unimaginable suffering, we were together and we were happy.

I looked up at Peeta and smiled, watching him laugh and joke with Gale and absentmindedly look around the house to find Oliver and Pearl. We had made this together. Without him, I would be nothing. None of this would've happened, and I knew that we were meant to survive and create all of this. We were meant to be together.

My husband. My boy with the bread. My Pearl. My Oliver. My Peeta.

..

**Note from Adillae: **

**I feel like I owe each and every one of you an explanation. Being gone for a year is unacceptable, and I understand that. If you don't wish to read this, then go ahead and skip it. I do not want to come off as playing a sympathy card. **

**The last thing I want is to come off as stuck up, snobby, insensitive or arrogant. I appreciate every word of everyone's reviews and I am very grateful that this story has gotten as much attention as it has. I am very honored and beyond flattered to have this story win an award. I am touched. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this; it would never have been possible without all of you. **

**To put it simply, the past year, I was in and out of a coma. My vitals were still alright, but I would fall into a comatose state for weeks on end, only to wake up for a few minutes and fall right back into one. It became a vicious cycle. I finally woke up completely about a month ago, and I have been trying to wrap my head around the whole experience. Essentially I was alive, but I wasn't really living. I lost a year of my life because I was wasting away in a New York hospital. It's been very difficult for me to get back on track, and I feel especially bad for making it look like I have abandoned this story. Believe me that was not my intention. **

**I only have one chapter left after this. I know that this probably isn't my best, but I would never put something out that I wasn't proud of. I hope you enjoy it and know that it will definitely not be a year until my next update. **

**Thank you so much for everything 3**


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